Last week Lemondrop wrote about an editor at Brides magazine who was fired for baring her sports bra to fellow employees in a private office. The employee had had her breasts augmented. Two of her colleagues asked to see the results, so she closed the door to her office and unbuttoned her shirt to reveal her improvements, happily ensconced in a sports bra. "It was within the confines of my office, behind closed doors," the ex-employee told the NY Post. "There was no nudity involved. They were personal friends who I had known for years."
The story, however, lit a fire under your collective mouse pads. With more than 200 comments on the original post, you gave us your none-too-subtle observations on workplace relationships, made snarky remarks about the ex-employee, and a few of you -- you know who you are -- whined about why we didn't offer up pictures of the fake boobs.
I am here to tell you that you shouldn't be using your company's computer while asking to see those ta-tas, and you shouldn't believe much of what has been reported on this story either. In fact, everything that comes out of the world of magazines is a bit suspect. Remember, these are the folks who removed Demi Moore's hip and asked us to believe that the picture was real. Now they want us to believe that they fired a woman simply because she bared her sports bra at work.
Give me a break -- and I say that in my professional capacity. There are a few reasons this story doesn't stack up.
As many of you reminded us, there is no way to verify the facts. We will never understand why the employee didn't wait until she was off the clock to flash her friends. We will never really know why HR tried to deny her unemployment benefits. As one reader noted, "My guess is they probably wanted her gone anyway so they looked for anything they could use to get her fired."
It's easy to say that this editor should be fired for not doing her job, but really, very few of us do our jobs for the entire day. Work happens when we're not on the Internet, addressing our real lives, or paying our bills.
One of the readers of the original post wrote a comment that spoke to me: "There are no friends in the workplace."
I'm not sure I agree with this. Work is emotionally tough and taxing on the soul, especially in this rotten economy. Telling someone not to have friends at work is like telling a thirsty person not to crave water. We're not robots; we seek out connections and meaning. Sometimes we confide in our colleagues, sometimes we share secrets, and sometimes we show one another the results of our going under the knife.
I work in human resources, a field known for being cold and distant, and yet even I was once asked to look at an ingrown hair in my co-worker's nose. Another colleague vomited on me. People aren't fired for sharing intimate moments, so it's unfair to say that we shouldn't have friends at work.
That leads to the final observation made by many readers of Lemondrop: Some of you suspect that gender politics are behind this story. Case in point: "This is so typical of the way women operate in the workplace. The grudges, the backstabbing, the sabotage. No wonder there's a glass ceiling. No wonder, behind closed doors, men say they can't trust women in the office. We can't be trusted!"
If there's one thing you need to know, it's that the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" does not exist in your office. Unfortunately, passive-aggressive, woman-on-woman behavior is the third rail of human resources and modern-day feminism. Books are written to explain office politics and drama in the context of years of male oppression and sexism. Feminist scholars debate it. No executive leader or HR department wants to touch it.
Women aren't backstabbing banshees who sacrifice friendship in the interest of their careers. Women are people, and in an environment where unemployment sits at 10 percent and there are six applicants for every one job, a woman will fight to protect her family, her income and her health insurance. When pressed, she will rat out another woman in a heartbeat. Just like a man.
On the other hand, HR departments know that, due to this economy, they are in a position of power, and they will leverage that power to achieve certain results. So, based on those facts, here's what I think happened:
• Brides magazine was dissatisfied with the performance of the employee with the fake boobs.
• The HR department probably caught wind of the over-hyped story about the sports bra.
• They corroborated the facts with a few co-workers who may have personally disliked the newly augmented employee.
• They made a decision to act.
It wasn't a great HR decision, and one Lemondrop reader wrote, "If there is one department at your company that you need fear, if there is one useless department above all others that has caused more misery for the employees and damage to the company, it is Human Resources."
The truth is, Human Resources is an extension of corporate management: They don't have your personal interests at heart, and they are in a position to fire you if you violate corporate policy -- whether or not you feel like you did anything wrong.
So, as of now, you are on notice. Don't show off your new boobs to your co-workers. That's probably the best lesson we can learn from this story.



















Comments:
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Tuesday 19 January
By GoingLikeSixty
The problem I have with HR is the fact that they TRY to write a policy for every contingency to relieve management from having to think or act responsibly.
You were asked to examine a nose hair because you are Punk Rock HR.
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Sunday 24 January
By james
she didn't show anything women go running in public wearing a sports bra some bodies an idiot give it a rest
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Sunday 24 January
By user73493
"Women aren't backstabbing banshees who sacrifice friendship in the interest of their careers. Women are people, and in an environment where unemployment sits at 10 percent and there are six applicants for every one job, a woman will fight to protect her family, her income and her health insurance. When pressed, she will rat out another woman in a heartbeat. Just like a man."
Oh, please. I've worked in both majority-male and majority-female environments. The difference is night and day. The men work to accomplish goals, while the women work to screw each other. Granted, men relish beating other men in workplace competition, but it's a bonus. For women, it's the beginning and the end of what it means to be employed. I used to have a very naive view of women. No longer.
P.S. F human resources and your stupid little mind-games.
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Monday 25 January
By Ray
At work, I have a co - worker who always is interested in getting intimate. I've never been with any female co - workers or never slept with any female friends.
She always made an attempt by telling me of my great physical appearances, especially when it comes to certain organs of the body. From this story of the Bride Magazine HR, she shouldn't of shown her sports bra, even in closed doors, to her co - workers. In today's working force, men are very perverse and don't have the conscious to know that a female's body is private. She should have waited or stepped outside the office building to another building and showed off her sports bra.
She should have kept her newly augmented breasts to herself and her boyfriend or husband. He's the one whose going to be happy. Not her co - workers. I never showed my body part to the co - worker. The outcome may not be so well received. Certain co - workers you have to be careful with. There could be dramatic people. And those are the ones you need to stay away from.
I work in a hospital. I see breasts almost everytime I work and when I see mothers bringing their children for fevers or vomitting. They put on anything, but no matter if it's showing some cleavage. And some have the decency to cover up. Sometimes a nurse may request to put a dressing (gauzes and roller bandage) on a patient. I may enter to see what type of wound is it. If it's a female with a wound in the buttocks or breasts; I will request a female nurse to be seated by the bedside. I will never and ever put a gauze dressing on a female exposed of her body part, alone with her. Sometimes they compliment me of my hands (soft hands).
I like women. Going back to her case of the HR showing her sports bra. In today's society and work, you don't want to be playing with your job on the line. Because one day and even one day, the company can say, we're giving out pink slips or laying off workers due to financial reasons of the company. There are motels, hotels, people's homes, or even in the car - this could have been done - but not at work. Men may go wild and it travels to the BOSS! I had a female co - worker show me her breasts just to smell the perfume. The following week - I bought her the perfume, a 10 oz. bottle of Flower Bomb. If the woman would have showed me her sports bra; I would have preferred after work to show me her features. Maybe go to her house or in the car? But never at work behind closed doors. The girl has to be professional, and she's the example to work by.
Now what can she do? Finding an HR position maybe hard to find. And especially what occurred on the job. The woman may feel regret for doing this.
This isn't a hospital, City employee job, or a private company. This is the highest paid workplace. And this business is profitable. What can go wrong? This was a big mistake. But a lesson to all women who may feel good about their wishes, but never show your newly work to anyone at work. That's why you have get togethers at home or someone's elses house. I guess women are more private than men. This was a mistake.
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Tuesday 02 February
By Ross
I am a man-and I do think women have the right to wear what they want at the workplace, I do believe in equality between the sexes, but some women do use their sexuality to their advantage at work. some women deliberately dress sexy to distract men at work - they enjoy using that power they have over them and now that men are even afraid to stare or make any comment about it because of harsh sexual harrassment laws women nowadays are free to wear whatever they want in the office and theres nothing men can do about it and that is why much more women now are showing more cleavage, breasts enhancers, tight blouses, push up bras - they are flaunting it - - what am I supposed to do when all around me are flashing cleavages, bouncing breasts, skimpy tops, I get horny, I cant help it, it arouses sexual thoughts in me and it distracts me from my work. I try hard not to stare because I know women wouldn抰 like that but its hard,- Ladies is this fair what you are doing to men? Tell me what you think- Id like to get a ladys opinion
Ross
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Wednesday 10 February
By Ross
women should not wear sexy clothes to work because its distracting to men
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Friday 26 March
By fruitnuts
Ross,
I am a woman. I've written to you before.
I agree with you that women should not dress sexy in the workplace because it can cause alot of problems that can very easily be avoided.
Women that show cleavage at work do so for two reasons - it makes them feel more sexy, and they enjoy the extra attention they get from men.
Most women are actually not aware that they are distracting men from their work. However, a few self-centered women are aware of this but don't care.
I used to work in a Christian organization. We were never allowed to dress sexy anywhere in public -- neither at work nor even outside of work (on our own time). The only place we were allowed to dress sexy at was in the privacy of our own home. If we broke these rules, we would be fired automatically.
So if all of us ladies could refrain from dressing sexy anywhere in public, then I think women could atleast refrain from dressing sexy in the workplace.
I also used to work at an office in which there was hardly any rules at all regarding dress. It was also acceptable for the men to dress sexy there too. One man came to work every day with his shirt unbuttoned most of the way. I think it would have been ridiculous and downright mean if he had sued any of us women for sexual harrassment for just simply staring at his chest. If a man or a woman doesn't want anyone to stare, then they should not dress sexy.
By the way if the saying is true that a woman should be allowed to wear whatever she wants to wear at work, then I would wear my comfortable pockadot pajamas to work every day.
Ross, I never minded refraining from showing cleavage or thigh at work. If a woman wants to show cleavage, etc., then she should atleast wait until after she gets off of work and save her sexy dress for a party, etc.
Ross, you need to go talk to the Personnel Manager at your company about this matter. If you lived in the same town as I do, then I would be happy to go and talk to him or her for you. You're from Ireland, correct? I live in America. I also recommend your writing to your government's Department of Labor (or whatever it's called there) about this matter too.
Sincerely, "fruitnuts"
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Thursday 17 June
By Ross
Im teaching English to a class of adult students and one of the female students who has a beautiful figure and big gorgeous breasts comes into class wearing tight skimpy tops and tight pants which emphazize her breasts and her figure. She often asks me over to her desk with a question. Shes friendly to me and comes up to my desk to ask something . Is she teasing me - she must know that it really turns me on. Or is she just being friendly -is she deliberatly trying to turn me on for fun- I don’t know why she dresses like that in my class. Ive been very helpful and nice to her with her English studies and this is how she repays me -sexually teasing me
Ross
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