In my apartment there will be no Super Bowl happenings this year. In fact, I don't even know who's playing. However, I will be glued to the TV with scorecard in hand on Saturday night. Why? It's time for the Miss America Pageant.

And I know how to do it up right; after all, I did my time in pageants. In fact, this party is being brought to you by a former Colorado Junior Miss and runner-up Miss Maryland. But that's not why I still like to watch.

I still tune in because I've done this since I was a little girl, and there's something about seeing these women in their gowns discussing their hopes and dreams that, well, kind of makes you feel 7 again. It's even more fun when you're all grown up, sitting on the floor with your closest girlfriends, all wearing tiaras.

Besides, while the testosterone set may be gearing up for their big macho-fest on Feb. 7, I think we girls need to create our own midwinter get-together at which guests are encouraged to yell at the TV.

What makes a perfect Miss America Pageant party? This recipe usually works:

* Dress code: tiaras optional.

* 1 dozen pink-frosted cupcakes (heck, you're not in the swimsuit competition -- eat FOR those poor contestants.)

* 3 bottles of champagne (or a similar pink drink like Sparkling Nuvo.)

* Printed scorecards (so guests can judge along with the judges). Include blanks for swimsuit, evening gown, interview and talent scores. For entertainment, you can also include a blank where guests write in the candidate who looks most likely to say: "And I just want to help all those poor, poor people in Tahiti!" when she gets out of the soundproof box.

When the winner is named, be ready to bestow a dozen roses and a crown on whichever guest picked her.

Oh, and a surefire way to keep everyone engaged during the commercials? Practice your elbow-to-wrist waves.