I went to Europe for Christmas, and I've got tons to tell you about it -- but I wanted to start with the trip home.

I forgot to handle the seating assignments for our plane tickets, and my boyfriend and I were set to sit two rows apart in coach for the 7-1/2-hour flight home from Amsterdam. But a crafty friend told me to say that we were on our honeymoon to see if they might try harder to get us seats together.

I figured I'd give it another shot before I restored to fibbing, so we went to the counter to ask again if they could find us anything together. They were very nice, but said that, unfortunately, the flight was full.

My boyfriend said, "Not even on our honeymoon?" I started to laugh, but suddenly everything changed.

Not only did we get two seats together, we were upgraded to business class.

Upgraded to business class? How does this magical, wonderful thing happen?

It was like somebody saying, "We're out of Bud Light. Tell ya what -- here's champagne, on the house."

So I found myself flying business class, which I've NEVER done.

In international business class, the seats are so big, you can't ever feel fat. There's enough room for 1-1/2 of your asses. The seat is electronic and has a built-in massager, and they offer you pre-flight champagne. The seats fully recline into a bed.

You get a small leather kit that includes a comb, lip balm, toothbrush, socks, ear plugs and sleeping goggles. The blanket is full size, not a tiny lap blanket. The pillow is down, not poly-synthetic. There's room for a St. Bernard to lie at your feet.

And the food! You get a menu and get to PICK what you want to eat. No stale pretzels in business class! An appetizer, salad, hot meal and dessert ... would you like the assorted fruit and cheese or chocolate mousse?

The flight attendant mixes cocktails and keeps your glass full until you cry uncle. Then a few hours later? Another hot snack. A warm meat pie with tiny toast and a cheesecake.

Now you're going to think this part is insane -- but the attendant actually came around with a tray of small ceramic houses.

"What's this?" I asked.

"It's a replica of a real Dutch house," she explains. "Full of liquor. It's a free gift."

"Are you friggin' kidding me?"

"I am not friggin' kidding you, it's a complimentary gift, part of KLM's Journeys of Inspiration line."

I felt like I was in that "Seinfeld" episode where Jerry gets upgraded to first class.

Did you know there's a closet in business class? You can actually hang your coat on a hanger and kick your shoes into the closet. Then the attendant brings it to you upon landing.

Then when you land they hold everyone in coach so that the first- and business-class passengers can exit the plane first. You are truly treated like royalty ... before they turn you loose on the mean streets of New York City where it smells like poop and everyone treats you like the nameless, faceless, unemployed schmuck you truly are.

But for a few hours ... I was a Business Class God!