From Showtime's "Californication" to VH1's "Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew," sex addiction is all over the place. Because their drug is a natural, human desire, sex addicts are often portrayed as dapper dudes or luscious ladies living fun, exciting lives. But there's nothing glamorous about sex addiction, said to affect 22 million Americans. Lemondrop spoke with two sex addicts about their experiences and recovery.
Marnie's Story
Marnie Ferree, 53, (pictured at right )is a Christian and a preacher's daughter. In her faith community, the idea of a woman being a sex addict was just unfathomable.
But Ferree, a licensed marriage and family therapist knew better: She was having sexual affairs outside her marriage -- she remains married and has two grown children -- and couldn't stop. What initially ushered her to rehab for sex addiction was a diagnosis of cervical cancer caused by HPV in 1991, at a time when few women were in treatment for the disease. But even that wasn't enough to make Ferree quit cold turkey.
"Despite the scary consequence, I was still acting out," admits the Nashville, Tenn., resident. "Even through treatment, I never stopped acting out. It took me a year to get sober and stay sober after beginning counseling."
Ferree eventually entered a 12-step program that helped her work through the root of her problem -- sexual abuse by a family friend from age 5 to 20.
In 2002, she self-published a book about her struggles called "No Stones: Women Redeemed From Sexual Shame," and later appeared on the Discovery Health program "Hypersexual Behavior" and a subsequent "Dateline" special.
Ferree said since sex is everywhere and easily accessible, sex addiction can be very anonymous. The sign to watch for in yourself and others who may be struggling is loss of control over behavior and compulsive behavior.
"This really is not funny," Ferree said. "This is a desperately devastating disease. It absolutely destroys families and lives."
Jennie's Story Sex addiction is defined as "the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex." The addict can't stop the behavior despite negative consequences.
But the disease has more to do with intimacy avoidance than horniness -- sex is used as a substitute for real closeness, as "Sex Rehab" cast member Jennie Ketcham, 26, can attest. Also known as former adult film star Penny Flame, Ketcham always struggled with intimacy. She points to several events -- a traumatic childhood, preteen promiscuity, infidelity, a divorce -- as possible causes.
"I don't think there's any particular event," said Ketcham, who also battles alcohol and drug addiction. "I think it was more just circumstances in my life which led me to use [sex] to protect myself from being hurt and from feeling anything, whether it's pain or joy."
Because she'd walled off so much of herself, entering rehab left Ketcham raw and exposed, "like the first time I'd fallen off my bike."
"I had a tendency to intellectualize my feelings when something started to bubble up. Instead of allowing myself to grieve it, I shut down and said, 'This is why it happened.' Dr. Drew said, 'It's OK, you're just having a feeling. Feelings aren't facts. They pass.'" (Click here to watch a clip of Ketcham on "Oprah.")
Ketcham has been sober for months and is blogging about her recovery at BecomingJennie and writing a memoir. She no longer works in adult film, though she doesn't regret the experience.
"Just because I am a sex addict in recovery doesn't mean that I'm not going to be wild in bed," she explained. "I'm confident in what I want in bed. The part that's significant for me is intimacy."
More From Around the Web...
Real Live Mermaids in Florida (Atlas Obscura)
The secret to never being jealous in relationships (AskMen)
6 Adorable Cat Behaviors With Shockingly Evil Explanations (Cracked)
Lady Gaga's Insane Outfits -- Her Greatest Hits (SheChive)












Comments:
Add a comment
Tuesday 08 December
By bree
~~coughcoughBScoughcough~~
Reply
Monday 07 December
By James
I agree, sex in itself is not the problem. The problem for me started when I started seeking to feed my sexual desires through different types of pornography. Once you get in that hole it is very dificult to get out of it. Especially because it is socially excepted. It is just as bad as drugs, alcohol. over eating etc... Jesus was the one who removed the burning desire in me.
Reply
Monday 07 December
By ghag17
i was addicted to porn once, and it was no laughing matter, contrary to what others may think. i hated myself for doing it and always thought to myself, what would my friends think of me if they knew? i couldn't stop no matter what i tried. i was starting to lose my friends and family, it was destroying my life. i was about ready to kill myself, for what did i have to live for? i finally prayed to Jesus that He would take the addiction and guilt from my life, and He did. if it was not for Him, i would be dead.
Friday 11 December
By Bman
Porn is not a problem, your inability to handle it is. And it is not EXCEPTED by society. It is accepted. Because it is consenting adults doing non-harmful things to each other that our bodies are programmed to enjoy.
Monday 07 December
By barb
She isn't a devout Christian if she has a sex addiction.
Reply
Tuesday 08 December
By anonymous
Yeah I agree. If she was a devout Christian she would not be a sex addict. Just because she is a pastor's daughter does not make her a true Christian. Honestly she even looks sort of like a pervert.
Wednesday 09 December
By Smittie
That is a lie straight from the pit of hell. The most devout Christian in the world is still a sinner. This notion that Christians should or even can live a sinless life is a lie. Even the apostle Paul struggled with sin as he talks about in Romans, chapter 7.
Thursday 10 December
By nrh
Do you know anything about Christianity? It is about being human, having flaws, working on those flaws, and being able to forgive others in addition to yourself...knowing that no matter what God's love is UNCONDITIONAL. Is it really up to you to questions one's Christianity?
Saturday 12 December
By wild bill hager
Devout Christians by definition are Christian...Barb, no offense but Christians are sinners. You sound like you may be the one, other than Christ, who is without sin and therefore can stand in judgement of others (yes, that was sarcasm). I agree, that asking for God's help is key to living a Christ-like life on this earth, but I don't believe that it's your role to judge whether someone is or is not a Christian. That's God's job. Focus on YOUR path to God and judge not others. Your prayers would help, though.
Bill
Friday 11 December
By Jennifer Weeks
"Let he who is perfect cast the first stone." I'm sure even if you are NOT a Christian, Barb, you'll recognize that phrase. Did you know that there are a lot of Christians out there that are struggling with addictions? You make a bad name for Christianity when you make such an ignorant statement. There's no perfect Christian, just perfectly forgiven Christians. We all need to be more forgiving, but that doesn't mean accepting. Hopefully you know the difference.
Monday 07 December
By pitbull7177
see that a devout christian and she breaking one of those christian laws adultery all of you straight up christians need to lighten it down now just live life stop saying that all women are sin stop thinking that just because i listen to heavy metal that im drawing pentagrams all over my wall i believe in God and Jesus i dont worship the devil im not evil the only reason i dont go to church is because my parents grew up on two different sides of christianity so what they believe is conflicting for both them but they are still married (for 18 years) and they dont let it get in the way so chill out and stop taking christianity too far all of you are not that good like that preacher who lied to his wife saying he was kidnapped but he was really with his mistress chill out
Reply
Thursday 10 December
By dede
GOODGRIEF! Please, learn to put punctuation in your comments. Your post reads like this. Idon'tknowhowtowriteandIdon'tcarewhatanyonethinkssowhateveryouthinkisstupidandeverythingIthinkisrightsothere
Saturday 19 December
By goodperson
BS, sex abuse may be the core of some of the problems or issues with sex addiction, but the real cause is an orgasm is the greatest feeling in the world. Get with it, you nuts, Stop trying to find an illness or addiction with everything you cant psychologically explain or accept. If anyone could have that orgasmic sensation or feeling 24/7and put it in a bottle.... it would sell like hot cakes and everyone would be buying it. EVERYONE! Debate that!
Reply
Monday 07 December
By Jake
While you may think it's crap, you have zero background in it and most certainly have no idea how painful the experience is to go through. Like any addiction you try and try to recover, but you never do. You always short-hand yourself and it starts all over again. It has every single side-effect of an addiction. And your brain develops a very real addiction to the release of dopamine produced from arousal, finding anonymous sex partners, or orgasm. So tell me, Mr. Expert, are you sure you're not putting it down because it's harder to think these people endure terrible hardship or you are just too willing to think they are inhuman?
Reply
Monday 07 December
By Jim
Well, I at one time in my life was addicted to Tobacco and Cocaine, To say nothing about the alcohol excess,There was a turning point in my life when I quit smoking, drinking , and doing drugs, No I am not a piece of crap, I own a successful business, several homes, pretty much do as I please,I am in my late 50's divorced for several years. My only vice these days is the fact that I am a sex addict, Can't seem to get enough,On my mind 24/7,Maybe I will get over it, or just plain wear out? All I know is at this point in my life Ilike it, As do my partners, Its lots cheaper than my other addictions were, And it wont kill me,And if it does...Fair way to go...I can think of lots worse things to kill you.
Reply
Monday 01 February
By JT
Finally, Somebody who speaks the Truth. So much B/S on this site. I was turning into crap just reading the B/S.
Monday 07 December
By dfwm
There is no such thing as too much sex. This woman is crazy. She needs to get over her guilt complex.
Reply
Monday 07 December
By Jerry
I'm a sex addict. Wouldn't trade it for anything!
Reply
Monday 07 December
By dave
Wow! That was crazy. What you said is totally wrong. I'm not trying to convince you because that would be impossible. I just wanted to warn you as someone who cares that someday you will have a rude awakening. Jesus will forgive any person who asks forgivenessbut if you don't ask you will recieve the wrath of the one and onl true GOD at judgement day. Don't be a fool. The worst that could happen to me is nothing for believing in God. You on the other hand have dire consequences for not having faith in God. Please reconsider your views of who God is.
Reply
Monday 07 December
By tracsd
What a cop out!!
Reply