It's a problem as old as dating clichés themselves: As long as there has been dinner and a movie, there have been oafish bores who insist on yammering through the whole film. Science can't explain it. Don't even try to understand it. Just know what you can do to deal with it, especially if you otherwise like this dude.

Even if your date isn't being polite, how can you handle the situation in a classy and considerate manner? Because let's face it:You're a classy and considerate lady, and his boorish behavior is going to reflect on you, too.

There are a number of archetypes we're dealing with here. Let's explore how to grapple with each.

1. The Confused: You've met him. He's genuinely not following the plot. Perhaps he's nervous or grappling with ADHD. In any case, answer his questions about who just shot the other guy as concisely and quickly as possible. Set an example by whispering and keeping it to an absolute minimum. "I'll explain later" is always a good movie-conversation-squelching mechanism.



2. The Quipper: This guy feels the need to make snarky comments throughout the film. Depending on his level of expertise, these are either genuinely funny or witty, or merely embarrassing. If it's the former, a smile and rejoinder in a whisper is appropriate. If it's the latter, oftentimes staring intently at the screen and pretending to be so absorbed that you didn't hear him can do the trick.

3. The Uninterested: This is the person who has come to the movie for no discernible reason, since he's more interested in discussing conservative radio hosts, comic books or last week's episode of "Entourage" than in watching the film.

Frankly, he's straight-up rude. He's not interested in the movie and therefore expects you not to be either. Try the direct approach. A polite but firm, "Sorry, I'm having trouble hearing the movie" should do it. If not, you might want to re-evaluate ever going to a movie with this guy again.

Whatever you do, don't resort to letting your firearm do the shushing for you. That's just bad manners for everyone.

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