AARP is encouraging sextingIf your grandpa's a member of the AARP, you'd better hope he doesn't have your cell number -- or you might accidentally receive a text message from him that reads, "Forget chocolate. I am craving the taste of you."

I am not creepy and did not just make that up -- it's honestly a direct quote from an article on AARP's Web site about how to incorporate sexting into your love life if you're old. Great googly moogly, why WHY WHY?!

First of all, "sexting" in and of itself should be done only by nobody ever -- it's not a great idea to spend 10 cents sending somebody a picture of your boob that will live on the Internet for the rest of time. This doubles for grandmas, who already have two generations of living descendants cruising the Web looking for trouble.

The organization would also like to remind all the people out there who just couldn't resist sexting to delete messages from their filthy, filthy inbox periodically so that little grandson Joey doesn't grab the phone and get the shock of his life one day.

Uh, thanks, AARP? Please go back to making sure our grandparents get their Denny's breakfasts at a discount, and leave the sexting to the tweens.