What's your type? Tall, dark and handsome, with a good sense of humor? Yeah, right.

According to a new poll, women may say that's what they want, but what they really get hot for is a slightly chunky, hairy guy with a propensity to cry during movies. Or so 2,500 women told one polling firm.

The data collected by onepoll.com found that "a little stubble" is women's number one turn-on, followed by a "geeky" personality and a hairy chest. (Gray hair and crying during movies were also among the secret peccadilloes.) Women also admitted to preferring a dude who is soft and cuddly versus one who is totally ripped.

Of course, the "overweight bearded guy," like totally dreamy Zach Galifianakis above, isn't our only secret type -- in fact, once we polled the office, a whole new (who knew!?) list emerged.

Turns out we all had at least one Secret Type -- and this exhaustive list serves as proof that nobody is ever going to decode what women want.

Read it and weep, then please share your own shame-types in the comments.

(And, when you're done, head on over to our brother site, Asylum, to read up on whom guys really lust after. Hint: No matter what they may say, It's not Megan Fox.)

1. The Woody Allen Type
"Where does a 130-lb. guy with crippling sex issues and Crohn's disease sleep? If we're talking about my apartment, anywhere he likes."

2. Small Skinny Spanish Hipsters
"For a while my type was very small, thin Spaniards like Gael Garcia Bernal. I even tried to do a 'Dirty Dancing' lift with one of them."

3. The Nerdy Black Guy
"Look, I don't see colors. I just see people. But if you put a black man in horn-rimmed glasses, I will see hearts, stars and unicorns. Take me to Cookie Mountain, baby, and don't look back."

4. Robert Pattinson Clones

"These slim British guys who look anemic. They seem moody and romantic, and just one cold look from one will calm me down."

5. "The Situation"

"I love his bitchy little personality. I think it's cute. I don't like cologne, but I am into guys who shave their chests."

6. The Long-Haired Rocker Dude

"A Chris Cornell or Eddie Vedder type who wears skinnier jeans than I could ever fit into and has better hair than I ever could. The type who still cuts off the sleeves of his black Levis denim jacket and studs it himself. I dated this guy for five years."
7. The Slightly-Smarmy Middle Eastern Guy

"There's something about the swarthy skin and super-forward come-on that gets me. Like a character out of 'Don't Mess With the Zohan.' My hot Israeli yoga teacher. Or the requisite flirty guy at every falafel shop. I even took Arabic lessons."

8. The Fey Guy

"Seeing Rhett Miller turns me into a blushing, ridiculous schoolgirl. My friend calls him the mayor of DILF-adelphia. See also Matthew Gray Gubler; Johnny Weir. (Yes, I realize he's gay.)"

9. White Guys in Grey Shirts and Cargo Shorts

"Irresistible. Once my friend and I were biking and saw this capsized boat being rescued by another boat. The guy on deck was wearing My Preferred Outfit. I went so far as to call my friend in the Coast Guard to find out who was on board. See also: The guy who played Jake in 'Avatar'; any guy in a bar in Wisconsin."

10. The Chubby Latino in Any Uniform a Member of the Village People Would Wear

"Hi, I'm the worst person in the world, and I have a thing for chunky Latino cops, firefighters, and construction workers. I blame growing up in a very white area of the midwest. And Oliver Stone."

11. Any Dude in a "Fit"
"Phat Farm, Rockawear, Ecko. Black, White, Hispanic. If the stitching on their jeans matches the logo on their t-shirt, which is the same color as the underside of the brim on their hat, and it all goes with their shoes kicks ... Mmmmmmm. "

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