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Facebook profile Could you go a week without using Facebook? Uh, of course you could.

But Flic Everett, a writer for the Daily Mail, prompted quite the rhubarb from readers after she chronicled her harrowing attempt to stop checking Facebook, calling the week-long experience "torture."

In a just world, Flic Everett would be waterboarded with chicken gravy for making such a comparison. In this one, we're just going to respond with a top-10 list of the Only Viable Scientific Reasons Not Looking at Facebook Ought to Be Even Marginally Difficult.

10. You work for Facebook.

9. You are a Facebook application developer.

8. You have one of those clueless bosses who keeps badgering you to "make a MySpace" for your company because you are the only person in the office still young enough to ovulate.

7. You are a paid "social media expert," in which case, please punch yourself in the crotch.

6. You work for the graphics department of a television news show and often have to take screenshots of Facebook for alarmist trend pieces about cocaine enemas, teen-sex hysteria and "drank."

5. You are my ex-boyfriend and the only thing keeping your fragile tableau of sanity intact is the act of clicking through my pictures while you sip Don Julio with Elliott Smith's "Figure 8" playing in the background.

4. You're one of those "Facebook hookers" I learned about on the TV news.

3. You are trapped beneath a heavy object, and your head is contorted in such a way that you are looking at a computer displaying Facebook.

2. You are a Japanese ghost implausibly summoned via a mysterious wireless signal during the suicide of a hacker that manifests itself in the form of Facebook.

1. You are an incurable moron and ought to be exterminated via wolves.

Tell us: Could you go a week without Facebook, or are you trapped beneath a heavy object?