Lemondrop

Granted, sitting around without pants on writing pithy articles for the Internet isn't half-bad, but we think we've found the man with the best job on Earth. Simon Pope: biscuit tester.

Since Simon works in the U.K., we aren't talking about those delicious biscuits meant to be doused in gravy for breakfast. We're talking about cookies.

Every year Simon eats over 7,000 cookies as part of his work. For money. He eats cookies in exchange for cash.

Of course, you can't eat thousands of cookies every year and not turn into a gigantic tub of human goo, so Simon has fashioned himself a "biscuit spitoon," aka the place we want to go swimming more than anywhere else in the world.

In addition to studying the various styles and designs of biscuits from around the world, Simon also gets paid to test biscuits once they've hit the grocery store shelves, often spending upwards of $300 on cookies at a time. Or, as we like to call it, a typical Saturday evening.