Lemondrop

When your Thanksgiving turkey is dry or the gravy is lumpy, remember the words of Julia Child: "Never apologize."

Chances are you are your own worst critic and the folks gathered round your table are just grateful they're not hosting the feast. Of course, you'll feel better if you don't have anything to apologize for. So check out these quick fixes to help make your Turkey Day one to remember -- and if you have any tips of your own, help a sistah out share 'em in the comments!

Turkey is still frozen: If the bird is really frozen when you're about to put it in the oven, run to the store and get a fresh one, or, if you can carry it off, boldly declare that turkey is passé and you are omitting it from your menu. (There will be plenty of food, anyway.) If it's just a bit frozen -- say, you notice a hard, icy patch when you stick your hand in the cavity -- you can run it under cold water for a while, pat it dry, and then proceed. Plan on a longer cooking time; remember that food-safety experts say that a meat thermometer inserted into the thigh, not touching the bone, should register at least 165 degrees. Also, if you stuff the turkey, the internal temperature of the stuffing must reach at least 165 degrees.

Turkey is dry: Preventive measures are the best way to address this potential problem: brining the turkey, or using an oven-roasting bag, or tenting the turkey with foil while it cooks. If it's dry anyway, that's what gravy is for.

Stuffing is dry: This happens more often if you've cooked the stuffing outside of the turkey. Add hot canned broth, dot with butter, cover the pan and return to the oven to reheat briefly.

Mashed potatoes are lumpy: If you have time, put them into the top of a double boiler over simmering water, add some hot milk and butter and cook, mashing with a potato masher until smooth. Alternatively, serve them "as is" and declare them "rustic."

Vegetables are overcooked: Drizzle with some Italian dressing and chopped, toasted nuts (pecans, almonds, pine nuts), or dot with butter and sprinkle with breadcrumbs and herbs; then broil until a crunchy crust has formed and serve as a casserole.

Gravy is lumpy: Run it through a sieve, smashing on the lumps with the back of a spoon.

Gravy is too thin: In a small bowl, mix a quarter cup of hot gravy with 2 tablespoons cornstarch. Stir this mixture back into the hot gravy, whisking constantly and simmering until it thickens.

Gravy is too thick: Thin with canned broth or white wine or dry (white) vermouth. If you add wine, make sure to simmer for five to 10 minutes to mellow the flavors.

Gravy is too salty: Add a small, peeled potato and simmer for at least 10 minutes, longer if you can. Remove the potato and discard before serving the gravy. This fix also works for soup.

Gravy is hopeless: Open a can of canned gravy. Add a bit of white wine or dry vermouth, a pinch of dried thyme and a grind of pepper and some canned broth. Stir and simmer for at least 10 minutes, making sure not to burn. Add a small lump of butter at the end, and stir until melted. Resist the urge to "confess" to your guests.

Pumpkin pie has a crack in the middle of it: The time-honored fix is to decorate it with whipped cream. Alternatively, serve it plain and declare it to be "artisanal."

So does the pumpkin cheesecake: See pumpkin pie, above.

Emergency plan: Stockpile cans of chicken or turkey broth and butter (the duct tape of Thanksgiving dinner), toasted nuts and fresh herbs (for perking up those sad-looking dishes), canned gravy (because you never know), and extra hors d'oeuvres and wine (in case the turkey takes longer to cook than you anticipated).