Rainbow Brite has recently gotten a sexy new makeover courtesy of Hallmark (who originally introduced the little-girl superhero back in 1984).

Now, the former dolls, which used to look kind of like Trolls but squatter, are far more recognizably Barbie-ish: Their waists are tiny, their heads are relatively smaller, and puffed sleeves have been replaced by flared shoulders. At least they got to keep their kicky knee-high rainbow boots -- which are still flats, thank goodness!

In all fairness, Rainbow Brite's image isn't exactly pure and virtuous. (Just look at how many sexy Rainbow Brite Halloween costumes there are.) However, in the new version, the protectorate of the world's colors is no more distinguishable from your typical Bratz doll. And the male Color Kids have apparently been deemed too fabulous for inclusion; Rainbow is now only accompanied by her friends Moonglow and Tickled Pink. Where art thou, Buddy Blue and Red Butler?

But worst of all, after 20-odd years, everyone's still Caucasian as a Kenny G concert. Which wasn't a huge deal in the 1980s, but in the '00s, a pretty big aberration. Guess brown and black aren't colors Rainbow's too worried about.

Keep reading to watch an 11-second jolt of Rainbow Brite nostalgia.

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