Every week, the editors over at GuySpeak give advice to women's questions in guy stylee. Then they handpick some of their favorites and send them over to us here at Lemondrop to answer (read: fix) them in girl style. This week, what do you do with a gay boyfriend who acts more like an actual boyfriend?

He says he's gay, but he likes to rub my thighs from time to time. So is he really gay or using being gay as a front to feel me up?
Jump to read our guy vs. girl advice!


This week we have Panama Jackson, dubbed the "Girls' BFF", on hand to provide the guy answer. Panama uses a baseball metaphor to explain why a man who actually wants to have sex with you would never willingly strand himself on 2nd base with no chance of making a home run. He thinks being gay is still taboo enough that no straight man would exploit it for sexual reasons. "He just likes feeling you up because, well, that's what gay guys do. They watch you get undressed and help you pick out clothes and they tell you to firm up your booty and lift your boobs, then they physically show you where they should be. It's gay privilege."

Though I have met two men ridiculous enough to say they're gay in order to get closer to women, and though it's been the topic of a few movies, for the most part, Panama is right: straight men won't cross the thin gay line.

There are certain unspoken intimacies that sometimes exist between straight girls and their gay boyfriends. Let me be clear: this is not at all about gay men secretly wanting to be straight, but about how intimacy is universal. Skin on skin feels good, touching feels good, and feeling close to someone feels good. There's a reason girl friends do each others' hair and guy friends will play-wrestle each other, and it's the same reason that gay men grab their straight girlfriends' boobs. It's not sexual, it's intimate. When we're children, our parents cuddle with us, but if you're single as an adult, you're expected to just wait until you're dating someone to experience physical affection, and that's a shame. Now, I'm not saying all Wills and Graces (side note: it's high time for a new gay guy/straight girl couple, America!) out there do this, but some do. The only time it becomes a problem is if you're so busy getting almost all your needs met by your gay boyfriend/straight girlfriend that you avoid romantic relationships. Sweetheart, if you're okay with being touched here and there by your gay friend, I say don't worry about it. But if you're uncomfortable with it, you find a DVD of the movie Boat Trip at his house, or if he starts going for more overtly sexual parts of your body, it might be time to reset those boundaries. Trust your instincts.

Ladies, chime in! Have you ever had a gay boyfriend get a little fresh with you?
Have you ever had a guy pretend to be gay to get in your pants? Have you ever cuddled up, non-sexually, with a girlfriend on the couch to watch Project Runway? We want to hear from you!

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