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The other day, our friends over at YourTango asked: When it comes to your family, how much sex talk is too much? And we started wondering: Do you discuss your sex life with your parents?Lemondrop reader Sam says, "Hell no. I want them to think I died a virgin."
For some ladies, it's a selective process -- both in terms of what information to disclose and who to disclose it to. Jade tells us that she gossips about who she's hooking up with to her aunt but never to her immediate family. "That would be so weird. Like, hey Mom, my new boyfriend is the best at oral!"
Here at Lemondrop, we grew up on the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Our mother raised us to be celibate for life -- or until we wed a Harvard graduate with a six-figure income, anyway. All signs of remotely un-virgin-like behavior are swept under the rug without further discussion. Our mom thinks our boyfriend takes the couch when he sleeps over and the obscenely ruffly G-strings in our underwear drawer are purely for our own enjoyment.
What about you? Do you tell your mom about your conquests over wine? Or do you prefer to keep the details of your sex life in the bedroom?
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Wednesday 24 February
By SexlessInTheCity
My mother was always really open with me about sex, and I appreciated the information and feeling like I never had to hide anything.
Of course, I'm a virgin with an awful dating life, so it's not like I have anything to hide anyway... http://athousandfrogs.blogspot.com
But my friends like that they can trust her with their sex lives, and ask questions from someone with more experience than they have.
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Wednesday 24 February
By Jackie
Love your site! Today was my first visit, but there will be many more. Keep up the good work!
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Wednesday 24 February
By SexlessInTheCity
My mom was always really open with me about sex, and I appreciated the honesty and knowing that I would never have to hide anything from her.
Then again, I'm a virgin with a horrific dating life, so...
http://athousandfrogs.blogspot.com
My friends, however, enjoy knowing that they can trust my mom with their sex questions, and they actually have sex, so that's saying something...
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Wednesday 24 February
By Caitlin
No, no, and no. Again, no. I can't bear to think about talking sex with my mom. That's a strictly friends (and sister) only topic!
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Wednesday 24 February
By stak
It may sound weird but i told my mom about my first orgasm.. and she told me about hers.. with my dad.. which i will admit was a little disgusting, because as open as I am about telling her, the thought of my parents still doing it freaks me out a tit. But yeah we talk sex.. she is my bestie and i can tell her anything, she is very open and down to earth. Its not like thats all we talk about, I just can talk to her if I need to.
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Wednesday 24 February
By Laura
Haha well i've ha my dad pick up my birth control before so i think the discreet ship has sailed. My parents have always been open but i don't feel the need to discuss too much with them, they are aware that i am a woman with a boyfriend and we have sex, that's all there is to it! My mom gave me the sex talk relatively early at around age 8 or 9, she talked to me about masturbating and awkward things like that in middle school when i would ask. I always felt very comfortable talking to her and i think thats the key, having that door open is very important to our relationship.
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Thursday 25 February
By Sedna
Oh hell no. They know I'm not a virgin and that I have sex regularly, but I don't give details and I don't want her details.
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Thursday 25 February
By Laura
Absolutely not. Pre-Marital relations are frowned upon in my religious household. It would kill my parents to learn that I've had sex with (or even kissed!) as many guys as I have, let alone one.
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Friday 26 February
By Leslie
My mom (and dad) were very open about sex. In fact, my mother gave me my first vibrator, told me which birth control was best, and even educated me about masturbation. We'd frequently have talks about boys I was dating, and having sex with. She taught me how to give good oral and some hints on deep throating a guy. I'm really pleased all this happened, it has made me a very openly sexual person, quite confident in my sexual exploits, and knowledgeable about all aspects of sex.
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Sunday 02 May
By michaela
no fair I wish I had a mother like yours
Saturday 27 February
By mary
i would never be able to talk with my mom about sex... when she found out i wasnt a virgin anymore, she vomited and cried for 3 hours. the message was pretty clear.
my boyfriend is really open with his mom about it though. but he comes from a country where HIV is a lot more widespread then here, and he had a half-sister who died from AIDS, so its much more important in his culture that parents educate their kids early on about the dangers of unprotected sex. his mother is really religious, but she would rather see her son be a sinner than be in a coffin. they dont discus details, she just reminds him how important it is to use protection, and once she told him never to decide anything while in laying in bed with a woman. im guessing she pulled that one too many times to want her son to get tricked.
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Saturday 27 February
By Gothicat
My mum and I are totally best friends, almost sisters. We talk about everything. I work in the Adult Toy Industry and she asks my opinion on what vibrator is best for her needs etc and we talk about what guys look tasty when we're out clubbing. I called up on valentine's day to wish her a happy valentine's and my dad shouted out I had just cock blocked him! (which is a biggy for him as he is a lapsed catholic and talking about any sex embarreses him slightly.) Mum and I take great delight in teasing him (like asking him if their new bed squeeks when he's having sex).
Mum even stole my cat ears (!) because my dad thought they looked sexy on her.
So yes.. i do talk about anything and everything with my mum. Which I think is a good thing given my lifestyle. (bi poly ethical slut)
Lots of Love
Gothicat
xxx
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Saturday 27 February
By anisatanner
Girls, just a funny flashback...do you remember when your mom first sat you down and had the birds and bees talk with you? I do and have to laugh cuz I know that she ended up making me more confused than not.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Virility-Ex-Review---Does-Virility-Ex-Enlargement-Pills-Really-Work?&id=3476515
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Saturday 27 February
By BlueSkyLark
when i'm in a relationship and 'doing it' (i don't really enjoy one nighters or 'friends with benefits"...i have done both at various times...and i'm not saying that they're horrible and immoral, etc. etc. just do what/who bakes your muffin^.^) i will often let my Mom know that my person and i are 'doing it', so that if something happens--emotionally as well as physically-- she can lend me her wisdom and knowledge and/or comfort me if things go pear-shaped.
however, it's not ever like i tell my Mom "Hey Mom, (whoever) and i are screwing, just so you know." we tend to talk about it in a more...less blatant way.
so when i tell her, it's more of a: "well Mom, (so and so) and i have/are get/ting close to the point where i feel comfortable about the whole intimacy thing. i just want you to know, because your input and support are really important to me."
but then, i've always been really close to my Mom and feel comfortable talking to/with her about pretty much anything. some of it has to do with the fact that i'm chronically ill and disabled; so she been my 'partner' in regards to medical stuff. so we're really close, doesn't mean we don't fight or disagree sometimes. but she's been the one person who has always been in my corner and she's my anchor. as much as i love my Da, and i totally do--i've always been a Dad's girl. however, he's about as stable as i am and is dealing with a bout of pretty serious depression and alcoholism.
i'm rambling for no good reason at this point. basically, yes i do talk sex with my Mom, we're just kinda vague, lol. also, she's never been forthcoming with stories of her own sexual exploits, which is just fine with me, lol^.^
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Monday 01 March
By April R
I tell my mom, but she doesn't want to hear it, haha.
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Thursday 04 March
By starrynight
I grew up in a religious household where my Mom does not believe in pre-martial sex. She was a virgin when she met my Dad and gave herself to him for the first time on her wedding night. They were both 21 when they got married.
I gave my virginity to my first serious BF at age 25, and when he gave me HPV (he lied about STD testing), I confided in my Mom. She flipped and it almost cost the two of us our entire relationship. At the time, she told me she felt like she failed as a parent.
Fast forward a year, she really likes my current BF, and we've been together for about 8 months now. He and I have not yet had sex (taking things slow), but when we do, I don't plan on discussing it with her.
Given the past rift in our relationship, she doesn't ask anything she doesn't want to know the answer to. I think she honestly tells herself that when I sleep over his house I sleep on the couch.
It's a shame that the choices I've made with my own body have affected her so deeply, but not everyone meets their soulmate at 18 and gets married at 21. I think dating is harder nowadays, and it's a shame that I don't really get the support / BFF relationship with her that I envisioned us having.
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Friday 05 March
By Katelyn
no i did it once on the couch all night it felt good nowhe got me pregant
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Thursday 18 March
By WWW.CUPIDONSEXTOYS.COM
sometimes!
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Saturday 20 March
By airplane
My mother has always been extremely open about sex, ever since I was in high school. She made sure I knew how to make educated decisions, and had the resources I needed to stay safe. She introduced me to her obgyn, and made sure I was comfortable with everything being sexually active entails, including choosing my own birth control, and not to be ashamed to purchase my own condoms.
Sure, sometimes things get a little awkward, there's always boundaries on what you want to tell your mother (She never gets bedroom details), or how 'helpful' you want your mother to be (She tried to order me a vibrator from the internet. I told her I could pick one of those out myself, thank you very much!) But I will always be thankful that she never shied away from the tough issues, was always supportive of my decisions (as long as they were thought out and not rash), and taught me not to be ashamed of my sexuality as an independent woman.
I know, if I have children, I am going to make sure I've done (almost) everything for them that my mother has done for me. I experienced much less awkward teenage years because of it, and learned how to take care of myself before I was off on my own.
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Thursday 25 March
By iluvsex
My step mom and I have a very open sex life, she has taught me everything I could ever know and we're really honest with each other! in fact i dont get to see her very often any more but when we do its almost like a big make out sesion! I remember our first sexual experience, I was 16 and i slept with her because we got home from the movies to late so i just went to her bed not a big deal right.......WRONG! we kissed each other good night, just a little inocent peck on the lips, then another and then another, before i knew what had even happend we were full on making out! so after 3 nights of just exploring and kissing she moved real close to me kissed me told me not to move and then gave me the night of my life!! i swear to god I saw stars! she didnt do anything wrong she just used a finger, didnt even touch my skin but she gave me my first orgasm that night, I havent seen her all that much since she lives out of state but i'll never forget that night!
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