Injuries sustained during sex can be both embarrassing and funny, as Kevin Smith captured in one of Chasing Amy's most memorable scenes. But it's a real problem, at least according to the Daily Star, which reports that around 23 million Britons have injured themselves while caught up in the act of passion.So, if half of the adult population of Britain has experienced calamity-ridden sex, it stands to reason that we know a few people
with tales of their own. Thus, we asked around and drew together a few stories of how the act of love can go horribly wrong.
(Since hurting yourself while doing the nasty is not something most folks want to own up to, we're sticking to initials.)
Sinking fastball
"When I was in college, my college boyfriend and I were looking for a place to have sex. We'd already gotten caught having sex in the showers, and the janitor's closet was right across the hall from my room. We snuck in there, but he was about 6'3" so we couldn't do it standing, so I sort of sat in the sink. We had sex and it was awesome, but then the next day I had a bruise the size of a softball on my back from the faucet." -- AJ, 28
The long way down
"I once did a backward roll off the bottom of the bed and fell onto a plastic box of books and bruised my coccyx shortly before going down on my girlfriend. This was in 2003, and she STILL reminds me of it to this day. I was so embarrassed, I just pretended it didn't happen. But apparently I got points for persistence." --KW, 26
No gauze bandage needed
"I have a friend who had so much hard awesome sex that her boyfriend sprained his penis. He had to refrain from sexual activity for a month or two." --AT, 28
Bathing-suit burns
"When I was a teenager, I worked as a lifeguard, so I spent most of my summers running around in a bathing suit. One night, I got off work and went to my girlfriend's house. We started making out and she reached into my shorts. I was about to get my first handjob! She started vigorously rubbing me and I was enjoying it, but something felt off. After the act was completed, I was in immense pain.
"Now ladies may not realize this, but men's bathing suits have a liner inside, made of some kind of webbing material. It's a little rough. While my girlfriend was jacking me off, my penis was rubbing hard against the lining and I was left with a largish bleeding friction burn on the head of my penis. I have a nifty scar and now I cut the lining out of all my bathing suits. If there was a political movement to remove all liners from bathing suits, I'd sign the petition, hand out leaflets, testify before Congress, whatever it took." -- AR, 29
Piercing problems
"Having facial piercings makes even making out reallllly delicate, especially when they are new/first healing. There's just a lot of ooooh ohhh yes WAIT WAIT hold on my nose piercing just popped out. I literally have no idea how people with multiple piercings do it." --SK, 32
Future Olympic gymnast?
"I was in college and seriously dating a guy named Adam. I was his first and I was more than happy to help him explore the wonderful world of sex. My dorm room had bunkbeds and the bunks had a bar that ran across the middle. No one was ever really sure what the bar was for but we guessed it was extra frame support. However, the most popular theory was that it was to prevent the person in the top bunk from falling on you and killing you if the sex got too ruckus and the bed broke, hence, it got nicknamed "the f--k bar".
"Adam and I were trying reverse cowgirl in the bottom bunk and at one point he tried to sit up quickly for some reason and clocked himself on the f--k bar. He knocked himself out and cut his scalp which bled everywhere. I ended up having to take him to the ER for an X-ray, CT, and stitches." --SN, 31
Falling in love (is hard on the knees)
"Sometimes I fall in love during sex, and falling hurts. Does that count?" -- CG, 28
Yes, CG, it definitely does.
Tell us: Do you have your own embarrassing stories toshare, emotionally or physically? Let us know in the comments!












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Friday 11 December
By Bob
GREAT STORY - OLD FARTS Like you are awesome dude !!!
Friday 11 December
By Booty
I was w/ this guy and we liked to explore ALOT! we went to a sex store and spent over $300 for our first Valentines Day 2gether. We purchased some flavored lube, a penis pump, and alot of other things. When we brought our bag of goodies home we were doing some forplay when he decided to use some of the lube. He had it all over me, even down there, and decided to go down on me. turns out the lube we had purchased had a desensitizer in it... after a minute or two he lifts his head up to tell me that he can no longer feel his tongue LOL! That paused us for about 5 min, then he decided to use the pump we bought. He put it all the way down on his member, which i thought looked too far, and i started pumping.. apparently it was too close to his balls b/c they got sucked up in the tube!! OMG and if that wasn't bad enough.. I decided that w/ all the mishaps he deserved to lay back and enjoy what I had to offer. It was so good it lasted for almost 3 hours, playing different positions. I'm a heart patient and in the heat of the moment I forgot to think of that... my heart started to race all the way up to a whoppin 288 bph. I ended up in the emergengy room for 5 days and had to have 2 surgeries 3months after that. OMG what a night! We're no longer together, but when we see each other we can't help but to smile and think of that one crazy V-day. It'll never be the same for me, roses just don't cut it.
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Monday 14 December
By MB
Do carpet burns count?
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Friday 11 December
By Boogienights
I used to frequent a cowboy bar met up with a goodlooking cowboy of course one thing led to the other and before we knew it we were having full on sex in his Suburban , well in the heat of passion one of us hit the brake release and the Suburban rolled into a ditch with us in it , the truck was so severly wedged it had to be pulled out by a Semi truck talk about embarrassing and expensive i saw my fling a couple weeks later at a car garage but was so embarrassed i just drove by he saw me though. Didnt see weather he was able to laugh about it yet
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Saturday 12 December
By MS
I was young and had just met the love of my life, so we were like a couple of
jack rabbits, always at it..One over enthusiastic session during anal sex left me with a small tear which made for one uncomfortable summer ,sitting on hard surfaces and bowel movements were unbearable it took a month at least for all to return to normal.
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Friday 11 December
By Keith R. Sauerwald.
One afternoon, my girlfriend and I decided to have rumpy pumpy.....69-ers style. I was thoroughly enjoying her gobbling me off and she was equally enjoying me mouthing around and tonguing her.With my fingers in her garden of eden and her mouth around my lollypop, I gave her a quick firm push with my fingers. Her reaction (instead of opening her mouth and calling out) was that I had actually hurt her and with an involuntary reaction....she bit down. This caused a yelp of pain from both of us.....and I ended up with her teeth marks halfway down my weapon. But, like soldiers of fortune, we battled on until she blew and I blew. There and then, our pain turned to thorough enjoyment. Love ya baby.
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Sunday 13 December
By bacho
me and my now ex-gurlfriend had sex in the lake.....all around peoples..luckly(as far as we know) nobody noticed...and we didn't got sick lol......oh and we did it twice....swear to god that is true story lmao
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Saturday 12 December
By louieking
I have a habit of getting over excited when something feels good... Once my boyfriend was going down on me, and I jerked my pelvis while my hand was on the back of his head, and smashed him in the face. I apologized, he said he was okay.. and continued.. Afterward, he flipped on the light, and his entire face (as well as me and everything else) was covered in blood which had been pouring out of his nose the whole time. What a trooper. :D
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Saturday 12 December
By JP
I once picked up a girl in a Boston Hostel, (whilst backpacking around the US)
and while changing position I managed to punch her in the face and break her nose...
Needless to say, i did not get to finish
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Saturday 12 December
By Pepper
Sad story-
Just today my husband and I were doing it, and I wanted on top, so he got up and was pounding into me while kneeling, and I was responding with some enthusiastic pelvis thrusting, when we both thrust at the same time. We were both just a little off, and he banged it pretty hard into right into my pubic bone. It hurt me a little, but when I pulled away he was curled up on the bed with blood coming out of the tip. Poor guy...He washed it off, but he now has a huge bruise covering the entire head, and I don't think I am going to be getting any for a while! :(
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Monday 14 December
By iloveyoubaby
My boyfriend and I were alone at his house once for several hours. When we walked in the door, we just went at it. We were up against the walls, on the couch, on the floor, on the coffee table, on the stairs, and finally in the bed. Once we finally made it upstairs into his room, we started against the wall, he spun me around and threw me on to the bed, I hit my head off the headboard. That didn't stop us though. We moved from the bed so I wouldn't hurt myself anymore and went on the carpet floor. We both ended up with rug burns on our knees and backs.
After our parents found out about us having sex, we had to do it where they wouldn't be able to find out. That place would be his car. Everytime we do it in there, I hit my head off the back window or the roof of the car.
I think the worst injury for us during sex was when I bruised his face, just above his eyebrow. The bruise didn't last too long and it was gone by the end of the day, but it was just so funny when it happened.
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Monday 14 December
By MR
I was the DD the other night for my boyfriend and his friend as they caught up on old times. They downed pitcher after pitcher and eventually I took them home. My man was extremely horny and decided we must have sex, even though he reeked of beer and could barely keep his balance. He was being so cute and I am a good girlfriend, so I obliged, even though I didn't really expect to get mine with how drunk he was. He went for a longer than I expected and eventually we ended up doggie style. He is much taller than me and fairly muscular. This is a good thing usually, but that night he couldn't keep his balance. His hands kept slipping off my hips and he would end up putting his weight on different parts of my back. Finally, we both came, and as we did so, he fell on me completely. My back was so sore in the morning I had to walk like a little old lady. Bending down to pick things up was excruciating. It's been about 5 days, and I am only now beginning to feel better. To make things worse, it was right before his mom came into town. I've been acting like it doesn't hurt because I don't want to explain how it happened or have to lie. He feels really bad, so he has been wonderful about rubbing arnica oil on it every night.
Lesson learned #1: If he's too drunk to stand up, I should probably be on top.
Lesson learned #2: Wow... He can still get it up and get me off when the room is spinning. This one's a keeper. ;)
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Friday 25 December
By nora
when my boyfriend and i frist started datin we liked to try many new things. one time we bought a lube, well we go home and we try it on me first! he puts it on my breasts and starts licking, it felt really good at first...but then the burning sensation set in!!!( it was a really weird feeling, u know when u eat a mint or cough drop and then drink cold water,but instead it was on my nipples) i pushed him off and tried to rub it off. he didnt believe me and started laughin becasue everything i was doing was not working.so what did i do so he could believe me...i grabbed some and rubbed it on his member!! needless to say a minute later he was running across the room screaming not knowing what to do. turns out it was peppermint flavored lube!!!
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Friday 18 December
By A.D
my ex and i had talked before about having a 3sum in which he would bring a friend of his that i didnt know...about a week had passed and we were home chillin and he told me to go get my shower and stuff like that which wasnt unusual lol i was in the bedroom naked b b he came int he room told me to get on my knees to do him which i happily obliged in the midst of getting him off out of the closet comes this dude who flips me back on the bed and speads my legs wide open and tears both of my inner thigh musles TALK ABOUT PAIN!!! and going to the hospital trying to explain what happened... it's like going straight down into major splits lol it was a while til the next few 3sums with my ex LOL
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Tuesday 22 December
By mallory
One time my bf and i had sex in a stairwell of a business after hours, i didnt realize while it was happening because for the first time sex was feeling great, but i ended up with bruises on my back and scrapes on my knees, feet, and toes. ah. it was worth it but i didnt let him know that :P
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Thursday 24 December
By Mia
Oh the comment stories are too funny! Made my Christmas Eve! I've had some strange positions but, i'm fairly flexiable so no injuries, even when I had sex in the backseat of a car and somehow ended up with my head wedged between the console and the front seat. We opened the door and thought to have him slide out from under me but, the sweat we made during sex made it impossible, plus he was 6'4". Finally he pulled my head out, pushed the front seat forward and slid my upper body across the back of the seat and out the door! I had a skirt on so my naked ass was only naked for a few seconds outside. No one was around. The sweat made his beehind stick to the leather seats so, even with me NOT on top anymore, he had a hard time getting out the backseat, I was laughing soo hard at him and myself, I almost peed!
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Friday 19 March
By Marion
My boyfriend (now husband) was fucking me doggie style. He put his hand on my breasts and pulled me back up against him (kneeling position, my back against his chest). I was letting him hold me up. Suddenly, he let go, and I fell forward, hitting my forehead against the headboard. I was knocked out cold. Ended up in the emergency room!
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