I've got a good one for you: How many blondes does it take to pick up a phone? Because dialing a few digits might have put another stereotype about fair-haired women to rest before it circled the globe this past week. In case you missed the latest "All blondes are ________" memo, let's start from the beginning:
This past weekend the Sunday Times of London published a story about a new study. According to the paper, the study found that today's blondes are short-tempered ice queens, used to getting their way -- and spoiling for a fight should anyone dare to question them.
The paper called it the "princess" effect: Blondes, born with a sense of entitlement, and used to having others do their bidding, lose their tempers more easily than women of any other hair color.
Before you could say "blonde joke," newspapers in New York had picked up the story, and reporters hit the streets to ask the flaxen-haired whether they thought being born a blonde made them more battle-prone.
The only problem? The British newspaper got it wrong -- more wrong than when a red-faced Mattel was forced to reprogram their "Math class is tough!"–talking Barbie.
What the study actually measured was whether attractive people anger more easily. Not one of the papers, apparently, that reprinted the story bothered to call the scientist behind the study to make sure what they published was correct.
And that sure got this blonde's Elle Woods–pink panties in a twist. Because it's not the first time it's happened.
The last blonde study that circled Earth in a nanosecond, only to be unilaterally debunked? Blondes will soon be extinct! Our recessive alleles, reported the BBC back in 2002, were being trumped by the dominant and dark-haired, and soon someone of my coloring would be rarer than a two-horned unicorn.
Just call us melanin-challenged. That one even sounded plausible, but as The New York Times finally reported, the story, and the study, were faker than your average bottle-dependent member of my tribe.
Then the rumor reared its ugly head again in 2006, when the Sunday Times (ahem, them again) reported that the last natural blonde would likely be born in Finland in 2202. And Stephen Colbert launched a satirical campaign to save our kind.
I ask you: Why are the fair-haired forever in the crosshairs?! Have you ever seen a screaming headline diagnosing the universal character traits of every redhead, brunette or black-tressed woman on Earth?
While we're at it: Do we -- the dizzy, ditzy, dumb (pick your poison) -- really deserve to have an entire category of jokes devoted to us?
Admittedly, we have our moments. But truly, aren't Chicken of the Sea and Jessica Simpson equally at fault? Tuna, after all, is a fish. And I see how that could get a little confusing.
And, no, we're not necessarily proud to count Ann Coulter, Paris Hilton or even the new, "improved" Heidi Montag among our ranks. But at least we don't have Sarah Palin doing her 100 brush strokes before bed with our team.
The truth is, there are very few things you can say about All Blondes Everywhere. Except maybe these:
1) We're a rare breed.
Of course, nobody's really done the global blonde census either (it's tough when we're always at the beach!), but it's estimated that between just 1 and 6 percent of the world's population is actually blond.
2) We tend to look do-able (but not for the reasons you'd think).
The one thing science will definitively go out on a limb to say about blondes is this:
"Women's hair, at least in North American countries, is lighter when they're younger, and darker as they get older, so blond hair may be a particularly good indicator of youth," says Catherine Salmon, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Redlands California. "At least in a non-hair-dyeing society."
In other words, part of the perennial fascination with blondness may be that, in the time before highlights, lowlights, peroxide, Sun-In and hair extensions, being blond may have been a clue to the cavedudes that you were still fertile.
When she took that idea to the streets, Sally Aitken, director of "The Blonde Mystique" -- yes, an entire movie dedicated to debunking blonde stereotypes -- found that the hypothesis held up.
When a blonde, a brunette and an African-American woman of the same age all walked into a bar -- people routinely guessed that the blonde was youngest.
Of course, with the arrival of the cougar, all reproductive givens are goners.
3) We like to poke fun at ourselves.
It was a recent visit to Scandinavia that convinced me of this. After my plane touched down, and tall, gorgeous Elin Nordegren look-alikes swarmed the baggage claim, I was floating in a little bubble of bliss.
It had suddenly occurred to me: Here, where nearly everyone was blond, all the stereotypes were moot. For the first time in my life, nobody would assume that I was dumb, fun, sex-crazed or, now, angry and entitled, before I'd even opened my mouth.
Then, one day in downtown Stockholm, I stopped cold in front of a store. In the front window, jauntily displayed, was a red apron emblazoned with the words:
"Sometimes I just have a blonde moment."
And I had to laugh. Even in the land of the light-haired, the blonde joke lived on.
So now my only question is this: Will the jokes, the myths, and the misconceptions actually outlast blondes themselves? Let's hope someone remembers to check back in 2203. Probably a brunette -- aren't they the most dependable?
More Good Stuff on the Web
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The 7 biggest Facebook taboos (Guyism)
Truly unbelievable photos ... like this Lawn Whale. (Burbia) 












Comments:
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Thursday 21 January
By Sek
Yes, red heads get it all the time.
Reply
Thursday 21 January
By Bailey
THANK YOU!!!!
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Friday 22 January
By Melissa
In Italy, blonde jokes are unheard of, and there are plenty natural and bottle blondes walking around so it's not for lack of representation.
Twisted Panties might feel better about anglophonic generalizations about blondes if she stopped generalizing about the perceptions of everybody else.
Now redheads, those people get serious grief. Feel sorry for them.
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Saturday 23 January
By Sarah
Another (I'd guess writer who colors her hair in order to stay blonde) blonde writing an article about her hair color. Seriously, what a great contribution to society.
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Saturday 23 January
By Chelsea
Um, redheads totally get sterotyped, probably moreso than blondes.
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Sunday 24 January
By Ali
Wah, wah, wah. This article is just proving another stereotype: Blondes are whiny.
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Sunday 24 January
By kate avilo
What are you counting as blond? Blond at birth or after a bottle of bleach, most are the latter and just look at their roots and you will know. The eye catching color can make up for a so so face. 3 of the most beautiful women in the world - Jolie, Megan fox and Ash Rai are BRUNETTE.
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Sunday 24 January
By Sternberg
The chick didn't quite get it, that "postman bites the dog", journalism isn't meant to be taken too seriously, did she?
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Sunday 24 January
By bz
ONLY HER TRUE HAIR COLOR DOWN SOUTH REALLY KNOWS FOR SURE IF SHE IS A TRUE BLOND OR NOT.
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Sunday 24 January
By NYC54
Actually, that assumption is false. Your pubic hair is not a tip off. Brow color and roots however are.
Also I agree with this article.
Steryotypes based on hair color in this society can been a problem. Especially now that hair coloring is so prominent.
If you color your hair blonde you don't automatically loose 50 IQ points.
If you dye your hair red you don't suddenly develop a "fiery temper".
And if you die your hair brown you don't automatically get smarter.
This whole rivalry over hair color is B.S. It's just another way for people to dislike one and other and feel superior.
Also, this article was on natural hair colors.
If we are talking bottle colors.
about 45% of blondes (natural and unnatural) are really brunettes. I think about that the next time you generalize. Maybe it's not the color but the fumes from the dyes (blonde, red, brunette) that are killing the brain cells. hmmmmm
Monday 25 January
By Dale
Another falacy. I'm a natural blonde - but the rest of my body hair is black.
Also, IQ is 148. So much for the dumb blonde.
Sunday 24 January
By bennie
There are very few natural blondes except maybe in the scandanavian countries. This going blonde is the biggest bunch of garbage. Brunettes with brown eyes are the most attractive and sexually appealing than a fake looking blond anyday. Women of the world get real > be yourself > keep your true color
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Sunday 24 January
By Kathleen
Benny: Haven't you ever heard that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? Your statement that brown eyed, brunette women are the most attractive may be true for you. I am a natural blonde who has never had a problem with getting attention from either sex, young, old, rich, poor-it doesn't matter. My haircolor and the size of my breasts have nothing to do with my intellect: I have a masters degree, am a published author, work in a high demand field, make a six figure salary and I have never made any apologies for being an attractive, blond-who incidentally drives a Porsche which I purchased on my own. Daddy did not put me through school and I didn't have to sleep my way to the top.
Sunday 24 January
By Steve
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? 2, all the rest are true.
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Sunday 24 January
By Bill
Your referance to "two-horned" UNIcorn does help your argument much. Anyway, It's redheads that are on the verge of extinction.
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Sunday 24 January
By Chris
I am natural born blonde (almost white) but as stated in the article, womens hair tends to get darker as we age. My hair at at 16 started to turn a dirty dishwater blond so I decided to help it get back to it's original color. I am currently almost 56 years young and being blond has nothing to do with being stupid. I can assure you that I am very far from dumb. I have a great job and have achieved may successes in my life and believe me it had nothing to do with my hair color. I still look extremely good for my age because I take care of myself and workout reguarly and watch what I eat (not because I am a blond) Still have guys in their 30's hitting on me and I love every minute it even though I am happily married for 22 years. A womens hair color does not have anything to do with success or anything else. Women with all hair colors are equally successful and this blond joke and stereotype thing has been going on for so long already, it really has gotten old. In fact, when a rare occasions I do something ditzy, I just say, hey, I'm blonde....and everyone laughs. Ladies use the worlds stupidity to your advantage..I find that there are a lot of stupid people in the world with all hair colors!!!!
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Sunday 24 January
By Ann
I'm a blonde person. I am dumb mand I still have the most fun.
ann
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Sunday 24 January
By Chris
Being blond can make up for a so-so face???? Yeah, maybe until she turns around and you see that she needs a bag anyway even though she is a blonde....ROFL!!! What a stupid comment!!!!
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Sunday 24 January
By j.d. sickels
The author needs to settle down. As a natural redhead, every time I've gotten the least bit testy I've heard "oh, that red-headed temper!" It's no biggie, there are idiotic stereotypes about everything that makes us different from one another.
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Sunday 24 January
By Cali
Plain and simple, there's a lot of blonde hatred floating around these days because people wrongly associate blonde with white privilege. Currently, anything that embraces white culture takes on a racist connotation. Blonde = white culture = evil. Take Brazil's President Luiz Inacio Lula de Silva for example, blaming white, blue-eyed bankers for the world's market crashes. And I can't count the number of times I've heard people on message boards complain about "blonde, blue eyed beauty" being pushed in fashion magazines, although the last time I checked, bleach blonde hasn't been fashionable since the 1980s. It's the same thing with these false studies. What other purpose is there to publish that kind of report - and one taken out of context, at that? You won't EVER find a similar study made about people with any other racially notable feature. You think they'll do a study on people with Asian eyes? Or African hair? That study (as reported) is meant to promote feelings of unease about natural blondes. (And, by the way, neither Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson qualify as such.)
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