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How much sex do you have? And now, for a completely different question, do you think you're having enough sex? A recent survey asked women about things like sexual frequency and emotional states and found that anywhere from 28% to 38% of women ages 35 and up report that they "never" have sex.
What? COULD "COUGARTOWN" HAVE LIED TO US!?
What's keeping them from the Doing of the It? Researchers say: expectations. They deduced that women are struggling with unrealistic portrayals of sex in movies, TV, and women's magazines; expectations that we should come home from a long day at work and feel like having wild steamy sex, that "normal" people are having tons of sex all the time, or that guys want sex all the time, no matter what. Then this happens: expectation to do a thing --> natural passion to do that thing dwindling --> resentment that you have to do that thing --> guilt --> repeat.
Maybe what we should really be working on is making sex just as much about us as we do about the people we're having it with. That way, when researchers call us to ask us about our sex lives, we can report on the quality, not the quantity.
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Wednesday 17 February
By my opinion
I completely diagree with this... I am 38 years old ... my man is 30 and we have sex at least 3 times a week .... I truly hope that sex is always part of our relationship!!!!!
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Thursday 18 February
By Staci
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Wednesday 17 February
By scammedbyawoman
Age 35, or any age for that matter, is not the deciding factor on when women quit having sex. I have many divorced friends and we have all talked about this subject many times over beer after our sports leagues. Here is a summary of what lots of men think on this subject. For unmarried women, they will have sex at any age if they think it will possibly kick-start a new long term relationship, and they will continue sex in that new relationship as long as they wish to continue the relationship.
For married women, the need to have sex for the purpose of "relationship-maintenance" ends as soon as the "I do's" are over. Many women quit having sex about a year or two after their wedding because the novelty has worn off. Many women quit having sex after they have had the last baby they want because they feel that as a married person procreation should be the ONLY reason for it. Many women quit having sex when they hit menopause because they say it is physically uncomfortable. And finally, many women quit having sex when they gain a lot of weight, because it makes them suffer body image anxiety such that they are embarrassed to get naked with a man, even their husband. So forget trying to pinpoint it to an age. It is related to the factors mentioned above.
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Thursday 18 February
By Cathy
That's absolutely correct!!!
Thursday 18 February
By Cathy
One more thing that you implied but didn't say is that an awful lot of women just don't like sex. They can't admit it but, they don't. And, for the reasons you listed, they do it....just because they have to. Once they don't, it's over.
Thursday 18 February
By athame
i am a woman and i have NO idea what you are talking about!
maybe women stop wanting to have sex when the relationship has deteriorated to the point that they can no longer become sexually aroused by their husband
but that doesnt mean that women dislike sex
Thursday 18 February
By lori
Many women quit having sex because they get nothing out of it!
Thursday 18 February
By Joe
We aren't that stupid. Thanks. Women stop having sex because they have emasculated their men. They remove their spines to the point men are no longer interested. You are right though.. age doesn't matter.
Thursday 18 February
By KMC528
My sex life fell off at about age 35. I was the same weight as when I got married and there were no children involved -- except the one I was married to. He wanted to take a very expensive risk, I refused to pay for it, and he retaliated by cutting me off. When I realized that I was reduced to demeaning begging and still was unlikely to get what I wanted because he hadn't gotten the money he wanted, I divorced him.
Thursday 18 February
By take your time
Maybe you and your enlightened friends need to have another conversation. It goes a little like this. After I got married, I felt I didn't need to give sex my all. No more fore-play, etc. It is a fact it takes women longer to get aroused and achive orgasm, and when the man we marry decides he no longer has to take the time to make sure we are enjoying ourselves as well as himself, resentment sets in. So, it is not so much that women don't like sex, but if you're not getting any pleasure from it anymore due to lack of your partner trying, what is the point. Why should a woman try to please someone that isn't trying to please her?
Thursday 18 February
By Erin
Wow, and what? Men never lose the desire to have sex? My husband is ten years my senior and he has much less of a libido than I. Which is a common factor of men getting older, while many women peak around 30. It can be just as hurtful and upsetting for a woman to get turned down by her spouse as it is a man.
And no, I'm not fat, nor do I have a poor body image. I love my husband and we have a fantastic marriage. But the fact of the matter is I'm horny more often than he is.
Scammedbyawoman, just becuase you have had crappy women don't blame the whole gender. That just makes you appear small-minded and makes one wonder if that attitude crossed into your relationship. Which could then make one wonder...Did you deserve to get scammed? If you have always looked down on women as you so obviously do now, just how innocent in your own problems could you really be?
Thursday 18 February
By johnadamas
That is an ignorant and just a very incorrect message you are preaching. Possibly you are not capable to please a woman sexually, or you have not educated yourself either through experience, literature, or ASKING women how to please them. I wish you better luck, maybe I am just lucky, as I enjoy please women and apparently I am either very good, or it really just takes a little bit of effort, or a mix of the two. Either way your sex life (prostitutes maybe are your best bet), I will enjoy mine!
Friday 26 February
By Diane!
Wow, you are right! I'm an older woman and have heard it all from my friends. If a man wants a woman who continues to have sex after marriage, then marry a woman who isn't selfish. Marry a woman who regularly thinks about the needs and desires of others. I have found that my friends who are sincere Christians are like this. Interesting, but true. Anyway, an unselfish woman will focus on her man's needs whether it's in the bedroom, the kitchen or the bank account. Too many men rank a woman's job, her interest in sports and other traits as most important. Look at her heart and integrity! Then you'll be happy.
Thursday 18 February
By Don
I learned that women use sex as a tool for controlling a relationship - a reward for what they deem "good behavior" and withholding for any reason that they want. My second marrage, which began as practically a two-person orgy, finally ended when all control of our sex life had been turned over to my wife and she doled out sex at the rate of once, maybe twice, a month. It led to massive frustration and finally ED - I got to the point where I couldn't perform with her.
Thursday 18 February
By crapblaster
You and your buddies HAVE to be kidding me....TWO years after marrying my husband he started saying "he was too tired", "too stressed out", "too much junk from work on his mind", blah blah blah...which he NEVER did...until, of course he got me pregnant. His need to procreate was sated and then at the ripe old age of 35...he was done. No...he's not gay. No, he's not having an affair. He just doesn't want to have sex. Don't sit there and say women use it to promote a relationship, because that is a broad (no pun intended) and inaccurate generalization. Perhaps you and your buddies just suck in bed. It would seem to me that the only constant in your failed relationships would be you. I didn't let myself go because I was pregnant. I am in better shape now than I have ever been. I get carded for drinks constantly and have had multiple younger men offer to "assist" me....but the simple fact is....I am married. And until I am not....I am monogamous. Happily married? All in all...yes. I have a nice home, a nice car, bills are all paid and I don't really want for anything...except that being treated like a human being part. Let's face it...sex is NOT why you get married. It's nice to have...but not life threatening if you don't. I have gotten sick of asking and being rejected...so I have stopped asking. Marriage is a business agreement. If you think that 10 years after you get married it's going to be the same as when you start dating...you are entirely too immature to even consider getting married. However, don't act like you are the poor victim of some evil, scheming woman either. It can't ALWAYS be their fault.
Thursday 18 February
By getreal13
I agree with every thing that you said especially the part about women having sex if they think it's going to kick start a relationship.
Thursday 18 February
By wendylyn
While I agree many women follow the tradition that you listed; I differ in many aspects. Sex is a joy in my relationship. My husband and I have been together since high school and I still find myself "craving" him and acting on those cravings several times a week. Perhaps I am one of the rare ones, who knows?
Thursday 18 February
By Kitten
Sounds like you have a lot of pent up anger against women. You failed to mention that the man is a huge factor as to whether or not a woman wants to have sex or not. You act as if a woman has a switch she and flip on and off in order to want to have sex with someone!!
Let's face facts. If a woman is in loving relationship and has open line of communication with her man, there should never be a problem with sex. There are circumstances where health issues effect the relationship, but that can be on either side, i.e. Erectile Dysfunction. If the couple are able to talk about the issues, they can still have a very loving and intimate relationship.
So, pay attention GUYS, if it's your character to go out with the guys, ignore your woman unless you want sex, treat your woman with disrespect and unkindness, YOU can forget about sex with her. Once you find a new girl and she realizes you're a total sh**, guess what, she'll do the same. YOU have to figure out that women need someone not a Neanderthal, so grow up and be a man.
Friday 19 February
By scsmit1
All of what you say is totally accurate; I have experienced all of this with my current wife. Then let me add that I think its a lot of self induced, unnecessary bullshit.
If the man you're with loves you and desires you, why not accept that and feel good about it?? For that matter, women seem to be way too wrapped up in the onus of sex and forbid themselves the carnal pleasure. I think a woman deserves a good "honking" and orgasm as a reward at the end of a long day. It is after supposed to be pleasurable. Too many womens libbers (closeted lesbians) have ruined sex with charges that women are subordinating themselves to pleasuring men.
The FACT is, women should be concentrating on pleasuring themselves and we men are just happy to be there when it happens.
Thursday 18 February
By RUBY
I agree with this 100% as I am undergoing the issue of menopause. I sleep seperately as my husband snores alot and I have become a very sensitive sleeper. People think sex is everything in marriage, but it becomes stale after sometime.