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OK, before you freak out and think I'm some kind of sex pervert (hi, Dad!), let me introduce you to the craziest sex toy I haven't used -- the Pussy Pump.I recently the discovered the P-pump on AdultToy.com. (Where I was doing research. For a friend.) I like to think I've seen a marital aid or two in my day, but this one sort of boggles the mind.
What's a pussy pump, you ask? Well, you shameless nympho, it's a plastic cup that looks like something a fireman might use to give you oxygen, attached to an air-filled bulb. The purpose, ostensibly, is to make your downtown Detroit all engorged without having to use conventional methods, like getting turned on or having a midget punch you in the crotch (or, ideally, both).
What? Why? Even AdultToy.com, one of the retailers pushing the pump, seems a little mystified. "Why blow up your pussy?" asks the product description. Why indeed! "Some women report increased sensitivity, and men report increased tightness." The site also notes the inclusion of a "Free Demonstration DVD" to "show you how it's done, step by step." (Hey, anything's better than "Glee.")
Still mystified? I was too. So I asked Ian Kerner, sex and relationship counselor and author of "She Comes First," why pump?
"About five years ago the FDA approved a clitoral therapy device for women who suffer from inhibited arousal," Ian explained. "The whole topic in general (the medicalization of low female desire) is a controversial topic, but this therapy device was approved by the FDA and is basically a small vacuum pump that goes over the vulva and sucks air out, encouraging blood flow to the genitals. I would have to say that the idea of using a vacuum pump to encourage blood flow to the female genitals is nothing new, but sexual-science research has shown that female desire is much more complex than merely facilitating blood flow to the pelvis."
Yeahhhh, I don't know about most of you, but if I see genitals that look unnaturally inflamed, that's my cue to roll up my tarp and fake an early squash game. Anybody out there tried this thing?
Comments:
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Wednesday 20 January
By Rosebudd
Another strrraaannnnggggge idea. But very funny and will probably be tried may.
Reply
Wednesday 02 March
By keith freeman
you know whats gonna happen next....
we will see some chick on u-tube that sucked out her brain,lol
Wednesday 20 January
By Shawna
Yeah, I used one of them pussy pumper thingy's and it made my pussy look all blowed up, but then I got down and durty wif my husband and we had a good time.
Reply
Friday 12 February
By lateesha
i was just wondering how long does it take for my vagina to go back to its regular size if i use the pump?
Thursday 21 January
By KIM
these are not new they have been around for a loooooooong time i always thought the idea of it was a bit strange and would never want to pump up my twat to the size of a christmas ornament, it's just sick! and no one here believes for a sec. that you were "doing research. For a friend." you were looking for a battery operated friend
Reply
Sunday 13 June
By Big daddy j
True but no need to point it out
Thursday 21 January
By janna
Is this all you can write about? Pussy pumps and masterbation?Great news lol.Sex on the brain.
Reply
Thursday 21 January
By MIlf Biggenson
Best comment. EVER.
Reply
Thursday 21 January
By nouu
win.
Reply
Sunday 11 July
By dandydick
WARNING! After using this item on my wife, her vagina exploded. I was up all night cleaning the walls and ceiling.
My wife is now my uncle.
Friday 22 January
By theresa24880
Been there. Done that. Can you say hypersensitivity? It increases the sensations, not that there is any need too, but it does feel good and makes for a good times. Some of us having been doing kinky shit like this for years. If its not for you, that's fine, but you shouldn't knock something til you try it. And if this freaks you out, I'd suggest you stay away from my friends and I, as this is actually quite mild. As we commonly say... YKINMK... Your Kink Is Not My Kink....
Reply
Sunday 06 November
By KTB
Good for you Theresa.. I be with 'ya!!
Friday 22 January
By robert
You are hilarious, I fell out my chair laughing, but hey she put it out there you'd be remiss not taking advantage
Reply
Saturday 23 January
By mj
are u serious? how the hell u pulled a racist comment out of that is just stupid. JERK..
Reply
Saturday 23 January
By Rosemary
Don't knock it 'til you try it. I was hesitant when I first heard about this toy, especially because upon looking at it it's very hard to take serious. It is not a novelty, but a legit pleasure-heightening aide. It's best to try it out alone the first time, as you can determine how much pumpin' is required to reach your desired sensitivity level. Secure the sunction cup over your entire "area" and pump lightly. Comfortable sensitivity takes about 5 minutes, but you will notice your parts look swollen and feel highly sensitive to the touch. Oral feels amazing! Highly recommend you keep this handy.
Reply
Friday 24 December
By jerry
my wife has arthritis...and has not had my cock in her for years..but she luvs masturbation....do you think this well help her with toys in her pussy...she luvs oral and anal...just luv to slide into her pussy again
Thursday 03 June
By keith freeman
why do we feel we need some kind of device to help us have sex,lazy ba$tards, learn how to make love to your partner,learn what makes her climax, forget all of those fake dicks and latex v,j's make love for loves sake...SCIFI
Reply
Tuesday 26 January
By Debi
Ok - I think we understand what you are saying. Think about this for a minute ... not everyone has sex to make love. Some have sex to have SEX. When partners are together for years they know what drives the oher insane with excitment. After a while that doesn't always get the same results as it did the first few hundred times. You do get "immune" to doing the same thing over and over. That is why there are millions of "toys" to explore (not all the same size, shape, texture or even have the same purpose). My opinion - it is better to explore toys than to explore with someone else. (TT).
Friday 19 March
By Dr M
I don't think you understand the basic idea behind sex toys. They're not intended to be a substitute for regular vanilla sex, but to expand on the experience and enhance it. Your comment that people should learn how to satisfy each other without them is tantamount to saying, "Why do we need all these other sexual positions? Learn to satisfy each other in missionary position. Everything else is kind of sick." Or, "Why do we need oral sex? Learn to satisfy your partner through coitus." That's a pretty naive and medieval view of sex.
A big part of the effect of sex toys is psychological. Having a partner who's adventurous and uninhibited enough to play with something like this can be powerfully arousing all on its own, whether the pump works physiologically or not.
I might also point out that pneumatic enhancement toys like this are quite popular with the BDSM crowd, who use them in forced arousal games. Pussy pumps like this have been in use in BDSM circles for at least 15 years.
Tuesday 14 September
By ticklemetanya
really???? Someone can learn how to make their partner climax on their own.. and add t his to their sex life for even more fun... it's called variety and you shouldnt let it effect your pride or your "manhood".