Speed dating isn't a new concept for me. I've tried it once before, and it was a surprisingly painless experience. Hey, I even got a nice, legit second date out of it.But they'd always been relatively small, low-key deals where I'd meet 10 or 12 guys by the end of the night. Not so at the Find Your Luvah speed-dating event held over the weekend in Hoboken, N.J., which organizers hoped would break the world record for number of microdates.
I was one of 350 people simultaneously speed-dating, which made it the largest event of its kind in history. With so many people talking in one room and the potential to meet so many guys, I wasn't really nervous. I was, however, overwhelmed by the sheer number of people.
Purple Lab, the event's host, went all-out on this one -- before the event, there was plenty of swag, a buffet of finger foods and club music blasted through the speakers.
When it was go-time, we strolled into the large ballroom filled with long tables, numbers and bottles of Skinny Water. Steven Ward, matchmaker and host of VH1's "Tough Love," was on hand to host and sign copies of his book. (Steven's a good-looking guy. It was to many a female attendee's dismay that he opted not to participate in the speed dating itself. )
After registering and picking up a tag that re-named me the very sci-fi "G197," I made my way to the bar and tried the party's signature drink, which was a mix of vodka, a fruity liqueur called X-Rated Infusion and seltzer water, which actually didn't taste too bad.
It was time to get things started.
You really could see a wide variety of men and women in the crowd -- women dolled up in skin-tight dresses and stilettos stood alongside others who'd opted for the low-maintenance look with their jeans and sneakers. (I decided to go for an all-black ensemble -- skinny jeans, flowy top, blazer and studded, heeled boots.) The men ranged from preppy frat boys to your garden-variety "Jersey Shore" types. There were definitely more good-looking guys at this event, which made me a little bit more hopeful about snagging someone.Putting the Speed Into "Speed Dating"
Between the rush to get to seats and how close they were to one another, there were actually a few wipe-outs on the way to sit down. People who came in groups were annoyed by the fact that their wingpeople couldn't be next to them. With all the voices filling the ballroom, it made me worry, How the hell are we actually going to hear each other when we start talking?
Since there was still an excess of women (sadly), it looked like the guys would be going on more than the allotted 20 dates we were originally granted at the beginning of the evening. As I walked over to my seat, I was relieved to see that my "first date" hadn't arrived yet. Until I noticed a too-young-looking guy (I mean, I'm 24, but he looked like a high-schooler) walking over to the chair in front of me. He was adorable -- but in a Frosted Mini-Wheats–commercial way, wearing a suit that clearly was too big for him. He introduced himself, and we started our "date."
He breezed through rote questions like "How are you doing?", "What brought you here tonight?" and even asked me what I was doing after the event. Oddly enough, it wasn't as awkward as I thought. He turned out to be an engineer (he looked like jailbait, but he'd graduated from college in 2008) who came to the event with a friend. Most of our conversation was more guessing games and mindless banter, but he seemed like someone I could have fun with.
Unfortunately, I wish I could say the same for the rest of my dates. One guy who looked like he played football in high school talked so much about Christian rock music I felt like I was being converted. Another wouldn't stop fidgeting wildly and looked around the room for the entire three minutes we were forced to converse. There was another guy who admitted he wasn't looking for a girlfriend and had been dragged to the event because he knew some people working there. I pitied him -- being forced to date against your will is even worse than being on a bad date.
Despite going on what felt like 60 of the things (even though it was only 20), I never met anybody I clicked with more than my first: the baby engineer.
Speed Dating Aftermath
When the final siren sounded, I went to grab my coat so as to beat the rush out of this place. As I waited in lin
e for my jacket at the coat check, I bumped into him again. "Did you meet the man of your dreams?" he asked.
"No, did you?" I responded.
"Yes, I think I met the man of my dreams. But as far as the women, not sure, maybe," he answered.
He told me I was cool and mentioned that we should "pick" each other. (After you've dated all your potential mates, you're asked to log onto the Purple Lab Web site, where you write down the ID numbers of the top five guys or girls you'd want to go on a second date with. If they pick you, too, you'll be emailed their contact info.)
Earlier in the evening, I had the chance to talk to Steven Ward, the host, and I asked him for a little advice to share with the Lemondrop gals. Regarding girls making the first move he replied, "I admire that ... I appreciate that more than anything."
So I gave baby engineer my number. "You can just call me if you want to hang out ... or if you're ever in Hoboken," I boldly told him. He was slightly taken aback, but Steven was right -- he also seemed appreciative and handed over his phone so I could type in my digits.
It's been a few days since the speed-dating event now, and I have yet to hear from this guy. While I'm not necessarily parked by the phone, I am curious to see if he'll actually call. But I guess just like every first date -- even a three-minute one -- we just have to go with the flow and see what happens.
Emily Tan is a journalist and photographer based in New Jersey. She writes for Lemondrop and is adorable.More Good Stuff on the Web:
What's the Best Picture for Your Dating Profile? A Guy Gives Us His Take
Redacted Guy: The Gay Man Who Made Me Believe in Love
How to Get Over Your Ex
Burgers? Beer? This is a contest we can get behind. 



















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Tuesday 02 February
By Dave
Being a 47 year old male, the dating scene is nothing but a game. Women that I want ( age 30 - 35 ) are too busy going to clubs and getting bedded by younger boys. What is really funny is that I did the same thing about 25 years ago - it was too easy. But, these women STILL think that a younger man will MARRY them - sorry ladies, NOT going to happen. A Successful man wants a woman younger than he is. So, if you women in your early 30's would wake up, things will be a lot better for you - just accept that a man almost 50 will be your husband. And, a man can get married at any age - not true for a woman.
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Tuesday 02 February
By Lorna
Dave, with all due respect, your head is in the clouds - or possibly somewhere else. Someday you'll come down to earth and realize you've wasted a lot of years pouring over those younger women when what you really wanted and needed is right in front of you. Don't, and I mean don't, discount women your own age. If you do, you could very well be sorry down the road.
Tuesday 02 February
By L
Whoa, Dave. I think I can guess why you are still single...
Tuesday 02 February
By Mary
47 year old men should realize they have no business trying to date 30 year old women. Just because you are finally sucessful in business does not mean that you get the young trophy wife. You all should grow up and date women your own age.
Tuesday 02 February
By Kat
LOLOL ... What a dumbass you are, " Dave." So far in my lifetime, I've already been married to THREE younger men. And I have outgrown all of them and kicked them all to the curb. At 44, I am currently dating guys from 24 to 41. All but one of them for over 2 years now. So these are not one-night stands or short flings. I get at least 1 marriage proposal a year... usually more... which I choose to turn down. Thankyouverymuch. And I also usually get enough flowers on Valentine's Day to practically start my own flower shop! Reality check there, Grandpa Dave.
Tuesday 02 February
By GET REAL.
As if you're not "asking for it" right now. Wow. The kettle just called the pot black. What exactly do you think you are implying?? Thirty year old females should "drop" at your fifty year old butt?? Not happening. How lame. Find someone your own age and get over yourself.
Tuesday 02 February
By famessage
I am an Air Force and single at present .I need a woman who can love me back ...
I also uploaded my hot photos on Uniformedcupid.co000m under the name of mylover00.
It's the largest and best club for seeking Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Police Force, and the admirers of those who wear the uniform.
I just hope you don't mind me being a soldier ...Please Check it out!I'm serious.
Wednesday 03 February
By colin
Dude, your attitude sucks that why your getting nowhere. Nothing changes with age. Women are freaks at 20 and at 50. Treat them as such and your luck will change. First you'll get lucky more often, then you will get a decent one (still a freak) that loves a bad boy and will try to slow you down. If she's cool and your down go ahead and "let her" slow your roll. If it works out you got a decent woman that that's a freak for you. She takes the credit cause she thinks you settled down for her.
Wednesday 03 February
By Walter
Dave is 100% right on... and as for "Cougar", most dudes understand that Ashton has serious mental problems (i.e. mommy-issues). The vast majority of men would never behave in such a way. Why, you ask? Because we don't want to be stuck with some old hag when we are middle-aged. I can guarantee you, unless Ashton is totally out of his mind, he'll divorce Demi before she hits 60. But then again, there are also a lot of rumors that Ashton is gay, like so many Hollywood men, and only married Demi as an outrageous publicity stunt... but we'll leave that one to the gossip rags.
And as for American chicks in general, they are anti-evolutionary (i.e. they reject the thousands of years of evolution that have defined gender roles for man and woman, and try to act like men, which is very unbecoming on a woman). With divorce rates at over 50%, who in their right mind would even bother with marrying an American woman? The odds aren't in your favor. If I were you Dave, I'd start looking for a real (foreign) woman, who understands how to make her man happy, rather than acting as if everything is a competition. If American women weren't constantly trying to one-up their men, perhaps they'd be able to hold their marriages, and families together. But for the most part, American women are trash, in every sense of the word (i.e. classless, superficial, stuck-up, confused, fickle, dishonest, and a waste of time, due to the BS games they play, and their 50% divorce/self-destruction rate, of course).
Wednesday 03 February
By tyrebitre
Wow ! Everyone is dragging Dave's nads across the coals but no one is taking KAT down for her post , which is far worse. Despite Dave's attitude, there is some truth to what he says: and regardless of the righteous indignation he raised, he is correct that the trophy wife is many many times more common than the younger (significantly) hubby. Meanwhile, KAT is bragging about "kicking three younger hubbies to the curb" while currently dating men with an even greater age spread than Dave wants: she then has the balls to call him "grandpa" even though she is just a tiny bit younger than he ( and therefore in the "date your own age group" all you prudes are telling Dave to stick to ). Well, here's a "truth" for you : guys will stick their peckers into anything that is warm and wet, so don't take the fact that it happens to be you as such a complement ( this also falls under "reality check"). As for all those who attacked Dave without giving Kat her fair share , can we say "hypocrite" ? And for those who seem to believe that a lot of younger women don't like older men, it is surprising how many either do or are open to the idea. The problem is old guys who CHASE young women ( and don't know either when to quit or back off when unwelcome ).
Wednesday 03 February
By Farfalle
Dave I hear and understand what you are saying...in fact I've been there and done that. I at 30 married my husband when he was 40. A 10 year difference didn't seem like a lot back then. As our marriage progressed (we had one son while married) he began to slow down and I began to mature and come into my own. Needless to say our marriage after 15 years ended in a divorce. My reasonings were that he (as many men unfortunately go thru) began having intimate issues in his early 50's from a health standpoint. I felt a new awakening in my life while he found more solice in becoming a home body. Now at 49 and beginning to date once again (it took me awhile to take that first step again) I find men 5-10 yrs younger than me are much more interested in a woman of my maturity (I do keep myself physically fit) do to the games, lack of experience and jealousy issues girls seem to exhibit in their mid thirties or younger. I do understand your interest in women 10-15 your junior for NOW, but as you both progress in age,the probability of her getting tired of you or worse, having an extra-marrital affair on you would be pretty likely. I think a younger man with an older woman has a greater chance on longevity than visa versa. And besides, the life span of a woman surpasses a man.
Wednesday 03 February
By Elaine
My heart goes out to all you single ladies whether never married, divorced or what have you. Why? I can imagine if you ever met the likes of Dave or the guys who support him. I swear, if God forbid my husband ever passed on or if he left me, I'd turn lesbian if I have to date the likes of Dave. Ladies, Don't EVER think of yourself lower than a 10. I don't care what you think you look like or cannot do you ALWAYS have something good, if not many, to deliver to the table. ALWAYS. If you treat yourself with confidence, without being cocky, you will attract a guy worth having a lifetime with. This Dave is 47 years old, very immature for his age and obviously self conscious which is why he attracts the bimbos that he does. As much as there are men like Dave, there are good men out there. Don't try so hard looking for a man. Stop going with the idea of the PERFECT man. Lastly, don't sacrifice all of your dignity just because you want a companion. He has to come half way too.
Wednesday 03 February
By Kay
WTF??? A woman cannot marry at any age but a man can? WTF? A woman nearing the age of 50 have more to offer a man than any 50 yr old limp d--- has. Go order your Viagra Dave.
Thursday 04 February
By Rosie
Not true. I have been proposed to by men of all ages. Most of them much younger than myself...some 20 years younger. Sorry, you don't know what you are talking about. Guys want someone who enjoys life and is a happy person. I'm a very positive and fun person and guys of all ages love that!!
Thursday 04 February
By Amanda Ashe
Silly me Dave, I thought people married for love.
Good luck with your 30 year old - I'm SURE she's not using you for her money. Sure of it.
I'm 31, dating a 25 year old...guess I should remind him of this.
Tuesday 02 February
By CharlesD
Hey, she met a bunch of men she was too good for. Fancy that.
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Tuesday 02 February
By Ted Bolla
I like the idea but when the groups are 20-40 & 40-60 how does a 35 meet a 45?
There should also be 30-50,& 50-70 groups.
& what about us active seniors? I am currently dating a nonegenagian, seriously.
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Tuesday 02 February
By Zoey
Dave, you deserve a total thump on the head. Get yourself out of the dark ages and maybe someone somewhere will want to date you. (There's a reason those women 30-35 aren't interested in you, and it's not your age.) LOTS of women marry men younger than they are -- at any age -- so maybe it's time you revised your philosophy. At the rate you're going, you're not going to be anyone's husband.
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Tuesday 02 February
By Jay
Dave,
What rock did you climb out from under? Woman you want don't want you because of your attitude, not your age. 47 and you still haven't grown up.
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Tuesday 02 February
By Adri
Hey Emily,
It sounds like you had a lot of fun and are experiencing beginning romance "torture." I myself ended up with a New Jersey man and he too "tortured" me in the beginning, but looking back it really added a lot to the courtship. I hope you two go somewhere with this! Good luck :)
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