Ever think about doing the Master Cleanse, just out of curiosity? Well, I did, so you don't have to.
For the uninitiated, the Master Cleanse is a 10-day (more or less) fast that's been around since 1941; some guy named Burroughs came up with the whole idea. You basically consume nothing (meaning you fast) but this lemon juice / maple syrup / cayenne pepper / tea thing (it's actually a pain in the ass to make) in an effort to cleanse your system of toxins and/or lose weight.
The cleanse also claims to cure disease and fix all sorts of ailments. The cleanse got a lot of buzz when Beyoncé used it to slim down for the movie "Dreamgirls," so I assure you it's very chic.
So here's how it went.
I decided that the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas would be the perfect time to do the cleanse since it would keep me from bulking up on holiday treats.
When you're on the Master Cleanse everyone who has ever been on the Master Cleanse gets excited.
"What day are you on?"
"Do you feel clear? I felt so clear."
"My sense of smell was so intense when I did the cleanse."
"It got rid of the pain in my back."
"Are you doing the salt flush?"
"I wasn't hungry at all."
"How much weight did you lose?"
Well, I did all 10 days so I thought I'd give you my take on the Master Cleanse. It's actually the morning of the 11th day as I write this so I get to have some orange juice today and soup tomorrow. (That's how you are supposed to ease back into eating when you are done with the cleanse. )
I didn't feel clear; I just felt kind of dull. I was tired most of the time and a little bit cold. I just wanted to lay on the sofa under a big blanket for 10 days.
My sense of smell is intense, but that just means that I smell food. When you're not eating, you smell all the food in a 2-mile radius. You smell bread baking, peanuts roasting and coffee brewing. I smell everything my neighbors are cooking. I smell food when there's no food around. I smell the ghost of food.
I haven't noticed any major changes in my body or less pain or anything, and I do have a few pains. They are happily still here for me to complain to my boyfriend about.
And I also did the salt flush. This is something nobody tells you about but every morning you drink a couple glasses of salt water and then take a laxative tea and wait ... Until about 30 minutes later, when the salt water and the tea come shooting out of you, flushing your colon clean. This part of the cleanse TOTALLY SUCKS. The salt water makes you want to puke and you have to be near a toilet for about two hours, which means you have to get up really early for this part.
Most of all: YES, I WAS HUNGRY. I thought about food nonstop for 10 days ... but I didn't eat it. I can't believe I went 10 days without eating. What the Master Cleanse does give you is a massive sense of accomplishment. Though I'm glad I did it, I don't think I'll ever do it again. But it was interesting to try once.
My pooper feels super-clean. There's nothing left in me at this point.
I lost 10 lbs.
So there you have it. I try it so you don't have to. I'd love to hear about your experience with the Master Cleanse -- so leave a comment below and tell me!
More Good Stuff on the Web:
Gift giving disasters -- Don't make the same mistakes these boyfriends did (Lemondrop)
22 awesomely terrible Christmas Sweaters (Maxim)
Crazy and unbelevable manicures from The Tokyo Nail Expo (The Frisky)
The secret to never being jealous in relationships (AskMen)
Inner monologue of a Twilight fan (HolyTaco) (site NSFW)
Awkward Holiday Dinners -- how to cope (Lemondrop)
What are the long-term effects of casual sex? (Lemondrop)
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Friday 11 December
By Andrea
I did it too. I did it after my birthday this past summer and I figured I should cleanse from all the crap I ate then. I'm glad I did it, but man, I'll never do it again. The colon cleanse was the worse part. For me, the first few days were the easiest, the last few were the worst. I was so angry, haa haa! Also, my digestiive problems as well as my sinus problems went away, but of course, now that I actually eat, they're back. But what I did learn was that I really didn't need that much food to get full or satisfied. But have I learned my lesson about being full? Um, no. I too lost 10 pounds and was looking pretty good and reaching my weight loss goal, but now its the holidays and after 2 trips to places where food is plentiful and delicious, I've gained at least 5 pounds back. Not bad, eh? But yeah, I'm never doing it again. Its just not worth it. Also, I hated cayenne pepper before I started and now I can't even *think* about it with wanting to vomit.
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Saturday 12 December
By Celeste
And you're probably back to eating burgers and fries. I hope you didn't do this as a weight loss fad. It's only for cleansing the toxins out of your body,which you an do just by cutting out meat,especially red meats,white breads,fried foods,dairy and getting off your butt and doing some cardio and/or yoga,preferably both. If you did this for weight loss,that's stupid. Diets are for suckers.
Friday 11 December
By vichica
I did the Master Cleanse for 2 days. My migraines were so bad that I had to stop or call in sick. The latter wasn't an option.
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Friday 11 December
By Julia
I did the Master Cleanse once, I only lasted 3 and 1/2 days. I was cold and hungry, though not as hungry as I thought I would be. It also felt like my brain wasn't working quite right - sort of the feeling you get when you haven't gotten enough sleep.
I also did the salt water flush, which was the absolute worst part of the whole thing. It was supposed to act as a mild laxative and just flow right through you, but instead, my body was able to digest it and I just became more bloated than I have ever been in my entire life. I mean SOOOO bloated. I usually have a 25 inch waste, but for a few hours afterwards I looked pregnant.
Lost 8 pounds though, and gained back 3 after it was over.
Seriously though, If you really have to starve yourself to loose weight fast, do it the more delicious way and just eat 800 calories of a delicious sandwich everyday instead of 800 calories of gross lemonade.
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Friday 11 December
By Edie
I did it. And it was the longest 3 hours of my life.
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Friday 11 December
By ED
10 in 10 days? In late 1988 @ age 30, I lost 29 pounds in 11 days. It was intense workouts that did the trick with normal food consumption at the same time. From 178 to 149 in 11 days & witnessed by many.
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Friday 11 December
By Michael
I am a personal trainer and losing 10 pounds in 10 days is very unsafe. You should see a doctor and get checked out. I am sure you have lost vital minerals, fats and many nother items the body needs. Anyone who would do this to their body should have their head examined. Just to make sure there is a brain in there.
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Friday 11 December
By Shannon
More to the point Michael, anyone who would do this to their body and then blog about it and call it "very chic" should have their head examined...
Friday 11 December
By holly313j
Did the cleanse, 10 days. It tasted awful I went through food take out menus circling everything I wanted to eat when I was done cleansing. Took an herbal tea that gave me cramps from hell followed by the worst bowel movements known to man or beast. This is such an awful idea. On the 10th day I became so ill that I was in bed for a week. Lost weight but gained it all back as it's mostly water weight that you'd lose eating a proper diet anyhow. Recently moved back to the big city...I walk everywhere and eat properly, I've lost 15 pounds in 4 months and feel bette than I have in years. Your body cleanses itself and to adequately lose weight and keep it off, you shouldn't count on starvation or some awful mixture to include maple syrup and cayenne pepper.
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Monday 14 December
By roxie
I did it for ten days as I taught aerobics four of the ten, I lost ten pounds too,the salt water was the worst part for me, I actually liked the pepper in the drink. I enjoyed the detox because Im allergic to milk and needed a good cleaning, dont remember much about my mental state but i do remember being scared afterwards because I couldn't stop losing weight and was getting too small, so in all I believe I lost more like twelve, thirteen pounds, but like everybody else i gained it all back and some. I thought about doing it again, just cant bring myself to start.
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Friday 11 December
By Vampira
I am also a Personal Trainer and what works is eating lots of fruits and vegetables-3-4 ounces of a lean protien with dinner and lower your carbs-complex only-only use a little olive oil/Pam spray/nothing fried/no sauces unless you make it-lower sodium.drink lots of water-and train upper body with weights/cardio/lower body with weights-alternate each day.I recommend the Body for Life program go to their website all the info is there and it is free.I went from 170 to 122 in 3 months I really worked my thighs on the squat rack they are the largest muscles in the body and burn fat and calories like crazy especially at rest.
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Friday 11 December
By thecutestkitty
I agree with you. The Body for Life is a smart ,sensible way to get a firmer and leaner body,
Friday 11 December
By wurknews
you have to keep it moving:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIIX8L90xFo
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Saturday 12 December
By dlc
I have done the cleanse and I have to say it was one of the best things I've ever done. Yes, it was difficult, and uncomfortable at times...but fasting goes back centuries. Fasting used to be a regular part of life, it's all over the Bible and still a part of some holiday traditions. it's the body's natural way to release toxins, maintain a healthy body weight and also to give the digestive organs a chance to relax after all the processed foods we put in our bodies now. Any study of nature will see that fasting is a normal part of the life cycle for most animals. Granted bears don't have to hold down a 9-5 job on no calories, but they do fast for almost two entire seasons.
And colon cleansing was also very popular and mainstream until just a few decades ago...anyone remember our daily doses of castor oil from our moms?
The medical monopoly today has spent billions of dollars trying to convince people that inexpensive treatments like fasting or using vitamins are 'bad' for us, because they can't make any money off it. Why let people become unconstipated with 10 cents of sea salt, when they can charge you almost 10 dollars for some over the counter crap that will usually not be as efficient.
People who advise against fasting are either people who haven't done it-
or people who have something to lose by other people taking control of their own health inexpensively.
And btw, yes the sea salt flush can be unnerving at first? But just like anything else....going to the gym, eating more vegetables...your body begins to not only acclimated to it...but enjoy it after a while.
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Saturday 12 December
By cali
There is nothing wrong with the master cleanse. If you do it to lose weight then yes you are wrong, the master cleanse if done correctly is safe, it's been around for many years. It helps some people with headaches or other health problems and for the people that have headaches within the first 2 days, yes it's expected because you are not used to it and plus you're body is trying to get rid of toxins. Most people do the master cleanse without really knowing what it's about, so therefore do not properly prepare for this so most quit or do not do the cleanse in the proper way. Although you will lose weight, This is not about losing weight and if you do it solely to lose weight then you are doing this for the wrong reasons. Like one of the ladies in the comments wrote, she learned she did not have to eat so many portions just to get full etc.
If people continue to eat mc donalds and all the other junk that's out there for years then prepare to get colon cancer and all the other junk we get in this country, now those are people that need to get their head examined. If you read up on the master cleanse ingredients, its not just lemonade, cayenne pepper and maple syrup, its using grade b organic maple syrup and it has plenty of nutrients in their, this is not to be done for more than 10 days though, its to serve a purpose which is to cleanse. I've done it a few times and I enjoy it but I also know how to do it the correct way. I also limit or use the salt water flush because although I will be going to the bathroom a lot, ahhh getting rid of most of the junk, toxins, etc, it will not be as harsh, it really depends how much you use, I do either the mild laxative or the salt water flush not both !.. it's too harsh and it won't be that bad, like I said it depends how you follow this but it has worked for me and millions of others.
The Master Cleanse Diet Plan
The Master Cleanse is a detoxifying diet that gets rid of poisons that have built up in your body from years of eating the American diet - what has ultimately caused you to gain those extra pounds. This diet claims to be the fastest and most effective way to lose weight, cut cravings for unhealthy fats and regain the energy you once had during your youth.
The Master Cleanse Diet plan should be done for at least ten days, which is long enough to see changes in your weight and mental state. The first two or three days are always the worst because the toxins from the most recent waste will be eliminated immediately. Be prepared for frequent, runny bowel movements, which could last for up to an hour on the first day. Make sure you plan your day accordingly, so you have the time and facilities to eliminate those toxins!
What makes the Master Cleanse Diet a different weight loss plan?
In essence, the Master Cleanse Diet a fasting plan, since you cannot eat or drink anything other than a special lemonade and laxative tea. It is different from other fasting plans, because you can stay on the Master Cleanse for as long as you like (the plan claims that it has been safely done for up to one month). Once you have completed detoxifying your body, a raw food diet is encouraged.
What is the Master Cleanse Diet plan?
The Master Cleanse Diet is designed to do two things: detoxify the body (The Agitator) and eliminate these toxins from the body before they can be reabsorbed and poison the body once again (The Rinse Cycle). Special lemonade needs to be made and consumed to enable the detoxification. The lemonade consists of fresh squeezed lemon or lime juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and spring or purified water. The maple syrup supplies the sugar needed for energy and needed minerals, since you will not be eating any food. The cayenne pepper breaks up the mucus and dilates the blood vessels. It is estimated that it will cost about $7.50 per day to make the lemonade, as well as the salt water mixture and laxative tea that are also recommended.
If you get sick of the lemonade, you can occasionally have some mint tea to give your taste buds some variety. The Master Cleanse Diet plan promises that you will not feel hungry, but if you do, drinking some extra lemonade or water should eliminate any hunger pain within ten minutes. The rapid weight loss does come with some unpleasant side effects, such as food cravings, irritability, boredom, headaches, fatigue and burning bowel movements.
Typical Day: Before you go to bed the evening before you begin The Master Cleanse Diet, you should drink one cup of herbal laxative tea. Upon awakening the next morning, and for each subsequent morning of The Cleanse phase, drink one quart of water with two teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt, all at once. This is the point at which you will be blessed with the constant desire to eliminate, i.e., where close proximity to a bathroom is required. Throughout the day you should drink six to twelve glasses of the lemonade while on the Master Cleanse Diet plan
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Saturday 12 December
By cali
FYI, if you take hoodia pills while on the cleanse then it won't be as bad, you won't get as hungry and it will be a lil easier to stay on the cleanse, I have more secrets on how to do this so it won't be as bad.. =)
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Saturday 12 December
By cali
and for all you people that say oh, if you want to lose weight then eat right and exercise.. AGAIN, this is not just about losing weight , if it was then yes, go to the gym and eat right, i'm a personal trainer myself so I know about this..
the master cleanse is about cleansing and detoxifying so whoever is talking about oh to lose weight go to the gym etc, then you really do not know the purpose or what the master cleanse is really about and obviously not the writer of the article
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Monday 21 December
By noah
Thank you Cali, for writing something sensible and important. As you know, a lot of people have SO much wrong info about the Master Cleanse and I want to thank for clearing up a lot of the mis-information. There's a great Master Cleanse iphone app, called Master Cleanse. It stays true to Stanley Burrough's book, however included in it is a guide on taking probiotics after the cleanse in order to replenish the good bacteria in the gut. And again, excellent points you made.
Saturday 12 December
By Celeste
You know what you lose in 10 days on this "fast",people? Water weight. That's it. Nothing more. As soon as you begin to eat again you gain the weight back. Most of you out there eat like crap anyway,so of course the weight loss is not going to last. USE YOUR BRAINS!! I've done this a few times,simply as a cleansing,not to lose weight. I was already incredibly healthy anyway. I do yoga several times a week,ride my bike everywhere I go,swim,run. I am a vegan,who tries to eat only organic,as much as possible,and I even lost weight on this fast,but gained it right back. People who are now doing this oh-so-popular cleansing fast,and using it as a new diet fad,are risking making themselves very,very sick. One of the worst things that Beyonce could've done is publicize this fast. Not enough people truly educate themselves about it. IT IS A CLEANSING FAST,NOT A WEIGHT LOSS DIET!!! IT IS MEANT TO CLEANSE YOUR BODY OF TOXINS AND GIVE YOUR DIGESTIVE ORGANS A BREAK!!!! THAT'S IT!!!! WAKE UP,PEOPLE! THE ONLY REAL WEIGHT LOSS IS DIET AND EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!!
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Sunday 03 January
By flotpod
Celeste - it's really awesome that you're so healthy, but what are you going to do about being such a flaming ass-master?