Lemondrop

Amy Spencer is a dating expert and the author of "Meeting Your Half-Orange: An Utterly Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match" (out in February 2010, Running Press). We asked her the dating questions that continue to baffle us.

We ask: What are your tips for the first date?

Amy answers: As far as what to wear, try to give a completely fair impression of yourself. Don't try to be "too" anything. Don't dress too refined, too sexy, too hip. The whole point is to be liked and appreciated for who you really are, not who you want him to think you are. If you're in an outfit or makeup or hairstyle you're not comfortable wearing, it will show in your body language.

For instance: Don't wear heels so high you don't want to walk in them -- what if he wants to take a stroll after dinner? But do wear the heels that make you feel fab and sexy. Don't wear your hair pulled back tight in a pony or bun that women might think is awesome, but that hides the hair guys want to see. Do let it down so your guy can imagine what it will feel like to run his hands through it later.

As far as how to behave, go with a positive attitude and let that show.

Don't try to be too cool. Be yourself. Be stoked! Whatever happens on your date, if you're determined to get something positive out of it, you will. And that will come off during the date. He'll be able to sense that. Talk about your day, ask about his.

The idea, in a way, is to follow the conversation guidelines you'd use if you were meeting with, say, a potential boss. Don't talk about your ex-boyfriends, your sexual fantasies, the last time you drank so much you puked or anything else you wouldn't tell someone you want respecting you tomorrow. Don't be a Debbie Downer -- the more positive and friendly and easy-going you are, the more the person across from you will want to be around you.

Amy Spencer has written for Glamour, New York, Harper's Bazaar, Page Six Magazine and Match.com among other publications. She is the former host of the relationship call-in radio show "Sex Files" on Sirius satellite radio's Maxim channel, and also created and writes for The Dating Optimist.com.