Terri Carlson has been proposed to well over 1,000 times this week. The 45-year-old divorced mother from California has taken her search for a husband worldwide via YouTube, and while she says she is looking for love, there's something she's looking for even more: health insurance.
"I don't care what you look like. But what I do care about is how good your health insurance is. So, you want me to respond to you? Attach your health-care benefit information," she practically purrs into the Web cam.
Below the video, a line of comments continues to grow: "I sent you a message an hour ago on a different video, but let me add, with military insurance, as long as we use a military doctor, it's free and it's for life. I offer this to you. Contact me!"
"I am not a drinker, and I don't smoke or ever hit a woman. I don't argue, I am 55, decent-looking and financially responsible," says one potential husband.
Another reply simply states, "Give Canada a shot."
The attention is flattering, but Carlson also knows that the flirting could save her life.
Tired of waiting for health-care reform that she no longer believes is coming, last week she launched Will Marry for Health Insurance, a Web site on which she lays herself, and her problems, out for all the world to see. Ever since, the media has flocked.
But is she a savvy victim, a poster woman for the uninsured masses? Or maybe even a reality TV star in the making? After the jump, Lemondrop's exclusive interview with the embattled mom.
First, what exactly is ailing her? Carlson has a rare genetic disorder called C4 Complement Deficiency -- an autoimmune disease that prevents her body from being able to fight off infection. "I'll get over a virus, but I have all of these antibodies that won't clear out of my body," she told Lemondrop. "My body thinks there is still an infection even though there's not and attacks itself."
Carlson's doctors keep her on steroids to keep inflammation down, and antibiotics to treat the immune suppression side effects of the steroids. On a good day, she's only taking 10 different prescriptions. On a bad day, it could be 20.
After her divorce, Carlson, who was a stay-at-home mother to four children for 24 years, discovered that while she was eligible for government assistance programs like Social Security, she didn't have the 10 or so years in the workforce required to be supported.
LD: So tell us a little bit about your hunt for health coverage.

Terri Carlson: Well, it really started a week ago this past Sunday when (Scott) Brown was elected to the Senate. On Christmas Eve, I was crying because they passed the health-care bill. I was so hopeful. I thought, "This is great. I'm going to have health coverage."
My COBRA runs out in May 2011. I was so excited because I have a life-long illness, and I have all of this genetic testing that they use as a scarlet letter to un-insure me. But when Brown was elected by Massachusetts, there was an article in the newspaper that said the health-care reform bill was on life support, and I thought, Oh my God. What's going to happen to me in a year?
Right now as it is, 90 percent of what I make just goes to pay my health care. Luckily I have my house, but if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to pay everything. I have a small savings left over from my divorce, but once that's over, I don't know what I'm going to do.
Are you not eligible for health care through your job?
This is what's ironic. I worked really hard to get a job with an organization -- I told them that I wouldn't mention the name -- that hires people with disabilities to work from home. So I have this job where I'm able to be productive and make money where I normally wouldn't, but everybody who works for the company is disabled and they can't get health care because the insurance company says, "Everybody who works for you is disabled. We're going to charge you a fortune to keep all of these disabled people on your policy."
It's infuriating, but here's the other thing that kind of ticks me off: All of the able-bodied workers who run the office, the healthy people, all have health care through the company. I feel so discriminated against. You can offer health care to them, but you can't offer health care to me? I was informed that they had something called a HIPAA, where you could go, and it's this new law where the insurance company has to keep you, but you know what they want? They want $1,200 a month. I only bring home $800 a month. And that's without food, shelter, anything. I would be in the hole almost $400 a month.
I'm literally the one who's caught in the middle. I work my ass off every day. I pay my taxes. And it came last Sunday where I'm just like, "What am I going to do?" I was in the hospital the day before yesterday. I got back from New York, collapsed and had a seizure. People don't understand. I look pretty good, but I suffer every day.
Where did the idea for the site and the YouTube videos come from?
This literally came out of my desperation. They're not going to pass health-care reform, so what are my options? Friends and I were joking, and one friend said, "Well, you could always marry some guy who has a good policy." And I thought, You know what. That's crazy. That's unbelievable, but it's my only option. It truly is my only option.
The first video came a week ago Sunday. I told a friend that I was going to do a video and post it on YouTube. She thought it was so funny. I had never done a video before. I'm just a mom. But I set it up and I did it. I did a serious one, a little woe-is-me -- asking for suggestions. Well, nobody clicked on it. My girlfriend said that it was because I needed to be sillier. She said they don't watch anything unless it's outrageous. So then I started to be more flirtatious. I tried to be more humorous, and then people started hitting on it. They started saying, "Oh my gosh, you need to do another one."
Then a friend suggested that I get the Web site that says Will Marry for Health Insurance. I went to GoDaddy.com, paid $1.99 for a year for the name and paid $5 for the site. So for $7 and a YouTube video, all of this happened.
How many responses have you had?
By the time I had my first interview with the media, I had 100 proposals. As of yesterday, I had 7,000 messages in my inbox from around the world. Half of those are probably proposals, and the other half are from suffering people. People just like me. They have the most heartbreaking stories. They're saying things like, "You're a voice for us," and "Please help us." It just breaks my heart.
I've also just got a contract where they want to do a reality series where they follow me as I go dates with these guys who've written in to my Web site. I'm looking at it right now. It's for a production company that produces it and then sells it to the network.
Are you thinking about doing it?
I really don't know. All I really wanted out of this was to just have health insurance or to be able to buy health insurance. My goal isn't to make any money, and I'm not sure I could do it with my health. I'm not making any decisions now.
You got so many actual propositions from men who have seen the videos, will you live up to your tag line? Will you marry someone for health insurance?
Before this idea came up, I was already looking for love. I was already on Match.com. When you're filling out something for a dating Web site you say that you want brown hair or blue eyes. I don't think that asking that someone have good health insurance is any different than asking for someone to be a certain religion. I think it's additional criteria. I think that out of all of these thousands of emails, I can have good health insurance and love at the same time. But I do know this: I wouldn't marry anyone without good health insurance. There's no way. I can't. But yes, I plan to be married within the next year.
Logistically speaking, how are you going to meet all of these men?
I've been so overwhelmed with all of the responses, but I'm going to go through every one and respond to everyone as best I can. It might take me a while, but I'm going to do that as soon as everything calms down a little bit. A lot of my proposals are from Massachusetts where they have universal care and a large portion are from Canada. People from Canada are really freaked out by this. This concept to people in Canada, it's surreal.
I mean how is it possible that I live in the wealthiest country in the world and can't get health insurance? One of the things I put in one of my videos -- and it's so true -- at one point I seriously thought about selling all of my assets, giving them to my children and going and robbing a bank. Because then I could go to jail and I could get three meals a day for free, I could work out and I could get health care.
I have a problem with the fact that I'm someone who works hard every day, and yet someone who is a drain on society and commits a crime can get better health care than me. I'm a hard-working person who's never had a speeding ticket. That just shows how screwed up our system is. This whole thing came out of my frustration and what I needed, but I realize that there are just so many other people right there with me.
So what do your friends and family think?
The people who have been friends of mine for a long time have sat with me as I've been in the hospital. They've seen me struggle and they've been worried. I mean, I almost died last year. In the hospital, I wrote President Obama. I wrote my local congressmen and senators, and they didn't even respond at all. Now all of a sudden I'm in the media, and I get messages on my phone saying, "Oh, we want to help." Well, no one wanted to help me a year ago when I was begging. It irritates me, but my friends are all proud of me. My children are proud of me. I have so much support.
What would you tell Congress or the president if you could have a conversation with them?
It would be simple: While you are all fighting between the Senate and the House and bickering, people like me are suffering and dying. While they're fighting, we're the ones suffering. I feel like the Republicans now are just trying to say no to everything instead of trying to make a point to pass the thing that they all agree upon, which is the pre-existing conditions clause. They're being stubborn children. People are suffering while they're taking their time.
The fact that you may need to depend on a spouse to survive feels like a throwback to Jane Austen. How does it feel to be a woman in the 21st century who may need to rely on a man to make it?
Well, I would say this: Wouldn't an illegal immigrant marry an American to have U.S. citizenship? It makes them dependent, but they're willing to do it so that they can come to our country. I don't think it's that different. I don't think it's prehistoric. It's not like an arranged marriage. I have a choice. I'm not just selling myself out to the first person who has health insurance. I have choices, but believe me, people have done a lot worse for a lot less.
Tell us: Would you marry for health care -- or what would you do if you were in Carlson's place?
More Good Stuff on the Web:
5 reasons why living alone rules (Lemondrop)
Who's your old man crush? Come on. Don't even front with us. (Lemondrop)
Can you date somebody whose English is... eh... not so good? (The Frisky)
The Gay Guy Who Made Me Believe in Love (Lemondrop)
The best snowball fight, ever? (FailBlog)












Comments:
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Tuesday 09 February
By susansdjewel
It is a shame that this woman has been put in such a situation to have to resort to this desperate measure. For those of you who are so critical of her actions, why don't you come up with a solution for her? She NEEDS health care and cannot afford it - like millions of Americans. Her plight, and what she has been forced to do to get insurance, should be blasted in every congressional building across the country! She should be the poster woman for health care reform.
Frankly, I think EVERY person who does not have health care and is capable of doing this should. Marriage for convenience is NOT a new thing. It is our government that is forcing people to make such absurd decisions.
Tuesday 09 February
By old guy
I thought apple picking was the odest proffesion?
Tuesday 09 February
By rayray
Were is the father of the childeren in all this maybe he should have stade with her legaly so his childeren would have there mother.
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Tuesday 09 February
By The Sexy Family
First of all Rayray, before you go putting your 2 cents in learn how to read & write correctly. We don't know why she divorced nor is it our business & the CHILDREN are obviously grown & also have THEIR mother. Do you think this lady or anyone else in this situation way back when could have predicted this in the future. Yeah, that would be a great reason for her to stay (it's not stade)with her husband, I mean seriously think about it....I'm gonna stay with someone who beats me or cheated on me because I may need their health insurance 15 or 20 years down the road. You're an idiot!!!
Tuesday 09 February
By elmer
Here's an idea............Get a JOB!!!!!! Why does everyone think they are owed something in this country. I have health insurance that I pay for every month so why shouldn't she!
LAZY ASS!
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Tuesday 09 February
By LaNae
elmer, Did you even read the article? She does not think anything is owed to her. She is disabled. And while many lazy ass people claim to be disabled, don't work, and try to get on government assistance, this woman HAS a job, working at home for a company that employs disabled people who WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO WORK OTHERWISE. She is not a lazy ass, far from it. She worked hard to get that job and they WON'T INSURE HER because she is disabled. Please read the article next time before you make yourself sound like an idiot with your assinine comments.
Tuesday 09 February
By rose ann triplett
shed has a job! you need to get an education because you obviously can't read and comprehend or retain what you have read!
Tuesday 09 February
By curlygirl71
If you read the whole article, it states she does have a job that employs disabled people, but the company can not afford to cover insurance for them. If she wanted to buy insurance on her own, it would be more than her current salary per month. Did you ever think that because of her illness, she can only do so many types of jobs? Obviously she is making an effort.
Tuesday 09 February
By Lisa
She does have a job. One with a company who allows her to work from home because she has a serious illness. Seizures are not something to be overlooked - they are truly debilitating.
Tuesday 09 February
By cyaml
what about me? i'm married though but i need health insurance desperately.
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Tuesday 09 February
By Stormy
My only thing.... If you marry a military member be very careful about the doctors. If you keep having a problem and they just write you off go see another doctor. Yes you may have to pay for it but at least you can find out what is causing you pain. A friend of mine went to the military doctors several times complaining about a sever headach. They gave her tylenol told her to drink more water and rest. She saw another doctor about her headaches and found out that she has a brain tumor. I was in the military before I was a dependant and the doctors told me not only once but twice that I could not get pregnant. The first time they told me that I was already a week pregnant. After my son they told me again that he was a miracle and I wont be able to get pregnant again and a year later I had my daughter. So just be careful. You know your own body better then any doctor. If there is a problem they keep writting off see someone else.
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Tuesday 09 February
By Ann
Your experience with military doctors sounds just about right. Unfortunately, that's exactly what everyone will have to deal with when this country changes over to socialized healthcare. You won't have a choice but to see doctors who are overworked, underpaid and really don't care one bit about what is really wrong with you. Take two Tylenol and hope it helps.
Tuesday 09 February
By Mary
You are correct about the military doctors, most of them are at best "average", but there are many excellent doctors out there, in private practice, who work more than most people and are extremely dedicated and care about the well fare of their patients! Don't categorize all doctors as bad, that could be said for every field in life in that case. I give thanks to the dedicated underpaid overworked doctors, without them we would be dying younger, losing limbs, organs and so much more. THANK YOY DOCTORS - unselfish people that you are!
Tuesday 09 February
By USAmerica1st
I sympathize with her plight, but this is not the way to go about it. Find better health insurance options rather than pulling some desperate guy into a loveless relationship that will benefit her most. And how long will it be before she divorces the poor slob and keeps his health insurance. The insurance companies will be waiting for her to pop on their rosters, so they can deny her coverage. Another reason that more marriages are crashing and burning. This is cold, immoral, and probably illegal.
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Tuesday 09 February
By Thomas Sawyer
I'm in the same position I have done everything right in my life according to the rules last year I got sick and subsequently lost my job of 16 years my cobra runs out in Aug and I have no hope of getting ins all of my savings my house and 401k will be drained and I'll be destitute and be forced into medicare wich is ironic because the people against reform will be supporting me if there was an affordable option for me I would be able to manage and not be a burden on society but alas the Republicans seem to be intent on stoping this bill no mater what just to make a point why can't we start a movement to help the people in America understand our plights and get this bill passed.We live in the greatest country in the world yet we can not take on the plight of our own people WHY.Maybe if the people who were against reform lost thier ins they would sing a diffrent song all I know is something must be done to help us out.So are people going to elect all republicans just on the fact they are going to be against the reform bill and not what they stand on ?I on the brink!!!
Tuesday 09 February
By kate
marriage for financial benefit was the norm up until only a few decades ago. read some history. i wouldn't do this, but at the same time, i don't blame her
Tuesday 09 February
By richard
this is the most ridiculous thing i have ever seen! lady how could you do this? it makes me sick and all you guys out there are crazy as hell! this is WRONG PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!! she is wrong and all the rest of you that thinks this is ok!!! move to louisiana woman and goto a charity!!!!!!! damn!!!!!!!!!
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Tuesday 09 February
By Bunny
I applaud this lady...and yes, I would do the same but with much caution. I have been without insurance in my time and now do have medicare/medicaid but it's not the best and a lot of doctors still won't take it. She has to beware because she may marry someone who has the right insurance and then after awhile he may only have been in it for a thrill ride and mistreat her or want to divorce her, etc...and then she's back to square one again. You really have to know who you are marrying and also like one reader here posted...who's to say that his insurance still won't cover her because it's a preexiting condition before she was on it? How many of them cover preexiting conditions? Not many. Ah...I wish her the best.
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Tuesday 09 February
By tracey
I agree with your comment Bunny, last year i was diagnosed with Cancer and lost everything. I am now living with my ex husband to survive and im lucky it worked out that way. You never know who you are dating or marrying and i give this woman a lot of credit to do this. I must agree i have thought about doing the same thing the only difference is most men do not want a woman who has one breast since sex is a huge issue for them. The mental abuse i endure is sometimes unbearable but i have my son to think of and knowing i can be here and still be a mom to him makes it worthwhile. the bottom line is you really never know what type of situation you will be in and what you will be willing to do for you and your kids.
Tuesday 09 February
By jim
maybe she should move to canada, dont they have free health care for all there citizens.
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