One of the best parts of having a platonic guy friend is having a go-to for the male perspective. And now I'm going to share my guy friend, Peter, with the world -- by answering your questions and then getting his take."I've been single for quite a while now. Even though I go out with my friends on the weekend, I've found guys aren't as willing to come up to talk with me as they once were. Is it time I took things into my own hands and approached the men I'm interested in, or are the dudes not approaching me because they're not interested? And if it's up to me to be the ballsy one, what's the best way to do it?"
Kristen: Seeing that it's no longer the 1950s, I'd say if you wanted a guy bad enough, then it's obviously fine to make the first move. But being a shy gal myself, I can definitely see why you're apprehensive. If you're nervous about totally throwing yourself out there, take into consideration the vibes you're giving out to guys. Maybe they're intimidated to come up to you because you're surrounded by a group of your hot friends or maybe you are coming off a little bitchy and not smiling as much as you should be, without even realizing it. Tweaking your body language and your approachability can totally change how guys perceive you.
Peter: Yes, definitely make yourself seem approachable! Guys might not be coming up to you when you're out because there's this invisible force field fueled by the d-bag dudes at the bar, so girls are always on the defense and have their guards up and the nice men know this. And if you're not all that confident with going up to a guy, a small smile is huge and the hottest thing ever. It's like saying "I know you're looking at me and I want you to talk to me but in no way am I coming over there but I might meet you half way at the bar" without actually saying it.
Kristen: Ah, yes, a sly smile and the ever-so-subtle, non-creepy mutual glance supposedly works every time. But, If you do have the confidence to go up to a guy, more power to you, sister. And if it takes a drink to give you a little boost, so be it!
Peter: But you have to do it with some tact, don't lay on your confidence too thick because we can smell right through it, and you don't want to come off fake. Find something to bond over immediately, like making a joke about someone in the bar, or a comment about the bartender. And make sure you speak up and speak clearly, because having to say "what" every other minute is the worst and it just gets awkward. Let's face it, you aren't going to the bar alone -- and if you are you probably have no chance, because that's just weird -- so you need to look for signs he's into you. It would take a lot for me to leave my friends to hang out with you all night and vice versa, so if I did, take the hint that I want things to go further!
Tell us: Have you ever made the first move? Any tips?
Kristen Rollins blogs about relationships for Lemondrop and, being single herself, is waiting to approach Mr. Right (Now) at the next bar she visits. Peter Fertiguena runs Academy Printwear. He doesn't go to bars alone, which means you can try and hit on him as much as you'd like.




















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Wednesday 17 February
By Lindsay
I got tired of waiting around for guys to come to me, so I decided I was going to take charge of my own line and ask guys out. So I did, and you know what? It never worked out. Even the barista who was so obviously flirting with me - I decided he was taking to long, so I gave him my number, and he never called back. And I'm pretty sure I haven't just been 'coming on too strong."
From my experience, I just really don't think it works. I think that while women may go out with someone the initially aren't so interested in, guys will not give a woman a chance if he does feel something right away.
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Saturday 17 July
By Common Sense
I've never had a problem with a woman making a move but the thing is that she doesn't really have to risk anything & I think that's what most women seem to think. If you like a guy or find him cute smile or something & we'll be happy to take it from there in most cases. And sometimes you may have to smile a few times so we confirm your directing it to us verses the muscle head or Tattooed guy next to us but you don't have to really do anything else. Sure it's nice & helpfull when you wave or say hi once your smile has gotten our attention but you don't have to really risk anything. Nice guys have confidence & like approaching you but we also don't want to take risks or waste your time if your not interested but we can't read minds one way or the other & particularly if your above average we'll probably error on the side of caution that we'd be wasting your time saying hi or asking for the time. So if you do find an average joe or nice guy it does't hurt anyone to smile if your open to him saying hi & that goes for anyone no matter where on someone's overly inflated & often unrealistic scale of beautiful one might fall. Just smile if your open to us saying hi, pretty risk free if you ask me.
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