28 Comments   
Here it comes! Another Couples' Holiday. Single women usually dread them, of course, but a lot of couples I know choose not to celebrate Valentine's Day. It's the same as New Year's Eve -- what do you do? Where do you go? What do you get? There's just too much pressure. The fact is, the choice is yours whether or not you do the whole flowers-chocolate-dinner-and-tender-sex-making routine.

So why do I wish someone would take the damn day off the calendar? Maybe I'm a cynic. Maybe I'm cold and jaded. Maybe there's something wrong with me. But honestly? I think I'm the sane one here. Here's why ...

All My Single Ladies
Let's start with the obvious. Whether you're 6 or 96, if you don't have a valentine, you feel it acutely. It's a holiday that excludes so many and makes a lot of people feel bad and left out. Sure, for some of us it's an excuse to act bitter and eat ice cream, but there are actually hurt feelings on this stupid, stupid day.

Relegating Love to One Day a Year
No, I don't! I'm deeply and passionately in love with my adorably sweet and talented boyfriend. Perhaps it's my independent spirit, but I don't need to be reminded by the local news to celebrate our love. We do it every day with every hug, every kiss and every tender touch. If you need a holiday to get flowers or candy for your girl or guy, or to take your lover to dinner, then you need to do some serious soul searching.

The Ugly Truth
The whole thing is TACKY. I hate the pink and red sh**. It's ugly! Stuffed animals holding big red hearts, Mylar balloon bouquets, those shitty pink panties with silly hearts and slogans on them that peel off and crack in the dryer. Landfills are already full of this crap at this point. Save the planet by not buying cheap ugly Valentine's Day crap that you're just going to throw away.

Hallmark Won't Get You Laid
A card has never gotten anyone laid EVER. It's a fact. They're a waste of paper and money and have sentiments written by someone else. Save the planet, send a dirty, filthy, raunchy, mind-blowing, boner-inducing sext instead. Now THAT'S something we can work with ... and WILL, in fact, get you laid.

Step Away From the Chocolates
Oh good, the winter holidays are over. Guess we need another excuse to eat candy and cupcakes at the office! Come on. We're a nation of fatties. I don't need a huge, ugly box of heart-shaped chocolates ruining my diet for a week. You know half of the chocolates in that box are just gross. (Lemon creme? Nobody likes lemon creme!) I just don't want it. Again, I'd go for the dirty sext.

Everybody Loves Flowers
But what about the flowers you ask? Look, my boyfriend gets me flowers on occasion. For no reason at all -- and that's the best way to get them. It means so much more when I come home from a long day and there are just some beautiful flowers sitting on the dining room table. Just because. If this is the ONLY day of the year you bring flowers to your sweetheart, you are lame. End of story.

Kitchen Nightmares
Restaurants on Valentine's Day are packed with couples eating expensive dinners they can't really afford and probably don't want to pay for anyway. If you have a job, it's a total chore to come home, get dressed up and go to dinner. If you're unemployed, you can't afford it. My boyfriend and I eat together every day, the last thing we want to do is go to a crowded restaurant and overpay for some silly candlelit prix fixe. Again, this holiday is completely centered around getting you to spend money. We're a broke nation! Who needs it?

Look, Valentine's Day just doesn't make sense -- especially during a recession. Not to mention love is not about cheaply manufactured pink and red stuff. It's not about chocolate or balloons, slutty panties or even flowers (though flowers are always nice). It's really just a holiday manufactured by greeting-card companies, candy vendors and restaurants to separate you and your lover from your money. If you have someone you love in your life, celebrate that person every day, and let's do away with this silly holiday.

CJ Arabia is a blogger, crafter and regular contributor. Her first-person blog runs Fridays on Lemondrop.