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Rose Guardian Lipstick KnifeDidn't get everything you wanted for the holidays this year? How about treating yourself to an adorable kitty keychain whose ears transform into a weapon capable of taking someone's eye out? Or ringing in the New Year with The Screecher personal air horn? Looking to compliment your slammin' New Year's Eve outfit with a hot accessory? Consider a demure Taser C2 in your choice of pink. Nothing says "party" like debilitating a potential attacker.

Online self-defense product retailers are tapping into the perceived need to be feminine while also kicking butt. Sites like Rose Guardian even go so far as to provide a selection of "Think Pink" items, dedicated to showcasing knives and stun guns in ladylike, pastel tones. Lord knows it's imperative to look dainty while incapacitating someone with a pink stun gun that resembles a cell phone.

"We focus on the needs of today's working-class women, single women and a variety of groups including victims of domestic abuse, victims of stalking and every woman who simply needs to feel safer by providing products for home safety, self-defense and protection that are practical, dependable and affordable," explains the company's comprehensive Web site. Evidently, those needs include looking cute while TCB.

Consider the Lipstick Surprise. The surprise isn't that it perfectly matches your skin tone, but that it's a 3-inch lipstick case that holds a 1-1/4-inch stainless steel blade, perfect for shanking someone trying to rob you in the ladies room. While you're in there, fix your coif with the Comb Defender, which provides "the functionality of the pocket comb with the security of a quality 3-1/2-inch blade if you need it." Just make sure you don't try to style and stab at the same time.

For those embarking on a career as a grown-up Veronica Mars or who have the need for some covert recording devices, Rose Guardian also offers cameras in the form of car alarm fobs and fashion watches that double as audio-recording devices.

"We're going to be opening up an online store strictly for infidelity," Carlos Crespo, owner of Rose Guardian, told Cleveland Scene. Rose Guardian also operates a retail shop in Cleveland where "women can come in, make a decision, touch the product, feel the product and make a decision from that," Crespo told onntv.com.

Sadly, as of yet, they don't stock the tampon stun gun, which is perhaps the ultimate in "feminine protection."




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