The New Year is off to a bittersweet start for Neenah Pickett. The New Jersey media consultant, 43, spent all of 2009 searching for love and not finding it. Still, Pickett emerged with hope and pride intact.
At her Web site "52 Weeks 2 Find Him," she chronicled her dozens of dates and introduction to online dating and social networking sites -- her message being that finding the love of your life should take work.
"I did not put any effort into dating and went on two first dates in 14 years," she said of her past approach. "I thought, 'If I give all my effort like I do in my career and other areas of my life, will that make a difference?'"
Pickett included video posts and interviews with successful couples and dating experts and tackled topics like knowing when to throw in the towel. She also gave herself weekly challenges like going to church outings and barn dances.
"I wanted to really explore not just meeting guys, but understanding marriage," she said. "It was more about how to have something healthy and happy."
Click here to read more about Neenah's love search
At first, Pickett struggled with how open to be about her dates on her site. She also had to grow a thick skin to ward off nasty commenters. Updating and managing the blog was one of the hardest parts of the entire experience.
"It was definitely an adventure for me," she said. "I think people looked at it and thought I was obsessed with it. I had vacations and friends and work."
Pickett's efforts garnered attention from the media and struggling single women around the world. She also connected with like-minded women on Facebook and says their support was one of her favorite parts of her journey.
But not everyone praised Pickett. Lisa Abbie Paz, LMFT, PhD, a therapist in Miami, commends her "effort and willingness to be open minded," but cautions against trying too hard.
"... Mr. Right can be in the most unlikely of places and faces," Dr. Paz said. "That said, Neenah's mission including being overly diligent about dating and setting a time limit of one year seems rather restrictive. Instead I would encourage people to adopt Neenah's overall attitude, but perhaps not at the same pace or with the same definitive deadline."
Pickett has actually vowed to take a break from dating in 2010. But she still believes love is out there.
"I don't know how I'll feel at the end of 2010. In 2011, I won't continue at the pace I did, but I will continue being proactive. I won't be one of those passive people. I don't think it's true to who I am."
What do you think of Pickett's efforts to find love? Do you or would you ever publicize your quest for "the one"?
More Good Stuff
Should You Have Sex in the Office? (Lemondrop)
Movie Trailer has 12-Year-Old saying the C-Word, firing a gun (Lemondrop)
Stop looking for the G-Spot, guys! It's fake! (OR IS IT?) (Lemondrop)
Books for the Recently Dumped (Lemondrop)












Comments:
Add a comment
Wednesday 06 January
By Shana
She looks very attractive and she wants a good man, well so do we. I refuse to advertise or join a dating service. First of all, I would be uncomfortable, second would be very leery to date a stranger, although these dating services claim to do background checks, etc., and there is a few hundred fee, which is fine. I think one should go about their business, go to places you are familiar with, go to places where you would have a mutual interest with others. If you have kids, try the local groups for single parents; there is church or temple, taking classes, or a friend knows a new neighbor in town, etc. It is very difficult to find decent person, who is honest, when our world is so me me me, and you never know what nut case is looming outside your front door. One must be very careful - do not have sex for at least a month, never give out personal information, don't loan money, just be smart as a whip, and smile and ask questions. Never judge first on a photo, which may be old or not his to begin with. You can compromise on age, occupation, but some things are a must such as race, religion and heritage. Good luck BUT BE CAREFUL.
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By Sandran712
I never believed in love at first sight, but I do now. I will be divorced very soon and because my new sweetie's birthday is the same as mine, we plan to marry on "our" birthday this year.
Wait on the Lord and TRUST Him.
Sandran712>.Thanks Dorothy..I don't believe in love at first sight.Because when I once had this he died 2002.We were never married.But,I do believe people make dumb choices just because they don't want to be alone.But, even back then I sensed he was not going to be around for me.I was right.I think my intuition gets in the way of finding someone too.
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By eric
Just cant wait, like YOU suggested. Wait until the ink is dry on your first marraige before you marry your new "honey" You women are crazy. You think its like in the movies. Listen SISTER. This is your hint from the LORD. WAIT!!! Best wishes, Eric
Wednesday 06 January
By Owen White
Perhaps I could help some of you out. (women) There is a saying "When A Man finds a wife he finds a good thing" . Having lived around the world, I once considered myself able to acesss to any women. She was lured by conversation, money or my support of her ideas of life. I became their partner first. Usually in business. Which often resulted in love for oneanother. Because I was married I could not engage any further. But I learned something that was common with the hundred's of women that I came in contact with thru business. That women where not GOOD HUNER'S. Many asked, how do I secure a Man Like You. My anwser was" You Don't." He will find you. Stay Ready. Need more info. Email ME!
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By Lisac
So many folks these days are looking for a partner. Most women refuse to date, They believe DATE = SEX. Dating is the time two people take to get to know one another and does not have to include SEX. Also during DATING, the other person NORMALLY also dates others. For most women, this is unacceptable. If a woman is dating, she expects exclusive rights. No one ENJOYS DATING anymore. Dating is FUN ladies. Men are a hoot! Men make you laugh. Men bring joy and a male perspective on life to add to your own. Men are good company and can be good friends. If the only purpose in dating is with the thought in mind that there are EXPECTATIONS, then you have lost the whole concept of DATING! If a woman dates and hops into bed with the man she is seeing and then gets angry because he is not ready to be in a committed relationship with someone he does not know (a STRANGER), the woman gets angry and either dumps him or becomes a whiny, angry, unhappy and unpleasant person to be around. When the guy starts to avoid her she hates him. Women think that by appearing sad and pathetic, some man will take pity on her and want to protect and fix her sadness. Men HATE sorrow, sadness and when they feel pity for anything, Men want to turn their backs and walk away. DESIRE dwindles when PITY appears. Also, if you do not love yourself, no one else will love you. Because you love someone does not mean that person is required to love you back. Love is not given with requirements attached. Women need to have a LIFE, friends, and an occupation. WOMAN DOES NOT LIVE BY MAN ALONE. ! Tunnel vision is a bad thing when your entire life revolves around some man who is busy with his own life and has made you a part of it never suspecting that you have made him your ENTIRE life. Make men a PART of your life. Women need to have the self confidence and self reliance to DATE. Leave the sex for after you get to know him. If sex is the goal, then find a sex partner to satisfy those urges while you look for husband material. Ladies, DATING means the guy calls you and asks you out to DINNER or a MOVIE or a Ballet or Play. DATING is not going over to some mans place and cleaning or cooking and having sex nor is it coming over to your place to eat, watch TV and have sex. Men need to bring flowers, call a few days ahead. Women, NEVER get PREGNATE to trap a man. TAKE BIRTH CONTROL. IF IT MAKES YOU SICK, IMAGINE HOW A LIFETIME OF BEING A MOTHER AND THE SOLE SUPPORT OF CHILDREN WILL MAKE YOU FEEL. A man has the right to choose who he wants to father children by. Never allow a man to talk you into having his baby. If he loves you enough to want you to have his baby, he will love you enough to marry you and be around to help raise that baby. I see so many women who have several children, all by different men. It is as if when each man comes into her life she believes that if she has a baby by that person it will make him stay. After a child or two, the woman's chances of finding a man who will want both her and her children really dwindles. Decide what you want in a mate and then be the woman to get a man with those qualifications. If you want a wealthy businessman, then you either need a darn good education or beauty enough to catch his eye. If you want a tattooed muscleman, then I guess you need to visit the local tattoo parlor and work out. Ask yourself, "what do I expect from a man I intend to marry? How will our lives be? Do I want a man who wants children? Do I want a man who will be a good father and husband, spend time with the children, love to take vacations and trips with the wife? Do I like good guys or bad boys? Will my babies like bad boys for fathers? Women need to be more practical. Does he have an education? Does he have a job? Does he introduce me to his friends, family? How well do I know him? How many wives has he had? How many illegitimate children dos he have? Does he refer to the women in his life as "Mah Babies Mama's"? Does he have Bi-Sexual tendencies? Do you have Bi-Sexual tendencies? Is he Gay? I hear from so many women who are in love with guys who are GAY. Ladies, they don't change their preferences. Is he kinky? If so, are you? If not, HE WON"T CHANGE! The last and biggest issue is "He will change after we are married" belief. NOPE! No one changes after they are married and if those are your expectations then the man obviously does not FIT your idea of the man you want anyway. Why in the world does anyone want to change someone else? I equate that to CONTROL ISSUES! Last but not least, "There are no Guarantee's in Marriage". I have known people to be married for 20 - 50 years, wake up and discover their partner is Gay or likes teenagers or needs to be chained and whipped. This is devastating. Men as well as women lie about who they are and what they want when they are forming a relationship. Sometime men can be in your life and enrich that life without being in your house. I like a man in my life, just not in my house. Tennessee Granny
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By concept59
I don't know what her problem would be... She's a real cutie, and the look in her eye says, "watch out, I'm smart and can spot a phoney a mile away"... Would date her in a heart beat...
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By mjkkota
I don't think posting about finding love as she did is for me. I just don't think that's the healthiest way to go about it. Look at The Bachelor and The Bachelorette ...how many of them who went about it in a public way are still together? When you do find your love and want to have a healthy relationship don't forget about your finances...that's one of the top problems among couples. I love this website SMARTMONEYMOM.ORG for tips and advice on creating budgets, saving money, managing credit, paying down your mortgage, savings deals/rebates and coupons, lists of free sites to take surveys and do secret shops to make a little extra money and more!
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By bawannajack
Dear, you are wayyyyyy pathetic!
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By Get Naked
All us men want is to get LAID! thats it! if you wont do it we will find a woman that will.Why do you think there are so many prostitutes?Look at Tiger Woods.He had a MODEL.He got hookers to satisfy him.NEVER say no to us and we wont stray.otherwise we will.Sad but true.no go get naked for someone :)
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By amazed
"Actually, there are very few really good men... the guy cheats, passion fades, etc...."
wow - there are as many (or few) "really good men" as there are women!
and don't forget - women cheat too!
sexist.
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By Marshall
It is a real jungle of sorts out there. Alot of competition amongst adults
these days. You have to weed out alot of unsuitable and incompatible
people in our various searches. Kind of like looking for an apartment in
city where the vacancy rates are at the low end of the scale. It is a supply and
demand type of scenario ou tthere right now. We are also quite nomadic
and tend to move around a fair amount . Some cities in the USA and in
the world are great for networking and finding a soulmate, while other cities
are not so good because some places are just typically much harder to
find someone compatible. Dont forget that common interests and hobbies
are the most important foundation in any new friendship. Sign for up classes,
going back to school is a natural way of networking.
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By Sandran712
Steve>>>, but I do very well ... im very handsome and women are so interested in me when we meet... then I tell them that im disable and they run off ............... I am very lucky and I have a great income but they never stick around long enough to find that out
Sandran712>>I understand everything you say..My son has disabilities.And this is why I cannot meet anyone.They see my son and run off.I guess people are just so damnn rude and ignorant.You can fix ugly... you can't fix ignorant.I relate to people more in the disability community than in the real world.The real world is just plain senseless and rude.My son can't even talk..He is 24 and so I know all too well in the disability community.If being unmarried at 46 is wayy too hard to stomach.It's alot easier to handle than what we are dished out on a daily basis..
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By Joel
I think Neenah is making the typical mistake some women make. She is looking for the perfect man and there is no such thing. I haven't visited her website but I would bet she has a long laundry lists of things the love of her life should have and if dude does not meet every criteria stringently then he gets the boot. Some advice - love happens. It is not planned like a career. The old clique applies "stop looking and love will find you". She is 43 years old, a good career and georgous looking...I hardly think the problem in finding a husband lies with the potential husbands but rather within herself.
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By Dee
The Bible says, Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. Proverbs 18:22. Wait on the Lord for a husband.
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By indi
Dear God,
Maybe you have been a little busy with other singles, but please turn your attention this way. I have been waiting for over 15 years for your attention.
I am a 38 year female, heterosexual looking for a straight, SINGLE, honest man who will treat me with respect. I'm not looking for money, but simple things in life, a person who will care for me, and where we can build a beautiful life together. Also, I'm looking for a family oriented person, who is educated, and is holding a job.
Amen
Wednesday 06 January
By Linda
I heard that Dave Price from the Today Early Show/CBS is looking for someone. Have you gone out him?
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By Ricardo
I totally sympathize with the lady. 100M adults in America are single and finding and maintaining a lasting relationship has never been more complex.
I really recommend 'Single" a documentary film I saw recently www.singlefilm.com. It really explains whats going in an informative and humorous way.
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By lesleyab70
I like Neenah was alone for many years and thought I would never find my soul mate. But in 2007 on Halloween ( I was dressd up...lol), I gave a guy a ride with a carpool friend and knew I wanted to meet him again. 4 weeks later it turned out that we had a mutual friend in common and I seen him again and now it's 2 years later and we are still kicking it. We had many ups and downs but we both hung in here. We are 7 years apart and this is my first younger man. He is my soul mate. I wasn't looking and found him. Don't have high expectations because you won't find him. Find someone you can actually build/rebuild with. Good Luck on your journey but he will come when you don't expect him to.
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By matty
Is she looking strickly for an African American male? Good luck, they rarely get married and always have other women on their cell or buddy list......holla
Reply
Wednesday 06 January
By yes
She is not picky. Like me, she wants to find someone normal. At least, that is all I want. Honest, good, kind, empathetic, etc. I guess if you call that picky then I am. They are not out there. I have yet to meet anyone that did not want something from me. As per the 40's being too late, that is ridiculous. What wrinkles? She is really pretty. Besides which, there is already stuff out there that prevents aging. It's never too late, and you don't know what you want till you are in your 30's and 40's. It's obvious you won't meet anyone online. Hello ^ the post above. I don't know if they exist. I am divorced, cause I would not allow him to verbally and physically abuse me, and I stopped looking as well, and now I avoid looking entirely. I just don't believe conscionable men exist. I would be a valuable commodity to that person, and likewise, and have yet to feel valued by anyone.
Reply