The Gender Paradox In India
Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg Ducks Questions About IPO Debacle
Read on for our guy vs. girl advice!
First, the guy perspective, and for that we turn to Cary "Wise-Ass" McNeal. He totally understands the recent babe's position, says she can dismiss anyone she chooses, and gets why she would want revenge, just like "the ugly duckling who becomes a hottie or the fat guy who's now buff or the nerd who's filthy rich. They're the ones who always attend the high school reunion so they can rub it in." He proclaims that all teenagers are idiots, and that we all suck in high school, and that if you ignore someone because of how they were in high school, you might be missing out on an awesome person who has changed. His advice is that our duckling-turned-swan give these guys the chance they never gave her in high school.
Hmmm. It seems this question hit home for both McNeal and myself, but while it sounds like he might have been the high school meanie now Facebooking his former classmates, I'm the girl who was ignored and often teased. When I was a junior, I was lamenting to an older cousin about how much I hated high school, and he said, "Listen, there are two types of people in the world: Those who called people names in high school, and those who were called names. That never changes. Which would you rather be?" Good point.
McNeal is right -- all teenagers are idiots, (I could have helped my social standing by not wearing ridiculous safety-pinned pants and furry shirts), but not everyone sucks in high school. Just mean people. (High-five on that late-'90s reference? Anyone?)
So here's what I advise: Think back carefully about the guys who are attempting to pursue you now. Were they so popular back then that they just didn't have time to notice little ol' you? Did they seem freaked out by and angrily jealous of your free spirit, like James Spader was with Molly Ringwald in "Pretty in Pink"? Or did they intentionally ignore you because you weren't in their social caste?
Not noticing you until now isn't a crime, but showing a pattern of intentionally excluding people because of who they are is something to think twice about when considering a suitor, at least in my book. If there are any former classmates that pass the James Spader Test (by not acting like James Spader), and you're genuinely interested in dating them, give it a try, and go into it with open eyes and an open heart.
Discuss what high school was like for both of you, hear out each other's perspectives, and then remember that you're both adults now. Worst-case scenario, there are no sparks but you can be proud that you've taken the moral high ground. And best-case scenario, what an awesome story for your children!
What do you think? Were you an early bloomer or a late bloomer? Have you ever had a guy who ignored or teased you in high school ask you out later, and if so, what have you done about it? Anyone have any stories about dating a former bully? How was the sex? We want to hear everything!
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Truly unbelievable photos ... like this Lawn Whale. 
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Friday 29 January
By Nycole
I'd never hear the view of " There are two types of people in the world: Those who called people names in high school, and those who were called names. That never changes. Which would you rather be?"
I'm not sure that I am wholly on board with that statement, as I do not feel as though I was either in HS, but the point is a definite statement of someone's character. When you look back on your life, would you rather be MEAN or HURT. I'd pick hurt.
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Friday 29 January
By Kathy
That is what they meant.
Friday 29 January
By Leslie
I was plain and felt ugly. People ignored me. I started to blossom as I got into junior high school and a boy who use to tease me and talk about me asked me out. I ignored him. He was talking about my mother in home room and I felt he did not have good character and I just was not attracted to him, mentally, spiritually or physically. His character was awful and he was juvenile, immature, selfish and vain. All the bad qualities I don't want in a mate. Also, if someone can't treat you with respect, they are not worth getting to know. The bible says, those who make fun of the poor show contempt towards God and I truly believe that. People have been trying to screw over me, my whole life and I am not going to let them play me for a fool and kiss me or have sex with me. I won't allow it. I already see them as inferior partners.
If the woman is smart ... she will recognize him for the jerk that he was in high school and tell him to ... hit the road. Tell him to kiss your azz. He showed his true colors in high school and he was a jerk then and he's still a jerk now. Don't let him kiss you or have sex with you. You will just feel used and dirty later on.
Take your time and get to know some really good, decent men. God knows there are a lot of bad men out there. You have already had a bad experience with him, don't let him give you a line and try to get you into bed and then he'll just try to mock you later on ... kick him to the curb, now sister. He's not worth it.
You will recognize a good man by the good things that he does. What has this man done that qualifies him as a good man? Don't put yourself at risk. Remember, just because your pretty ... doesn't mean your smart. Don't be nobody's fool.
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Friday 29 January
By J
I remember a girl back in HS who was a popular cheerleader who used to think she was all that and used to belittle me when she'd see me in the halls. I was on the short side, and a bit too skinny, but not ugly by any means. Shortly after I graduated from college, a little taller and more filled out, I was home for the weekend and I bumped into her at the grocery store. She said "OMG its so good to see you! how you been?" bla bla bla. I couldnt believe she was talking to me nicely...and also the fact that she put on at least 30 lbs. Oh..did I mention that she was the one ringing up my groceries in the check-out line?
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Saturday 30 January
By Jilda
YESSS amazing story! lol
Friday 29 January
By Alyssa Cannon
TO LOOK FABULOUS AND HAVE THE LAST LAUGH IS THE BEST REWARD!
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Friday 29 January
By Eric
I think we are forgetting one key thing here...that was then, this is now. I know I'm not the same person I was in high school. I've never had any problems making friends, or enemies for that matter. I hung out with all the cliques, and because of that certain "friends" would rag on me for doing so. I was ignored by some girls, while others showed interest. But I was always the quiet, shy, insecure guy. I guess pretty much like most teens in the 80s. Fast forward 20+ years later, I'm a very much different person, but with still the basic "nice guy" intact. But I'm far more confident, no longer insecure, and no how to stand up for myself. I have hooked up with a couple of women from high school (who never had any interest in me). But they weren't the same girls either.
Point being, one should look at this as a clean slate. It's two people who have interest in each other. The past is irrelevant. Unless of course, this person treated you like crap, which is different from not giving you the time of day. But even then, I've known "bitches" and "a-holes" that have become really good people all grown up. If your interested, go for it. Get to know the 2010 version of these people. You just never know. As well, you don't end up looking like that girl who never forgot/forgave, and looking to exact "revenge". It just makes you look like that teenage girl who never really grew up. ;-)
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Friday 29 January
By farlas
Six billion people on the planet and you people are concerned with this? Skip it and move on.
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Friday 29 January
By terry
If a guy was intentionally mean to me in school and then later he decided he liked what he saw and ask me out. I would say oh I remember you from school, and you were so good looking...What Happened and walk away. :)
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Friday 29 January
By Lyn
I would say to the guy.. Umm no way. you ignored me in the past. What do you want from me now? GET LOST
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Friday 29 January
By Laughing Lady
If he's not the last man left standing, why even consider going out with him? Find someone you don't have any history with and create some!
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Friday 29 January
By rivigara
First, to all paranoids out there. It could have been that the kid had a crushed on her but was too nervous to let her know. Either way, what is wrong with noticing you now? isn't IT THE NOW what we really own? . If she wants to keep living in her bitter past and be a hater NOW, I would suggest the guy to RUN AWAY FAST. If she decides to give him a chance and he ends up to be a great person, then Great, if he is a jerk she knows enough to show him the road ASAP. No harm done- Am talking as if this couple were normal people, if he had beem or was a known abuser or violent, then don't even look at t he guy AT ALL EVER.
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Friday 29 January
By Megan
Sometimes, this has nothing to do with looks.
I had guys from HS who never treated me as more than a friend [some who even ignored me] in HS, hit on me the year after we graduated. My looks had not really changed. What changed was the fact that we were no long expected to mingle only among certain groups of friends. I was a social butterfly- super school spirited, on student council, never without a date for a dance, often recognized by fellow students that I didn't even know... but I wasn't a part of any ONE specific group. And people glued to cliques don't typically branch out for dating.
Graduating from high school means leaving all of that behind, and that alone can be a reason for things like this. I have to agree that if you were really interested in the person [and didn't just think the y were hot] you should give them a chance- see if they turn out to be who you though they were. And if you don't, then at least you'll never be home alone wondering "what if..."
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Friday 29 January
By Ellie
I'd tell him to go scratch. My time with you is over. I've progressed and grown. WHY hasn't he? Because I'm another notch he hasn't yet cut into his belt? He'd die not knowing. And with guys like that, it's the best revenge you can get because he can't stand the fact that there's actually a girl out there who doesn't want him.
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Friday 29 January
By Rocket
This happened to me, sort of. I was fairly cute in high school, but a bit shy. When I went to my 25th high school reunion, most of my former classmates looked REALLY old, except for one girl who was an exceptionally late bloomer and me. So, at the reunion, the head cheerleader looked totally worn out, another cheerleader and several of the football players had all put on about 50 lbs.
I hadn't seen any of these people in 25 years. Nobody recognized me at first. Then I started getting hit on by this one guy who told me, "I had such a crush on you in high school." I said, "What a crock! I auditioned for your band and I had a great voice but you turned me down in favor of a freshman girl with half the vocal quality, but who was a little cuter." Plus, the guy was married, and when he got my email address and started emailing me after the reunion, I just ignored him. I thought it was pretty shallow.
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Friday 29 January
By Spurg
When I was in HS my Penis was small,(very smal)!... I was afraid to talk to Girls in general. All my friends..(guys) talked about how big a penis they had, and all girls wanted a...A big one!!! So to say the least I shyed away from most girls except the ones I knew well. Later in the 12 th grade I developed quickly..To the tune of around 9 inches...Then I became very cocky with girls!! Thinking from what I heard from guys that thought they knew what girls wanted. I would brag how well hung I was...The girls would call me rude,dumb,stupid and other things I can't repete...Long story short...My stupidity then got me nowhere. I learn a very deserved lesson then... Never believe the so-called hunks in high school... Be patient and all good thing will come to past...
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Friday 29 January
By Kathy
Why didn't you just walk around with your pants down. WERE stupid?
Friday 29 January
By Karie
I was a late bloomer as well. There were those select few people that found anything and everything to pick on me about. I didn't date at all and had to ask MY date to the prom. My now 13 yr old son is also having these same issues. I tell him, and it's true, that I'm proud to have been the geek, the dork, etc. because it helps me deal with his issues, and I grew into what I am today. So many of those people that treated me like dirt now want to be friends on FB. I add them. I want them to see how great I look. But the truth is, there are some that haven't changed. So if that happens, I just delete them. It was just never meant to be I guess.
As far as dating someone that ignored me. I think if it was just an ignore type situation, then yes, but there were those select few guys and gals in HS that made me feel really bad about myself and ruined my self esteem. Those I could never see myself ever being friends with.
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Friday 29 January
By CAROL
Hey Iola,,,,,1 and 1/2 kids equals one child and one on the way.
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Friday 29 January
By Denotchka
I went to high school and was painfully shy because I had learning difficulties and socialization issues. I still do a little. I went with guy I rode the bus with for 9 years. We're still friends but no romantic interest. I'm happily married now. As a matter of fact I saw him at the grocery store last week. We talked for quite some time and he had to leave. we helped each other through awkwrd moments too. I even straightened out some attitudes his co-workers had about him one time.
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