Amy Spencer is a dating expert and the author of "Meeting Your Half-Orange: An Utterly Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match
" (out in February 2010, Running Press). We asked her the dating questions that continue to baffle us.
Where are the best places to meet nice guys?
The short answer is anywhere. I say that because if someone asked where they could run into you, you'd think about all the places you go: the grocery store, the gas station, the yogurt place, the wine bar a few blocks from your house. Nice guys are in places like that, too. They're everywhere.
In a way, the question is "How do you avoid meeting guys who aren't going to be nice to you?" And there's a simple answer for that too: You avoid meeting not-nice guys by not looking for them late at night in a bar or club or party when you're going balls out -- i.e., you probably won't meet a nice guy when you're wasted in a bar at 2 a.m.
Nice guys might be there but they're not, for the most part, the ones stalking the room for the drunk girl they can take home.
They are, however, in those places you go every day.
Your best bet is to start keeping your eyes open in those places where people tend to linger
: The coffee shop. The cafe. The not-freakishly-packed sports bar or restaurant where guys will sit for three hours to watch a big game. The bookstore. These are the places where nice guys are relaxed, maybe looking around, and might be open to a conversation. (Men may be on the train platform, too, but it's hard to catch one's eye when they're running to climb on the train before the doors close.)
And the cliché of "doing things you're interested in" is a cliché for a reason. It's true. If you like skiing, go skiing and see if there are any nice guys there. If you like doing yoga or climbing rock walls or browsing a guitar shop, then do those
things, with your eyes open for guys. Because if you do find a nice guy there, you know you already have one big thing in common, which is a great start to a positive dating relationship.
Amy Spencer has written for Glamour, New York, Harper's Bazaar, Page Six Magazine and Match.com and is the former host of the relationship call-in radio show "Sex Files" on Sirius satellite radio's Maxim channel. She also created and writes for The Dating Optimist.com.