You tell your friend if her outfit makes her look like a mentally unstable gypsy, or if the guy she's hitting on is a total d-bag, but would you tell her if you think she's overweight?According to new research by digital scale company Tanita (talk about examining your key demographic), one in five British women is afraid to tell her BFF if she thinks her pal is overweight.
It kind of makes sense, since, according to the research, 5 percent of the women who are told it's time to trim down end the friendship.
The study finds that every woman has two friends she thinks should lose weight, but very few are actually willing to speak up. The number who do tell their friends that they need to start dropping some pounds is around 25 percent.
We wonder, is it really your place to criticize your friend's body? Women get bombarded by enough messages from the media and elsewhere about how thin is in -- shouldn't friends be sympathetic?
Tell us: Have you ever had a friend tell you that you're looking a little chubby? How did you respond? Is it ever OK to comment on someone's weight?
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Monday 02 November
By Rebecca
About a month ago my BFF told me it was time to put up or shut up about my weight. I all would do was talk and talk and talk about this plan or that plan, but I wouldn't follow through and I wasn't getting anywhere - yet it's ALL I would talk about. She was slightly overweight after her first kid was born and then she finally did something about it. She has three kids total now. The youngest is 2 months old, and she looks amazing. She eats well and exercises regularly. I really admire her for it. We have been BFF's since high school and now we're 24 and although she moved to a town 3 hours away, we are still very close. I never imagined anyone telling me what she did. She risked our whole friendship (and we've been through a lot together) to tell me it's time to act and stop talking about it. It has changed my life, and strengthened our friendship even more. It was upsetting to hear at first. She is really blunt about things, but after a few lengthy emails back and forth, I had a moment of clarity and I thought to myself "she's right" and I just didn't want to hear it. But you need to open your mind and heart and LISTEN when someone tells you these things.... and now I am exercising every day, whether it's a walk, or my DVD, or going to the gym, and eating sensibly. The results aren't instant, but I know if I keep at it, i will see them. It's been a month since she told me what I needed to hear, and I am still motivated. Never have I STAYED motivated for more that a week or two before. It might be hard to hear, but if your BFF tells you that she thinks you are overweight, really think about if she is doing it to hurt you, or because she is concerned. It's likely the latter because it's not healthy to be over weight. If that's the case, be thankful that you have someone who will risk it all to tell you what you NEED to hear, and find it in you to do what you need to to get healthy.
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Wednesday 04 November
By Olsie
I think it's appropriate to criticize your friend's body. For instance, if your friend asks you if her/his weight is ok and you know it really isn't - I think you definitely should tell her the truth. It would be really better than someone else told it (for example, her boyfriend). And everybody knows that the lie is the worst thing that can happen to the friendship))
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Monday 02 November
By Amy
Here's what it comes down to:
(1) If your friend could stand to lose five pounds and just hasn't realized it (or is in denial), it's only five pounds! Who cares?
(2) If your friend is seriously overweight, she probably already knows. She looks in the mirror every morning and she knows what she looks like.
Either way, starting the conversation can lead to confidence issues for your friends. Hell, if my friends aren't blinded by me inner-beauty, who else would be?
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Monday 02 November
By Lex
I actually have told my best friend that she was gaining weight- for a while I would make funny mean comments in an effort to both make her laugh and think. It was kind of an odd situation- I'd been pretty heavy for a long time due to depression and other factors, and then I lost a bunch of weight and she gained a bunch of weight and I didn't want her to be as unhappy as I'd been.
Finally, though, she called me out on saying stuff like that in front of people- she didn't mind if it was just the two of us because we're close enough to get away with that, but it was embarrassing in public. I told her why I'd been doing it, looked her in the eye and asked if she was happy the weight she was, she said yes, and I haven't said a thing since then. Worked out for both of us :).
Anyways, she finally did realize she was unhappy at the weight, all on her own, and lost a bunch. You can never get people to do what you want them to do, you can only say your bit and hope it registered.
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Tuesday 03 November
By CJ
Absolutely not. It's none of your business. I would destroy anyone who told me I was fat, and I am fat. Trust my fat ass on that one.
Also, the weight is only a visible sign of something else that's wrong on an emotional level, and if you want to be a good friend, try to find out what that issue is and talk about that, if you actually want to help your friend.
A real friend would never criticize or make mean jokes in an effort to prove a point, a real friend would talk the issue out directly with their friend and a smart real friend would realize that her best friend's weight is just none of her business. You are on this planet for a short time, you may as well love those around you instead of making them feel bad for not looking like the way you think they should look.
If you want to make people feel bad for being themselves have kids like everyone else does.
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Tuesday 03 November
By LC
If my "friend" started making "funny mean comments" about my weight (or anything else about my appearance), she would no longer be my friend.
It's absolutely not your job to tell someone else they're overweight. I don't care if you're just concerned and if you say it in a nice way rather than making "funny mean comments." Also, the person you're concerned about ALREADY KNOWS. It's impossible to be overweight in this world and not know it, because it gets shoved down your throat all the time.
And did you ever think - maybe your fat friend is just fine? It's possible to be overweight & perfectly healthy, to be overweight and a good eater, to be overweight and a regular exerciser. Don't assume fat=dead.
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Wednesday 04 November
By Olsie
Strongly))
Wednesday 04 November
By Morgan
Yeah, cuz I totally don't have a mirror and can't tell that I'm overweight on my own.
ANY time a friend asks you how they look, they want validation, it's a cry for praise, they are begging you to help them feel better about theymselves; they don't want a putdown.
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Wednesday 04 November
By Morgan
And there's a difference between an outright lie (That potato sack makes you look like you lost 50 pounds!) and being constructive and positive (Your legs look hot in that skirt! But I think THIS shirt would look way better on your figure)
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Sunday 06 December
By T
I think you should tell them only if there is some kind of problem. Is she about to go out wearing something that shows too much? You need to tell her (constructively).
If all she does is whine, "I'm fat, I need to stop drinking soda, I need to buy a gym membership, waah!" But she does none of those things, and the next month she's whining again? You need to bluntly say, "So what are you going to do about it? ... Are you going to do that or just talk about doing it?"
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Monday 14 December
By stacy
Whats funny about this is they have a pic of paris and nicole.. paris who is DIGUSTINGLY skinny and nicole who is just skinny.. sooo, which one is the fat one? I wouldn't tell my friend b/c its not my deal.. how would her weight affect me and my life at all? It doesn't.. I would support my friend if she wanted to lose weight anyway i could, but by telling her she needs to lose weight? thats not my place and your basically a cunt if you think it is.
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Sunday 10 January
By Todd29
For many people, being overweight is associated with being uncomfortable in their own skin. To assist with weight control, every time the urge to snack if felt , first drink a large glass of clear water. This simple act will help you to eat less. Water will soon become one of your best friends. The major reason so many people in America are overweight is because we eat too much for comfort! It does not hurt to treat ourselves with something special once in a while, what is necessary is that we limit our portions and do not overeat! It is also necessary to keep our body properly hydrated, so drink a full glass of water with each meal or snack. Being overweight ******, but after reading a book, I lost 85 pounds! Words can not express how good I feel! This is a comment which I recently received about the book Lose Weight Using Four Easy Steps
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