Lemondrop

Mimi Goes CrayCray
Could another nervous breakdown be in store for Mariah Carey? If her acceptance speech at the Palm Springs Film Festival is any indication, the answer might be "yes." The diva was slurring and appeared drunk. (via DListed)

Paris May Wed in '10
Paris Hilton claims that she is ready to settle down and that 2010 might be the year. The heiress claims her current boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, has taught her to be more "domestic." Barf. (via Perez Hilton)
Eli's Vacation: What a Pain
"Inglourious Basterds" hottie Eli Roth got pretty banged up during a recent trip to Mexico. After being upended by a wave while kayaking, the actor tried to climb to safety on a rock covered by prickly sea urchins. Umm, ouch! (via TMZ)
Prison Tats
Katie Holmes supposedly wants a tattoo of her husband's name to prove her devotion to him. We're not exactly sure what it will read, but given his nutty nature, "Property of Tom Cruise" seems likely. (via Celebslam)
Dog Fight
The cops were called to Tila Tequila's house over a scuffle with Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips involving Casey Johnson's dogs. Tila, the late heiress's girlfriend, refused to turn the pooches over to Casey's two friends. (via E Online)
Motormouth: Ke$ha
"I wouldn't say I'm gay or straight -- I don't like labeling things anyways. I just like people." -- singer Ke$ha, trying to drum up publicity for her soon-to-be-released debut? (via The Hollywood Gossip)