Speed dating isn't a new concept for me. I've tried it once before, and it was a surprisingly painless experience. Hey, I even got a nice, legit second date out of it.But they'd always been relatively small, low-key deals where I'd meet 10 or 12 guys by the end of the night. Not so at the Find Your Luvah speed-dating event held over the weekend in Hoboken, N.J., which organizers hoped would break the world record for number of microdates.
I was one of 350 people simultaneously speed-dating, which made it the largest event of its kind in history. With so many people talking in one room and the potential to meet so many guys, I wasn't really nervous. I was, however, overwhelmed by the sheer number of people.
Purple Lab, the event's host, went all-out on this one -- before the event, there was plenty of swag, a buffet of finger foods and club music blasted through the speakers.
When it was go-time, we strolled into the large ballroom filled with long tables, numbers and bottles of Skinny Water. Steven Ward, matchmaker and host of VH1's "Tough Love," was on hand to host and sign copies of his book. (Steven's a good-looking guy. It was to many a female attendee's dismay that he opted not to participate in the speed dating itself. )
After registering and picking up a tag that re-named me the very sci-fi "G197," I made my way to the bar and tried the party's signature drink, which was a mix of vodka, a fruity liqueur called X-Rated Infusion and seltzer water, which actually didn't taste too bad.
It was time to get things started.
You really could see a wide variety of men and women in the crowd -- women dolled up in skin-tight dresses and stilettos stood alongside others who'd opted for the low-maintenance look with their jeans and sneakers. (I decided to go for an all-black ensemble -- skinny jeans, flowy top, blazer and studded, heeled boots.) The men ranged from preppy frat boys to your garden-variety "Jersey Shore" types. There were definitely more good-looking guys at this event, which made me a little bit more hopeful about snagging someone.Putting the Speed Into "Speed Dating"
Between the rush to get to seats and how close they were to one another, there were actually a few wipe-outs on the way to sit down. People who came in groups were annoyed by the fact that their wingpeople couldn't be next to them. With all the voices filling the ballroom, it made me worry, How the hell are we actually going to hear each other when we start talking?
Since there was still an excess of women (sadly), it looked like the guys would be going on more than the allotted 20 dates we were originally granted at the beginning of the evening. As I walked over to my seat, I was relieved to see that my "first date" hadn't arrived yet. Until I noticed a too-young-looking guy (I mean, I'm 24, but he looked like a high-schooler) walking over to the chair in front of me. He was adorable -- but in a Frosted Mini-Wheats–commercial way, wearing a suit that clearly was too big for him. He introduced himself, and we started our "date."
He breezed through rote questions like "How are you doing?", "What brought you here tonight?" and even asked me what I was doing after the event. Oddly enough, it wasn't as awkward as I thought. He turned out to be an engineer (he looked like jailbait, but he'd graduated from college in 2008) who came to the event with a friend. Most of our conversation was more guessing games and mindless banter, but he seemed like someone I could have fun with.
Unfortunately, I wish I could say the same for the rest of my dates. One guy who looked like he played football in high school talked so much about Christian rock music I felt like I was being converted. Another wouldn't stop fidgeting wildly and looked around the room for the entire three minutes we were forced to converse. There was another guy who admitted he wasn't looking for a girlfriend and had been dragged to the event because he knew some people working there. I pitied him -- being forced to date against your will is even worse than being on a bad date.
Despite going on what felt like 60 of the things (even though it was only 20), I never met anybody I clicked with more than my first: the baby engineer.
Speed Dating Aftermath
When the final siren sounded, I went to grab my coat so as to beat the rush out of this place. As I waited in lin
e for my jacket at the coat check, I bumped into him again. "Did you meet the man of your dreams?" he asked.
"No, did you?" I responded.
"Yes, I think I met the man of my dreams. But as far as the women, not sure, maybe," he answered.
He told me I was cool and mentioned that we should "pick" each other. (After you've dated all your potential mates, you're asked to log onto the Purple Lab Web site, where you write down the ID numbers of the top five guys or girls you'd want to go on a second date with. If they pick you, too, you'll be emailed their contact info.)
Earlier in the evening, I had the chance to talk to Steven Ward, the host, and I asked him for a little advice to share with the Lemondrop gals. Regarding girls making the first move he replied, "I admire that ... I appreciate that more than anything."
So I gave baby engineer my number. "You can just call me if you want to hang out ... or if you're ever in Hoboken," I boldly told him. He was slightly taken aback, but Steven was right -- he also seemed appreciative and handed over his phone so I could type in my digits.
It's been a few days since the speed-dating event now, and I have yet to hear from this guy. While I'm not necessarily parked by the phone, I am curious to see if he'll actually call. But I guess just like every first date -- even a three-minute one -- we just have to go with the flow and see what happens.
Emily Tan is a journalist and photographer based in New Jersey. She writes for Lemondrop and is adorable.More Good Stuff on the Web:
What's the Best Picture for Your Dating Profile? A Guy Gives Us His Take
Redacted Guy: The Gay Man Who Made Me Believe in Love
How to Get Over Your Ex
Burgers? Beer? This is a contest we can get behind. 











Comments:
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Wednesday 03 February
By Welp
The best trolls are passages of fact (or at least evidenced oppinion) wrapped within an inflammatory or discriminatory argument. Dave, you nailed it and these people took it hook line and sinker. At least some of them realised the brilliance of your post. Kudo's.
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Wednesday 03 February
By Kory
w0w! Has everyone forgotten about the inherent dignity of each individual? ... Sounds like a lot of you have it bass ackwards! Maybe try putting the desires of the other person first, eh? Consider what's best for them and find someone who understands they need to do the same for you. What's all this garbage about how young I can get 'em... Can you honestly put yourself in their position and desire someone in yours? It won't matter how young and pretty you get 'em when you realize your hiding from your self-hatred. The realization of your dignity is found in your recognition of the dignity of others.
If I weren't married, I might have eventually tried speed-dating. But, I agree with the observation of another poster--you're only developing first impressions. Maybe it could become fruitful... But I think you'd be better off meeting people while doing something that exposes who you truly are--and leaves you defenseless. That's a good start to finding honest compassion--and true happiness.
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Wednesday 03 February
By Kory
w0w! Has everyone forgotten about the inherent dignity of each individual? ... Sounds like a lot of you have it bass ackwards! Maybe try putting the desires of the other person first, eh? Consider what's best for them and find someone who understands they need to do the same for you. What's all this garbage about how young I can get 'em... Can you honestly put yourself in their position and desire someone in yours? It won't matter how young and pretty you get 'em when you realize your hiding from your self-hatred. The realization of your dignity is found in your recognition of the dignity of others.
If I weren't married, I might have eventually tried speed-dating. But, I agree with the observation of another poster--you're only developing first impressions. Maybe it could become fruitful... But I think you'd be better off meeting people while doing something that exposes who you truly are--and leaves you defenseless. That's a good start to finding honest compassion--and true happiness.
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Wednesday 03 February
By doug
well heres my pitch,....my name is doug i am 42 and just had major back surgery a year ago ,....i have 3 titanium rods implanted in my back,...i attend alot of rock concerts,..(i get great seats because i am permenently disabled),..i enjoy being,funny,silly ,...have a great sense of humor i am told ,...i live in a house owned by my mom(she has two housesand does not live with me),....i am permenently disabled,...i don't smoke,......maybe once in a while i have a few beers but not often enough.i definitely do not get out enough and when i do i find it hard to meet women my age (probabaly not going to the right places LOL )and unlike alot of the guys my age i am looking to meet women older than me or my own age because most of the younger ones want even YOUNGER guys even though they know its gonna be a wham bamm thank ya mamm LOL . SO ladies if this ll appeals to you (and i cannot see why a disabled broken back concert going CHILD would not appeal to ANYONE LOL then feel free to have your people call my people and WE"LL DO LUNCH LOL theman633@aol.com thanks and TAKE CARE
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Wednesday 03 February
By Ivana
Geeze Walter...been rejected one too many times?
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Wednesday 03 February
By Wayne Huber
Women live longer than men but age sooner. This is an objective fact because their facial skin is thinner and their bodies are softer. A wise woman will pick a man between seven and ten years her senior.
Unfortunately, serial divorcee Kat doesn't understand that and is learning the hard way.
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Wednesday 03 February
By dougie
hey ladies i'm 42,.... i just had major back surgery,...i'm permenently disabled,...i live in my moms house (not together she has 2 houses) i attend rock concerts regularly(i get great seats due to my handicap status ) i live at the jesrey shore,....i have been told i am verry funny,..silly ,.inteligent,.. i do not smoke ,drink or do drugs,.....once in a while i have a beer or glass of wine ,....i am 5'11" 239lbs and on the cookie diet and losing weight LOL ,....i don't get out as much as i should and when i do i never seem to be where women of my age hang out ,...always mostly younger women and i would much preferr to meet someone my age or older to be honest i have had enough of playing games for one lifetime to be honest,...SO if all this GOOD STUFF appeals to you ,........and i really hope my IN BOX can hold all the REPLIES I GET FROM THIS LOL then feel free to have your people call my people and WE"LL DO LUNCH LOL be well
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Wednesday 03 February
By HENRY MUNEVAR 781 891 0621
WWW.HENRYSBASEBALLCLUB.COM STILL SINGLE BUT LOOKING FOR A FEMALE. ALSO LOOKING FOR BASEBALL TALENT AGES 15 TO 25 ONLY. GET PAID TO PLAY BASEBALL. CLICK ON UTUBE ON MY SITE TO SEE MY CABLE SHOW.
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Wednesday 03 February
By bellaelena67
Speed dating seems like a good idea on the surface. You get a face to face for a few minutes, and don't have to spend an entire evening with you've already dismissed as unsuitable. Some people have a hard time approaching a new person, and at least that anxiety is taken away.
As for age, my husband is ten years older than I am. We've been married for 16 years. I was not looking for someone older, I just happened to fall in love with him. And he was a customer where I worked, and I asked him out.
I don't think age is as important as maturity. I've met older men with the mental age of a frat boy. Guys might like to try for younger women, but really...unless they are rich or famous, or find a chick with daddy issues, they're aren't likely to actually get one.
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Wednesday 03 February
By Magic
YOU PEOPLE ARE SOOOOO WRONG...LOL. AGE DOESN'T REALLY HAVE A LOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING, A SUCESSFUL MAN IN HIS 40-60. OOOOONLY MARRY A WOMAN THAT'S AS SUCESSFUL AS HE IS. THAT MEANS WOMEN GOLD DIGGERS. YOU MAY HAVE THE BODY, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE THE BRAINS...LOL YOU'RE NOTHING MORE THAN EYE CANDY TO THEM. THEY'LL LOOK, BUT WONT TOUCH.tHINK DIGGERS, THEY'RE RICH FOR A REASON, THEY SPENT THEIR ENTIRE LIFE MAKING BIG $$$. PROBABLY IN 6 DIGIT NUMBERS BY NOW. THEY STAY RICH BECAUSE, THEY DON'T PUT OUT FOR BIMBO WITH BOOBS, LIPS, & BUTTS. THAT'S LOOKING FOR A QUICK FIX, TO GET RICH...OFF THEIR EXPENSE...LMAO. YOU DIGGERS CAN'T SERIOUSLY BE THAT IGNORANT. & STUPID RIGHT? THEY MARRY THEIR OWN... RICH & SUCESSFUL. NOT SOME TRAMP OFF SKID ROW...LOL BE REALISTIC WITH YOURSELF FOR PETE'S SAKE...LMAO. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY BIMBO'S LIKE YOU APPROACH THEM ON A DAILY BASIS, THAT HAS THAT SAME BODY??? JUST LIKE HUGH HEFFNER. HE HAS NO INTENTIONS OF MARRYING THOSE TRAMPS. BUT HE'S HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE GETTING LAID, 1-ON-1, 3-SOMES , YOU NAME IT...LOL BUT THEY'LL NEVER GET ANY OF HIS MANSION, HIS KIDS WILL. THEN WHEN HE'S DONE, HE KICKS THEM TO THE CURB WITH NOTHING...LOL JUST LIKE HE WOULD DO TO AAAAANY DIGGERS... LMAO..
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Wednesday 03 February
By cherry
As a 50 year divorced women unfortunately there are lots of Dave's out there. What he says is true. I am dating men at least 5 to 10+ older than me. I rather not but that is what happens. I would like someone closer to my age but they want 10 or more years younger. Ladies this is the reality. I am pretty good looking and keep my body in shape and people tell me I look to be in my early 40's. Doesn't matter, it is is a numbers game. The men in this age range do not want committment and I found they are slow in other areas if you know what I mean. I am not giving up on finding another Mr right. Hope he is out there!!!!
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Wednesday 03 February
By dougie
i really have to disagree with you there are me out there that do not want 10 years younger than them as a rule,....i mean if i lik the person it really does not matter if hey are 20 years older than me or 20 years younger than me ,...maybe i am a rare breed i don't really know but its really all about are you willing to deal with the other persons CRAP lol thats what life is ALL ABOUT will YOU put up WITH MY CRAP LOL and ie versa of course and if you both can keep a great sense of humor while doing it is KEY also ,...ok why an i SINGLE i have NO idea HAHAHAH be well
Wednesday 03 February
By Wade Russell
You are right; Emily Tan is adorable. It's hard to be thrown into a fish tank experience and then order, "Okay, now everyone copulate!" Three minute dating is just a sign of the times; everyone with too little time, trying to force everyone to match up through an obvious bottleneck experience. Unfortunately, it takes a little longer (at least a few more minutes) to determine if you even have any chemistry between each other.
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Thursday 04 February
By Vicky
I LOVE the PurpleLab gals!!! So glad you went!
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Thursday 04 February
By sambakat
I am a 44 year old woman. My main life partner was 10 yrs older than me. We were together for 9 years and he eventually left me for a much *older* woman... so go figger, you'll never be able to predict these things.
I'm now single and I'll confess I was a little freaked out when I passed 40. It's true that most guys are biologically attracted to younger women, in a way that's just evolutionarily programmed into them. They just can't help it. And it's weird to pass the age where you get just enough of those telltale lines on your face that those guys stop looking at you. But as I've settled into my forties I find I'm having a GREAT time. What has happened is I am no longer harassed by all the guys who are *only* interested in looks. Those guys just don't approach me any more, and I love that, because face it, those guys are the guys who are jerks! Those are the guys that'll kick you to the curb in a few years anyway.
Instead the only guys who approach me now are the really cool, fun, amazing ones. Sure, they want a woman who looks reasonably good, but they don't hold you to an impossible standard, they don't mind a wrinkle or two, and they also appreciate all that good ol' fashioned stuff like companionship, humor, shared interests, shared musical tastes.
There are fewer of those guys, but they are the best ones, and they seem to turn up constantly. I get an offer or some kind of come-on about once a week.
So basically, all the jerks have weeded themselves out! It's great!
And vice versa, too - I'm not looking for eye candy either. I'm much more turned on by a guy who is truly happy, honest, fun to be around and has a great smile. I could care less if he has a few lines on his face or a less-than-perfect body.
Anyway, I turn most of the guys down, as sweet as they are, because I honestly love my life the way it is. I get to travel all over the world and I am totally independent, and I have become addicted to the freedom. Despite all the offers I get, I don't really want a partner and I don't want to get tied down.
So here's one single woman over 40 who's never been happier. Go figger.
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Saturday 06 February
By EmmayElle
Dear Walter,
I cannot even imagine what you could have gone through to make you so negative towards American women. Clearly, you've had your heart broken by "anti-evolutionary" women who are "trash, in every sense of the word (i.e. classless, superficial, stuck-up, confused, fickle, dishonest, and a waste of time, due to the BS games they play, and their 50% divorce/self-destruction rate, of course). " Did a woman take away your manhood Walter? Aww is that why you're so pissy? You poor confused man. Girls, I copied his post below so you can weigh in on this loser as well.
"And as for American chicks in general, they are anti-evolutionary (i.e. they reject the thousands of years of evolution that have defined gender roles for man and woman, and try to act like men, which is very unbecoming on a woman). With divorce rates at over 50%, who in their right mind would even bother with marrying an American woman? The odds aren't in your favor. If I were you Dave, I'd start looking for a real (foreign) woman, who understands how to make her man happy, rather than acting as if everything is a competition. If American women weren't constantly trying to one-up their men, perhaps they'd be able to hold their marriages, and families together. But for the most part, American women are trash, in every sense of the word (i.e. classless, superficial, stuck-up, confused, fickle, dishonest, and a waste of time, due to the BS games they play, and their 50% divorce/self-destruction rate, of course). "
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Monday 30 August
By sam
dear EmmayElle
I can not even imagine what horrible feelings you could have toward men that could make you try to censor their comments and not only that, but also looking to gang people up on him. That's just plain creepy and disgusting.
Guys, I copied here post below so you can weigh in on this loser as well, and remember that this type of woman probably likes to psychologically bully people around or get girls to gang up on males for speaking their minds.The type of woman you've probably encountered in the past, and the type we should start ganging up on as well.
this is her comment(in the end you will see her advising other women to gang up on this poor guy that just spoke his mind):
""I cannot even imagine what you could have gone through to make you so negative towards American women. Clearly, you've had your heart broken by "anti-evolutionary" women who are "trash, in every sense of the word (i.e. classless, superficial, stuck-up, confused, fickle, dishonest, and a waste of time, due to the BS games they play, and their 50% divorce/self-destruction rate, of course). " Did a woman take away your manhood Walter? Aww is that why you're so pissy? You poor confused man. Girls, I copied his post below so you can weigh in on this loser as well. """
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