The Gender Paradox In India
Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg Ducks Questions About IPO Debacle
Amy Spencer is a dating expert and the author of "Meeting Your Half-Orange: An Utterly Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match" (Running Press). We ask her the dating questions that continue to baffle us.Lemondrop asks: What do you do if the guy you're dating stops calling?
Amy answers: Over the early course of a relationship, it's natural for five calls a day to taper off a bit. But any abrupt change -- where you suddenly can't get a hold of him or he doesn't call you back -- is cause for concern.
Every guy stops calling for different reasons. Maybe he's too busy with work or likes someone else or is packing for a long trip. But every answer leads to the same bad news: Whatever he's doing is more important than calling you.
Greg Behrendt, the co-author of "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Guide to Understanding Guys," said it best: "If he's not calling you, he's just not that into you." Guys know that if they just stop calling, it (you, the relationship) will go away.
It may be a coward's way of ending it, but it's a pretty clear sign. As much as you might not like that answer, look at it as a Get Out of a Lame Guy's Life card.
What do you do from there? Kick him to the mental curb. Pity the fool for not realizing what a catch you are. Move on, put your chin up and your smile on, and get ready for the guy who can't get enough of you.
About Amy: Amy Spencer has written for Glamour, New York, Harper's Bazaar, Page Six magazine and Match.com among other publications. She is the former host of the relationship call-in radio show "Sex Files" on Sirius satellite radio's Maxim channel, and also created and writes for The Dating Optimist.com.
More Good Stuff on the Web:
A gay guy's rant: I'm not an accessory for straight women
Can I find the Girl of My Dreams in a bar?
The 7 most annoying people airplanes
The Best and Worst Moments from Superbowl Halftimes
Comments:
Add a comment
Monday 01 February
By Patty
If it happens a lot, look for the common denominator. I'm a woman who sees girlfriends who are beautiful and have good jobs but who are so needy, demanding, desperate, clingy, ad infinitum, that even guys who try to give them a chance get scared off. They just look at it like guys are jerks and never figure it out.
Reply
Thursday 04 February
By me
Thank you
Reply
Tuesday 16 February
By Rena
Each guy...has done this to me. Just stopped calling stopped texting. Stopped everything. Even my current relationship.
It's gotten to the point where I don't even want men to look at me anymore because I'm afraid of being pulled into another relationship just to be dumped and discarded.
Reply
Monday 01 March
By Karen
I hate when men call me just because they think they have to. I like i when a man calls just to set up a time and place to get together and then you can talk all you want. Calling just to call gets really boring and annoying.
Reply
Thursday 18 March
By big d
what if the girl stops calling ?
Reply
Monday 22 March
By tim
as a guy... sometimes i don't call because i feel like the girl i'm dating might not be that interested... so i'll wait to see if she will call me. if she doesn't call, then i figure she's not interested and i move on to find a different girl.
but it's different if a girl calls me and leaves a voicemail. if i like her, i call her back. if i don't like her, i don't call her back. usually they get the picture, but if they don't, i'll just tell her that it's not working out.
Reply
Tuesday 23 March
By lorie
It amaze me at how its ok for a person not to return a phone call or a text if a person is considerate enough to call or text its only considerate to respond. My new friend he was getting into the habit of saying I'll call u back and don't if I text he would respond, but in the beginning he was calling and texting all day everyday but now he has slow down completely almost stop Im at a point in my life where if something is troubling me I should be able to tell the man that im dating, hopefully he would understand where I'm coming from but I guess not because like I said he don't call as much anymore!!!!
Reply
Friday 26 March
By sarah
if he keeps these shenanagins up tell him hes cut tryouts are next year
Reply
Saturday 04 June
By Sookie
Hi All,
I understand that this post is probably moot considering what I've just read...but I thought I'd give it a try anyway. I met this guy and we've been seeing each other for over 2 months now. During the first month he initiated all interactions, during the second month he and I both initiated contact. He had mentioned to me before that he doesn't like it that the guy is the one that tends to have all the responsibility when it comes to dating. He himself likes being chased and is used to that in fact. I haven't heard from him since Thursday, though I was the one who initiated the communication. I know that not too many days have passed, but I'm used to us talking in some way more regularly than this.
Has he lost interest? Is he just not that into me anymore? Or is he possibly still interested, but wants me to take over a bit more? Granted, right now he's out of town, so I know he's busy. I told him I'd miss him, to which he replied that he'd miss me. Either way, it doesn't take much time/attention to shoot a quick text message...which is why I'm curious at all.
I would appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks.
Reply