I'll never understand women who don't watch football. Don't get me wrong, I can understand if a girl doesn't get into competition or doesn't understand the game. However, none of these are excuses for not watching the NFL, which mainly consists of a bunch of muscle-bound, incredibly macho guys running around in skin-tight pants. What's not to like?!
There are plenty of reasons for women to watch Sunday's Super Bowl, and here are 10 of the (need an 11th? Try this drinking game
). After all, I like to see good execution of a nickel defense as much as the next girl, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the obvious.
With that in mind, I give you the 10 top tushes in professional football:
10. Reggie Bush, New Orleans Saints
Though he's known for dating the most famous butt on the planet
, Reggie has a little junk in the trunk himself. This season he averaged a more-than-respectable 5.6 yards per carry, with an especially strong week against Arizona in the division championship two weeks ago (5 carries, 84 yards). He may not be the Saints' primary running back these days, but women everywhere celebrate whenever Reggie gets into the (back-) end zone.
9. Pierre Garcon, Indianapolis Colts
Reggie Bush won't be the only one with his, ahem, assets on display Super Bowl Sunday, as Pierre Garcon will be making the case that the best butt in the NFL resides in Indianapolis. With 5 touchdowns this season and a galactic 16.3 yards-per-carry average, I'm hopeful that Pierre and his boo-tay are going to be gracing the field for years to come.8. Peanut Tillman, Chicago Bears
I'd be remiss not to point out that my team, the Chicago Bears, is rather talented when it comes to the badonk-a-donk, and none more so than everyone's favorite cornerback (when he's not getting burned) Charles "Peanut" Tillman. During the seven years he's been in Chicago, Peanut's grown from an awkward rookie into one of the most respected corners in the game ... and there's more than one reason to respect him.
7. Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys
Look, I don't like the Cowboys. Or Tony Romo. But I gotta give credit where it's due. When not dating pop stars or picking itself up off the turf, Tony's better half (and I'm not talking about Jessica Simpson) helped him throw 28 touchdowns before the Cowboys were bounced from the playoffs. Tony, we hate to see you go, but we love
to watch you leave.
6. LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers
Like Tony Romo, LaDainian's time in the playoffs this year was briefer than many expected, but that doesn't mean he didn't leave us something to remember him by. In addition to his 12 touchdowns and 730 rushing yards this season, there was ... well ... THAT.
5. Troy Polamalu, Pittsburgh Steelers
Many a female football fan wept when Troy Polamalu suffered an injury early on in the 2009 season, and not just because we were going to miss his raven curls flying around as he put opposing players into body casts. In only five games last season, Troy and his buns of steel still managed 20 solo tackles and 3 interceptions. Now that's a fine come-from-behind behind.
4. Brodney Pool, Cleveland Browns
It's not like the Browns were known for their football skill in 2009, so any woman who tells you she admires Brodney Pool for his on-the-field abilities is a straight-up liar. Even so, I'm happy to report that Brodney managed 39 solo tackles and 4 interceptions this season, despite missing the last five games of the season because of injury -- and it pains me to see this butt get benched.
3. Derrick Mason, Baltimore Ravens
When most women think great asses
, they think offense
. There's something about the combination of speed and power that demands offensive players be in great shape in the gluteal region, and Baltimore's Derrick Mason is a prime example. Alas, with 7 touchdowns and over 1,000 yards in 2009, Derrick proved that he is more than just another pretty butt.
2. Tom Brady, New England Patriots
A series of injuries and poor play by the Patriots this season led many to speculate that Tom Brady may be getting ready to hang up his cleats, but it's apparent that his backside is in no danger of being sent into early retirement. Love him or hate him, you have to admire his gift -- on and off the field. And we're pretty sure with a dad like him, and a mom like Gisele, his newborn son Benjamin will be no slouch in the rear-view department either.
1. Miles Austin, Dallas Cowboys
There must be something in the water in Dallas, because the Cowboys were the only team to earn two spots in this illustrious lineup. Proving that quarterbacks aren't the only ones with skills, wide receiver Miles Austin, who had 12 touchdowns and over 1,000 yards in 2009, brings up the, um, rear.
(All Photos: Getty Images)
Julie DiCaro is a woman who can appreciate all sides of sports. Read her talk serious baseball shop about the Chicago Cubs at A League of Her Own, then go drool over the
finer side of professional sports at Designated Hotter.