If you have a fish and are going through a breakup, be warned -- they are extremely vulnerable to domestic violence. Yet another crazy ex
has killed a pet fish, although the hipster culprit at least had the decency not to eat it.
A purple betta lost its life at the the hands one Donald Earl Fite III
, of Portland, Ore., and his Arcade Fire-inflected rage. Donald impaled the fish, oh-so-preciously named DeLorean, with a knife. At least he was quick to admit he was the culprit, telling police, "If she can't have me, then she can't have the fish."
He was also pretty quick to admit later that killing the fish was "a very low point" in his lif e... possibly almost as bad as if he had gotten drunk off Schlitz and admitted he liked Jack Johnson.
His ex-girlfriend plans to get a "memorial tattoo" of DeLorean, and was hoping the judge would make Donald pay for the ink job, but he only got two years probation, a psychological evaluation and community service. Portland!