I'll never forget when I realized that sometimes men don't think that we ladies look as cute as we think we do. The "incident" occurred a few years ago. I had just finished primping to go out and I asked my man for an assessment. He paused, briefly contemplated lying (so I could avoid the nine outfit changes that would soon follow), and then hesitantly replied, "Well, your shirt kind of looks like curtains." Curtains?! Was the man crazy? It was an adorable, ruffled sleeveless top that I spent way too much money on for that kind of reaction. Needless to say, those ruffles were forever banished to the back of my closet. Once your shirt is compared to living room drapes, there's no going back.
From shoes to shades, read on for fashion essentials girls love, that guys could live without.
Gladiator SandalsYour gladiators are your go-to summer shoe when you don't feel like wearing heels. Unfortunately, he has to spend all summer desperately trying to block the mental picture of Russell Crowe in a loin cloth.
Image: Giuseppe Zanotti Italian Leather Roman Sandals
Muu Muu DressesYou think they're hippie chic. But if he wanted to visit grandma, he'd go to Boca Raton. (You're just a housecoat and a pair of slippers away from getting dumped.)
Image: Old Navy Women's Printed Three-Quarter-Sleeve Dress
LeggingsThey're cute, comfy, and a great alternative to jeans. But he's perplexed as to why you think it's cool to dress like Cyndi Lauper.
Image: American Apparel Cotton Spandex Legging
Oversize SunglassesWhile you and Nicole Richie love hiding behind large shades, he sees a human-size preying mantis getting a little too close for comfort.
Image: Fred Flare Nicole Sunglasses
Empire Waist Shirts Your Saturday-night going-out ensemble is a loose, flowy top paired with skinny jeans. He doesn't understand why you're OK with strangers asking when you're due.
Image: Anthropologie Star Map Top
Massive BagsYou think it's normal to carry around 30 lbs. of your most prized possessions at all times. He thinks it's silly that you brought your suitcase to dinner.
Image: Be & D Studded Convertible Shoulder Tote
A Going-Out Clutch Sometimes the uber-large everyday bag isn't necessary. (Gotta give the shoulders a break, right?) He just sees it as an excuse for you to force him to carry your keys, Blackberry and assorted lip glosses in his pockets.
Image: Miu Miu Plisse Leather Clutch
SpanxWomen have a love/hate relationship with Spanx. Men just hate them. Word to the wise, don't attempt putting those suckers on when your man is in the vicinity. Wait until you're married to show him your bag 'o tricks.
Image: Spanx Power Panties
Harem PantsEven you know these are pretty ridiculous-looking. So imagine how mortified your man is that he has to take MC Hammer out for fro-yo.
Image: Elizabeth and James Harem Pants
Ankle BootsFashion-forward ladies love this season's little booties. But when you and the girls go out, he can't help but refer to your crew as the Keebler Elves.
Image: Tory Burch Suede Ankle Boots
What other trends does your dude despise? Fill us in!
Jessica Solloway is a writer living in Washington, D.C.
Comments:
Add a comment
Tuesday 27 October
By John B.
Good God, gladiator sandals make women's feet look so ugly. I can't wait for them to be over.
Reply
Tuesday 27 October
By Mel
hahaha! This totally remindes me of my boyfriend. We both walk down the boardwalk in the summer making fun of those ridiculous gladiator sandals and the bug eye sunglasses that girls wear. Luckily I've never liked either of those things. He does like to laugh at my suitcase purse though. Lucky for him I'm a t-shirt n jeans girl... so the other things I probably wouldn't be caught dead in anyway.
Reply
Tuesday 27 October
By a jug of Clorox
I'd also like to call out the following cliches on college campuses-- Ugg boots, flip flops, and lounge/pajama pants. Who walks half a mile to class in flipflops? And who thinks pajama pants are proper attire for the dining hall, even if it's right next to your dorm?
Reply
Tuesday 27 October
By Jessica
I've never understood the hate on sandals and flip flops. I live in Miami, so you literally see more people in those than in anything else while on campus. Granted, gladiators are ugly. But as long as I don't see a girl in flowered or day glo flip flops, there's no problem. Even the guys wear them out.
Reply
Tuesday 27 October
By Johnny Firecloud
Brilliant! Absolutely dead-on with every one of these. Very well done.
Reply
Tuesday 27 October
By Sam
This is the best article I''ve read in quite a while. Very funny!
Reply
Tuesday 27 October
By Mallory
Okay I have them all expect for the oversized back I love them, if for a mom there a lifesave because you can pack all kinds of stuff in them
Reply
Wednesday 28 October
By wholesale replica handbags
Especially I women are very choosy while purchasing handbag. Here you can get a huge and beautiful collection of handbags and accessories in wholesale replica handbags collection.
Reply
Wednesday 28 October
By Ewan
Top 3 Offenders:
3) Trendy Hair / Bug Glasses. You want us to note your good attributes beyond
the basic anatomical references (T&A) but then your hiding your adorable
cheek-bones and brilliant eyes behind those atrocitities of specks. As for
hair you might not realize just how much of an attraction that is. Just ask
yourself how many guys you've asked, "blondes or brunettes?" Still you don't
consider that when you determine, "I want the cut I saw in an Ad for American
Outfitters." Check out the dudes who shop there with you if they aren't your
type your hair is wrong. Wear the look of the type of people you want to be
with.
2) Skinny Jeans. Look Jeans can make you look great. Good jeans can seal a
deal in a guys mind, but when they are ackwardly tapered they turn your body
into a caricature. If you're tiny you look like a little Emo boy we beat up --or
wanted too. If you average sized you look big, and if you verging over average
you look huge!
1) Baggy blouses! Really you spend an hour a day at the gym killing yourself
and you are wearing a hefty sack to dinner. This is the shoulder padded suit
jacket of the 00's
Reply
Wednesday 28 October
By Andrew Lee
We get it. You dont like RZ-West.Coast style. My problems with the options you listed above are mostly based around whether they are worn during the day or at night.
Also, the first time I understood / saw what Spanx are.. terrifying.
http://sleepsleep.tumblr.com/
Reply
Thursday 29 October
By Louise
Here's the thing, though: a lot of women aren't dressing up for guys. Oh, sure, I like it when my husband compliments on outfit-- but it isn't about him. I like wearing things that are comfy, both in terms of how the clothing feels and how self-confidant I feel in it. My guy likes it when I wear low-cut tops and high heels, but I feel overexposed and wobbly when I wear those things, so unless I am particularly trying to entice him or I just randomly feel like it, I wear t-shirts and Birkenstocks instead. This works both ways-- I think his oversized shirts and falling-apart flops aren't nearly as attractive as a nice button-up and boots, but that's what he feels most comfortable in. Seriously: you first consideration when you're choosing an outfit should be what YOU feel good wearing, not what you think dudes expect you to wear.
Reply
Thursday 29 October
By nick from oz
i hate it when some chick writer decides to making broad, sweeping generalizations claiming to know what 'he' thinks. like those chick mags telling you 658 new ways to please him in bed et-cetera. why dont you write a harry potter book or something instead of contaminating society like this?
Reply
Thursday 29 October
By Kate
Ugg boots should be on this list. I don't like them but girls LOVE those things and guys hate them. Our campus has an Ugg Boot game
Reply
Friday 30 October
By Shannon
Wow. I must totally think like a guy cause i absolutely HATE and REFUSE to wear or accessorize with any of the above... except the going out clutch (although I more prefer a wristlet) cause I'm not a fan of constantly hitting complete strangers with the bag on my shoulder at a crowded bar or club.
Reply
Friday 30 October
By Hinky
Peasant skirts.
'Nuff said.
Reply
Sunday 08 November
By Dayna
There is a lot to say for comfort, and feeling good about yourself, but how can you feel good in completely flat shoes that cut in at awkward parts of your foot or glasses that move every time you talk because they're resting on your cheekbones? I don't decide what I wear based on who I'm trying to impress, but there are more flattering clothing for all and when I know I'm comfortable and that I don't look unnecessarily shorter or that my tights that I'm wearing instead of pants aren't showing absolutely every single bump and curve on my body, I feel a damn site more confident in my self knowing I am not standing out for the wrong reasons.
P.S WHY AREN'T CROCS ON THIS LIST? DID WE FORGET CROCS?
Reply