Lemondrop

Do you reach for the check on the first date? Or secretly like him a little bit more if he does? Turns out there are many nuanced facets to the silent negotiations that go on between men and women when it comes to money.

After we interviewed Hilary Black, author of the anthology "The Secret Currency of Love: The Unabashed Truth About Women, Money, and Relationships," you jumped in with stories of how money has caused trouble for you, from the first date all the way through to marriage and baby carriages.

One question that came up again and again: Do men and women actually want financial equality in a relationship -- or is that just what we think we want?

As E puts it: "As a 28-year-old female in 2010, I always reach for the bill and offer to pay. However, if he pays, it places him as a provider and that's extremely attractive. The more I see him as a strong provider, my willingness to have sex with him increases. I don't do it on purpose -- that's just my natural reaction. Does this make me a gold-digger or a person responding to a natural instinct?"

And those aren't the only million-dollar questions you asked.

Another issue: We're still encountering guys who can't handle the idea of a female breadwinner. Take Diana's experience:

"My ex and I worked hard together in the beginning, and we achieved many goals. Once I started to make significantly more money than him, even though he had all of the degrees and letters after his name, things started to fall apart. He got involved with his secretary, a needy, dictatorial and controlling woman. Needy was the key word -- he had money, she didn't -- and there was his so-called power."

Though plenty of guys argued that being the breadwinner was no bed of roses either. Jacob says his much higher salary is an ongoing source of conflict with his girlfriend:

"When we fight, she uses it against me, declaring that she has no control over any affairs of ours, and that I try to leverage money to solve issues that need love to solve. Quite frankly, I would rather she make a comparable amount of money, because I do think that our income discrepancy contributes to her insecurity and fear of loss of control."

And further down the line, will we be relinquishing our "control" if we quit our jobs to become mothers? lhgraphics asks:

"What's wrong with expecting a man to support you if you are planning a family? My husband supported me and our two kids. It's called a division of labor. Where the problem lies is that we teach our children that their worth is based on dollars and cents instead of time and talent. Even though I didn't earn an income, I was essential to the harmony and happiness of our home. My 'job' was every bit as important as my husband's. But we've told a generation of women that keeping house is demeaning."

Maybe it's time for a frank discussion, just between women: If he picks up the check, does it make you hotter for him? Do you care if you make more -- or if he does? And would you consider giving up a career to be a full-time mom?

Provocative questions. No easy answers. Tell us what you think.