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by Erin Zammett RuddyShould you sleep with your ex? Wear Spanx on a date? Go out with a guy who's younger than you? Find out how experts, authors and readers suggest you solve these dilemmas and more.
1. Is it OK to have a "friend with benefits"?
59% of glamour.com readers say YES.
2. Is it OK to friend your exes on Facebook?
72% of glamour.com readers say YES.
Yes: "I'm Facebook friends with six of my exes. Honestly, it would have been weirder to unfriend them after having once been so close, especially when things ended amicably. You just have to check yourself periodically for stalker-like behavior. My rule: If I'd be embarrassed if the ex saw how much I was on his page, then I need to cool it. And maybe hide his updates for a while." -- Elizabeth, 31, New York City
No: "Facebook almost ruined my marriage. My ex is one of those constant status updaters. I became obsessed with his whereabouts. He would talk about doing all these fun things, and I'd look at my relationship and think, We don't do that. I actually began to resent my husband. Eventually the ex and I met up, and that's when things got really bad. Bad as in we slept together. My husband found out, and we wound up separating. Now we're working things out. But man, nothing good comes from friending your ex." -- Anonymous, 33
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Monday 26 October
By Rob
You are so F...ing correct! and Woman wonder why men cheat! All I can say is you nailed it rite on the nose!
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Tuesday 27 October
By chattenx
wow! you said something that is so true. Most women who become shabby and dowdy after marriage, probably feel the anxiety of not being attractive and do away with sex. Not necessarily a punishment to the husband but more a self inflicted state of being selfless. The other side of this coin would be to cheat with someone else to feel better for themselves. Very astute your observation!
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Tuesday 27 October
By stephen
Im planning on proposing to my girlgriend soon and i already am worried about her giving up on the sex life that we have, but if thats it according to scammed... then im dont have a problem, especially because its not like her physical appearance matters to me, i dont know what she looks like, IM BLIND. and as I have my friend read these articles off to me I cant help but sit here and say that even though i dont know what my girlfriend looks like, she is still the most beautiful girl in the world to me, and as long as she continues to show me the reasons why saying "I love you" isnt enough for me, i will continue to rock her world whenever she wants. and being blind has its own benefits. LADIES...blindfold your man when he is asleep and play the most intersting game of naked marko polo that you have ever heard of. it is soooooo worth it.....to both of you. trust me.
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Tuesday 27 October
By Meade
Nobody has mentioned how some women make us(guys) pay for the misdeeds of their previous boyfriends/husbands.It's not fair for me to be treated a certian way because someone else did something to you in a previous relationship.I had a girlfriend that cheated on me,and when I eventualy was told (by one of her friends) that she was cheating and confronted her about it.Her response was"my other botfriend cheated on me,so I just wanted to cheat on you before you cheated on me."What kind of logic is that ? I had some pretty strong feelings for this woman,and being unfathful wasn't one of them.The thought had never entered my mind.Needless to say I told her she had some serious issues to work out,and I was verry sorry but If I couldn't trust her any more,there wasn't any point in being with her.The other strange part of this story is,how pissed off at me she got because I didn't want to be in a relationship with her any more because She cheated.Like it was my fault she did it.I never figured out why her girl friend decided to share this information with me.
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Tuesday 27 October
By Erin
I'm not blaming Facebook but I friended my EX HUSBAND and ended up under the sheets with him in a matter of 3 months. The worse part of the situation was that I had already remarried someone else. If I had made the right descion not to friend him at all it more than likely it would never have happend. In most cases.. If the spark was there once before then theres a good chance it could be there again! The best thing is "early prevention"! I should have known better though..I take full responsibility for my actions.
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Wednesday 28 October
By reflexdtd
Wow this topic seems to have hit many a nerve. I think everyone should at least consider the possibility that Marriage and monogomy are man-made concepts that in times past may have been neccessary in order for a particular group of people to thrive and survive.
Today, however, the progression of equality, especially for women, as well as the increase of individuality, technology and socio-economic factors in our society have perhaps rendered this ancient ritual unnecessary and even counter-productive. The unusually high divorce rate and subsequent splintering of family resulting in permanent psychological and spirtual damage to both parties and, perhaps more importantly, the innocent children involved support this argument.
Indeed, it seems now to be an antiquated form of bonding that occurs not because of family values, personal ideology or the need for survival, but rather stems from fear, lonliness, depression, the media, religion and the desire to be part of something we have been taught to respect and revere without even questioning or using any independant thought whatsoever. A plethora of scientific evidence suggests that we are hard-wired to reproduce, and men especially, who when healthy can produce fertile sperm in large numbers well into their twilight years, are designed to spread their seed. This biological imperative is designed by nature in order to gurantee the survival of our species, and appears to contradict the concept of having only one partner throughout our life-spans.
Men and women subconsciously attract, and are attracted too, individuals with the most drastically different immune systems and genetic codes opposed to their own, in order to create a new life with the best chance of survival. This is the basis of reproductive fitness, known as Myohisto-Compatability, and is the driving (albeit unconscious) force behind a womans choice of a mate. It goes beyond the females inate compulsion to snare the Alpha-Male, and the males gravitation towards women with the greatest child-bearing and rearing qualities. It extends into the need to spread the gene-pool, and even deeper, to the again unconscious perogative to mate with someone thats has vastly different bacteria living on the surface of their skin--thus increasing the chances of producing off-spring with the most flexable and diverse immune systems.
In fact, a woman that is menstrating is highly susceptable to the male pheremone, and right before,during and after this cycle ladies are more attracted to the macho, muscle-bound, masculine men, whereas under normal circumstances they tend to seek out the "pretty boy" look. Women are also more aggressive, uninhibited and passionate during this period. Not the actual day or days of heavy flow and cramps, when she is often affected by PMS, but rather right before and after those often difficult days.
So, men are designed to spread their seed, which is why they have so much of it for so long, while women have a more limited window of opportunity. In addition, we are all wired for passion and lust. A man will find a beautiful woman just as appealing after he's married as he would have when he was single and, although he may not act on it, his impulse to be with her remains the same.
Numerous sexual escapades and scandals among politicians who preach family values which they themselves do not practice, and the number of men and women who seek and attain extra-marital affairs, are further evidence that monogomy may be an archaic practice that no longer has a place among contemporary modern society. The natural tendency to seek multiple partners is often surpressed by the guilt and shame placed on men and women, mostly by the very same religious figures who, unable to deal with the vow of abstinance, monogamy or implied Platonic path, end up molesting children, having affairs or suffering psychological break-downs.Controversial? Yes.Valid? You decide.
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Saturday 31 October
By missy
A friend of mine told me about this site that offers a step by step guide to giving the best oral sex to your guy. You can check it out here: cli.gs/blowbyblow It is well worth it. I had no idea there were so many things you could do to give your guy the best oral of his life!
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Wednesday 05 May
By rex
I am a married man doing without we got married 23 years ago and our sex life is once a week if i get it started not her about 7-8 years ago she cheated on me with a man at her work at this time our sex life was great she told me i was the only man that made sure she got what every women needed out of sex every time but she still cheated on me at the time i told her he only wanted to get in her pants and told her to go give him some and see were it got her she went to him and stayed with him for all day and after that he would not even talk about them as a couple and she still stands by her story that they only talked I DON'T THINK SO but our sex has gone to nothing now what do i do i have tried everything i know to do but i get a cold f---- every time i get any what to do
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