
See that middle photo there? That "MySpace" shot? According to OKCupid.com's study of the most successful online dating profile pics (with "success" being measured by how many messages you receive), the "MySpace Pose" is the best way to make yourself attractive to guys.
Just one problem with that one: How do you not feel like an idiot while trying to peer into the camera like a barely-legal sex kitten? Personally, I felt like a complete tool -- I could barely press the shutter at that angle.
The runners up are, in order of popularity: "In Bed" (again, seriously?), "Outdoors," "Travel Photo," "Having Fun with Friends," "Doing Something Interesting," "Drinking Alcohol" and -- dead last -- "Posing with an Animal."
You'd think common sense would dictate that in a profile picture you'd 1) smile; 2) take pictures with a real camera instead of a phone; 3) keep your clothes on; and 4) make sure you show your face. Turns out the opposite's true -- on all counts -- if you're looking to the maximize the number (if not necessarily the quality) of messages you receive.
We decided to have some fun with this study, so we swapped photos with Ryan McKee, one of the strapping young contributors over at our brother site Asylum. Below, you'll find the photos which Ryan used to judge whether he'd date me and my rationale for picking them, as well as the Action Shots of him he sent over for me to objectify. Check it.
"MySpace" I think the only time I felt more awkward taking a photo was when I took the "In Bed" shot below. This photo says "how you doin'?" and I think it's ridiculous. And until they were done crunching numbers, the OKCupid folks agreed with me: "We were sure that everyone thought these pictures were kinda lame. In fact, the prospect of producing hard data on just how lame got us all excited. But we were so wrong." This is the single-most effective photo for a girl to use on her profile -- even more so than the straight up cleavage shot. No kidding: There was no change when excluding the MySpace-cleavage-shot overlap. Ryan's response to this photo is exactly why I'd never use this pose. If I want a casual make-out, I'm not gonna mess around with the Internet, I'm just headed to the bar to see my best friend, Cuervo.
"In Bed" HA! Maybe the reason I don't take photos like this is because I have no idea how to make it work (Ryan's description of it is dead-on). But let's pretend for a minute that this is an alluring, come-hither look. While this look would obviously get me a ton of messages, I can't imagine any of them being something I'd want to respond to. OKCupid addressed this: "If you want worthwhile messages in your inbox, the value of being conversation-worthy, as opposed to merely sexy, cannot be overstated." And considering the best G-rated conversation starter that can come from a bed shot is "What thread count are those?" I think you all know where these messages are headed.
"Outdoors"Now this one makes sense! While it may not be traditionally sexy, it shows my personality and my interests: "If you date me, you should know that I like doing things like hiking." It's a good weeder-outer -- if a guy isn't outdoorsy, he's likely not going to message me, which is good because I most likely wouldn't want to date him. And to the point above, it's a legit conversation starter.
"Traveling"In theory, this one makes sense. A love of traveling generally means someone is adventurous and -- depending on where the photo is taken -- might have some money. Yeaahhh. But for me, it's just not that interesting. This was actually taken before I lived in New York, so it is an authentic "traveling" photo, but I chose it more because it's goofy. And guys like goofy, right?
"Having Fun With Friends"That this is the fourth-most popular pose totally seemed like a no-no to me. I had no idea it's OK to show your friends in your profile picture. What if they don't want to be online? How is the guy viewing my profile going to know which one I am? What if he thinks my friends are hotter than I am? But in hindsight, those are all easily remedied problems as long as you pick the right photo. And I think I did. It's obvious that I'm the one in the stripes, I look like I'm laughing and since you can't see my friend's face, there's no confusion as to who's hotter. The study also revealed that alcohol is a good prop, so extra points there, too. Done and done.
"Doing Something Interesting"This photo pretty much is an OKCupid jackpot. It's a conversation starter ("So, do you trapeze often?"), it shows some skin (something I hadn't even thought about until I read Ryan's post), it doesn't show my face (that you need to is one of the myths), and you can assume I'm having fun. It also happens to be a travel photo, as I was in the Dominican Republic. So BLAM. I got a date. And like the previous photo, I probably never would have thought to use this to present myself to a potential date. But it does make sense.
Now go see what Ryan thought!
Ryan's Photos and My Reactions
The most effective male photos are, in order: "With an Animal," "Showing Off Muscles," "Doing Something Interesting," "Having Fun With Friends," "Outdoors," "Drinking" and "Traveling." Let's check out Ryan's photos and see if they turn me on.
"With an Animal"It's well known that dogs are chick-magnets, but I think there's a difference between "with an animal" and "showing you're an animal lover" and this photo is definitely in the former camp. In fact, I'd place this in the "doing something interesting" category, because it makes me wonder, Who is this character and what is his deal? Assuming the accompanying message was even remotely interesting, I'd reply, even though I personally don't like little dogs. Hey, it's New York, apartments are small. I'll take what I can get. (For the sake of insight, I have to agree with OKCupid -- if a guy has a photo of him getting his face slobbered on by his giant puppy, I'm smitten).
"Showing Off Muscles"Knowing that this study found the "MySpace Shot" successful is crucial to understanding why the "Muscles" shot also came out a winner. It's just not my cup of tea. (Though maybe if it were a photo of some really ripped dude with a Labrador puppy sleeping on his six-pack abs ...) But Ryan looks like he's having fun with himself here, and that's a good thing.
"Doing Something Interesting"Is that a shark? Is his friend laughing because he's about to be eaten? Or are they splashing around at Sea World in a domesticated shark tank? Is he pissed that he just got splashed, therefore showing that he doesn't like roughhousing? All of the above are possibilities, though to be totally honest, none pique my interest much. Next ...
"Having Fun With Friends"Sleepover! At first glance, you can't tell if those are all guys (sorry, ladies, it's a small pic! No offense!), and if so, why the hell are they taking this picture in bed together? Yes, it looks like Ryan is having fun, but I'm just not sure if that grin on his face is because he's been laughing so hard, or because of all the all-boy pillow-fight he's about to enjoy.
"Outdoors"Only in NYC does this photo count as "outdoors," but since Ryan admits that himself, I can't deduct points. He does score for: 1) being down with gay pride; 2) having less fashion sense than I do (I can't handle a guy who dresses up all the time); and 3) sharing this endearingly awkward photo.
"Drinking"Again, OKCupid gold! I can't see his face, there's booze in the picture, and I totally want to ask how many shots he did before face-planting on the bar. Did his friends play any jokes on him while he was out? BINGO, conversation starter. Though a picture from earlier in the same night that showed the journey rather than the destination would have had the same effect.
More Good Stuff on the Web:
The 7 biggest Facebook No-Nos (Guyism)
Redacted Guy: The Gay Man Who Made Me Believe in Love (Lemondrop)
How to Get Over Your Ex (Lemondrop)
Burgers? Beer? This is a contest we can get behind. (Amstel Light)













Comments:
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Saturday 06 February
By Chris
I love how the first like 10 comments are all ads for dating websites . . .
Reply
Saturday 06 February
By JerryTerrifying
I think the best profile picture is the one that's of a girl that isn't ugly as shit.
Reply
Saturday 06 February
By oridance1
I think the travel pic of the statue of liberty is OK, but a push up bra would have been awesome. Actually any bra that would support those puppies. Saggy boobs = old lady.
Reply
Saturday 06 February
By An
the myspace shot makes you look younger. Your face looks thinner and wrinkles won't show. It also brings the most attention to your face rather than including your neck and shoulders.
Reply
Saturday 06 February
By -k
I vote for: doing something interesting with an animal! :P
Reply
Saturday 06 February
By kmaestro27
The picture taken from above by their self is a deal-breaker. That says childish, self absorbed, little girl. You're Daddy's princess and only you and him will ever truly believe in that. Any man of substance will take a pass.
Reply
Saturday 06 February
By Aaron Barnett
this is so fucking stupid and pointless
Reply
Saturday 06 February
By popswuzrite
this is so simple. A woman is at her sexiest pose when she's looking up with her eyes while her chin is down around zipper level.
Reply
Saturday 06 February
By Cicero
I don't know who your 'Real Guy" is, but he is a moron. Real guys want a picture that shows what she actually looks like, not some vague, covert pic that hides her face, weight and body in general. If a woman thinks she is too fat or ugly to reveal her real self. she is setting herself up for a lot of disappointments. Looks are relative. Show yourself; smile, take a good pic, but don't hide behind hair, clothes or darkness. Come on, 'real guys' want real gals.
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Tuesday 09 February
By nobody
it's your biased conviction of media - govern opinion;
now you have control over the audience ..brainwashing again
who the hell you are " media " deciding what is good and what is not?
you're a by product of a manipulative and wicked system that influenced your opinion.
media has enormous influence upon the communities in which they florish; who elected them? people
ps
it's a personal journey to exploit their lust and desire to be attractive; what's wrong with that;
enjoy yourself and share that experience with everybody and stop thinking that everybody is ignorant as you are;
Reply
Saturday 06 February
By scott
I am a very successful online dater and this is what I do: I provide two pics and that is it. I am in great shape and have a great body but I do not show a body shot. I have crooked teeth but I smile...and the ladies love it. Only women who are unaffected by my shortcoming contact me and the rest, I could care less. Oh yeah, I am 5'8" and say I am 5'7" and all the women comment on how I am taller than they imagine- gotta love it. This is sales and all you are trying to do is to get women to walk in the do or sample you product. There are just as many women who are attracted to flaws and your willingness to show them to the world as there are women who are looking for hotties.
Reply
Monday 08 February
By TTREXXX
JUST MY NAME... "MR 8 " x 3"
Reply
Monday 08 February
By Jerry
Face it... the woman in the pictures is butt-ugly.
Reply
Monday 08 February
By ericb955
I have not had any success with online dating, no matter which pic I used. I primarily used a face pic or an outdoor pic of myself...and it failed to generate interest from enough single women in the St. Louis area. I have given up on finding a potential marriage partner in the St. Louis area.
Guys, no matter how honest you are about yourself, most women will not believe you. I learned that lesson the hard way by my failed attempts at online dating, especially with Catholic Match. I wasted $80 on a one-year membership on that site in hopes of finding a single woman in St. Louis I could possibly click with, only to become frustrated with the limited choices of what was available, and pulled the plug after just three months. I also had a trial membership in Catholic Mingle, but I encountered a very limited pick of single women. So, I decided not to make the same mistake, and decided against a full membership, which would have set me back $120.
Ladies, read the man's profile COMPLETELY more than once. Ask him if he's being really honest about himself. You should also NEVER LET A MAN'S BANK ACCOUNTS STAND IN THE WAY OF A POTENTIAL RELATIONSHIP. If you do, that shows a man that you're not ready to make a commitment to a full-time relationship (let alone a date). If you and the man you're interested in mutually set up a date, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SHOW UP. Standing a man up on a date without a phone call ahead of time saying that you won't make it is not only unfeminine, but also disrespectful to the man's feelings.
In St. Louis, for example, single men outnumber single women by as much as a four-to-one margin. That makes the search for Miss Right in the St. Louis area very difficult, if not impractical. Another example is New York, where single women outnumber single men by as much as a ten-to-one margin. As for me, I prefer looking in smaller cities.
If you have had no success with online dating, you would be best served if you canceled your accounts, give up the search for your true love, and go on with your life and/or career. You will be a better person for it.
Reply
Tuesday 09 February
By david
This study is falsely titled. Its not the best online dating pose.
They rated it on number of messages sent. I'm a guy and I have to admit, most guys will message them cause it looks like they would fuck, not to date them, some guys wanna date online but a lot just wanna fuck. Like me lol
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Wednesday 24 March
By joe
damn you all are harsh. girl is just trying to drop some knowledge on a growing trend in american life. her looks are irrelevant, and she is really not ugly to boot. Loved the article, and some of the comments, notably the guy who said he says he is 5'7 when he is really 5'8. rule of life, set the bar low, where you know you can exceed it. ppl will always be impressed, but when you set it high and don't meet it, watch out.
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