A man in Vietnam has allegedly been tenderly cuddling his wife in his sleep for the past five years. Which is not normal, because A) they're married (rimshot!) and B) she's dead (sad trombone).

According to WeirdAsia "Please Don't Be a Legitimate Source of Information" News, 55-year-old Le Van has been sleeping with the papier-mâché-covered remains of his wife since 2003. (Click the link. There are pictures.) After her death, he began sleeping on her grave. Then he got the ingenious idea to exhume her, encase her remains in plaster, and sleep with them.

The next time your assembled family members want to know why you aren't married yet, just tell them it's because you don't want to potentially end up with a husband who turns you into a human piñata for posthumous spooning.

His children said they were initially repulsed by the idea, but that they've since grown accustomed to it.

The lesson here? If you're married and don't die a magic, simultaneous "Notebook" death, you end up as some Vietnamese Glenn Danzig's body pillow.