I'm married and monogamous, but not yet ready to have children. So -- since neither my husband nor I like the feel of condoms during sex (it dulls his sensitivity, and I just love the warmth of skin rubbing against skin) -- we rely on The Pill as our main method of birth control to keep us baby-free. I've been taking Yaz for a couple years now, which also helps with my PMDD (also known as that crazy, dark, slightly psychotic half that emerges from the shadows every month or so). Then, the other day, I read this scary-as-hell story about how Yaz could be (way) riskier than other birth control pills. And while I had never experienced anything negative while on Yaz, and I know medications affect different people in different ways, I began to wonder, Should I go off the pill entirely and start using condoms?
My husband was, understandably, less than thrilled about the idea. So was my vagina, but it was trying to keep an open mind. So we got our hands on a variety pack of condoms from Babeland and started our search for the Perfect Condom.
Two Extremes
First, we tried Crown's Skin Less Skin condoms, made to be thinner -- but no less strong -- so that we could perhaps trick ourselves into believing that we weren't actually using a condom. That little bit of self-delusion failed to work.
Next was a Rough Rider condom, studded with tiny bumps so as to provide my vag with extra stimulation. All I could feel was the rubbing together of rubber and skin. My husband started threatening mutiny. I couldn't help feeling discouraged myself.
In With One, Out With More
At that point, we began just going through the motions. Babeland's Shear Latex condoms were pretty basic: smooth and lightly lubricated. They did the job, but still left us feeling dissatisfied. Kimono's MicroThin condoms were as thin as Crown's Skin Less Skins, but still couldn't trick us into believing we were condom-free. The same was the case with Vivid's Extra Thin condoms. All of them performed admirably, but just left us wanting more.
Skins With Style
We tried a non-lubricated Trustex condom, which meant that we had to pile on extra Sliquid. This was a drawback, as I often have problems with dryness, but I had to give it points for being purple (my favorite color).
Going a little more formal was LifeStyles' Tuxedo condom, outfitted in a stately black color that only disturbed me (approaching your vaginal opening is the Penis of DOOM).
The LifeStyles Kiss of Mint non-lubricated condom did indeed taste of mint, and made me love the fact that my breath post-blowjob made me extremely kissable. But, beyond that, I resented the lack of extra lube.
At Last, a Winner
The winner in the end? The Trojan Ecstasy. Encased in so much lube that our fingers got sticky while grappling with it, it made intercourse so easy and pain-free that I couldn't stop raving about it.
Still ... I have to admit ... I think I'm going to risk the blood clots and stay on The Pill. What about you? Have you found a rubber that works?
Steph Auteri is a writer specializing in sex, relationships and other sources of angst related to the back-and-forth between men and women.












Comments:
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Friday 16 October
By SaraShenanigans
Call me crazy, but I actually prefer condoms. There leave very little mess behind, and there are really crazy textures, scents, colors, and flavors out there to experiment with.
My boyfriend of three years would prefer that we not use them, but says he doesn't mind because they increase his stamina.
I'm a firm believer in condoms (pun intended, buh-dum-dum-tss).
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Saturday 14 November
By S
I agree condoms are very fun!
Friday 16 October
By MissZ
I think couples should seriously talk about birth control options together. I find it sad that some men refuse to wear a condom and would prefer that a woman pop a pill every day, every month, for who knows how long. If that is the woman's choice, that is one thing. But some women, such as myself, aren't too keen on putting any kind of medication in their bodies. It would be selfish for my husband to say to me "No, I refuse to wear a condom so you need to put chemicals into your body every single day instead." Luckily, we see eye to eye on this. And until we have our last child, maybe in another two years, he'll keep wearing condoms. Once we decide no more children, the plan is for him to get "snipped". It's a one-time procedure, fast, safe and I can continue to NOT take the pill on a daily basis.
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Saturday 17 October
By SaraShenanigans
You are aware that birth control is just synthetic versions of hormones your body already makes, right? Most often the pill is estrogen and progesterone introduced to your body at times when they're not usually present. Birth control isn't something to be feared--it should be celebrated. Unless you are also doing things that aren't good for you (such as smoking) or you have a preexisting medical condition they're no more harmful than over the counter pain pills.
There are far worse things you can do to yourself than taking the pill.
Friday 16 October
By chris
there is another option - track your menstrual cycle and either avoid sex or use a condom on the 8 days or so of your cycle that you're likely to get pregnant. it's worked well for me for over 8 years, though abstaining from sex while i'm at my horniest can be a little tough.
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Saturday 17 October
By Neeva
Er, did it occur to you to switch to another brand? There are lots of pill brands without Dienogest (the gestagen that makes yaz more dangerous than other pills).
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Saturday 17 October
By lindebey
Yes, the pills are just hormones, but there's no way that they can emulate the natural levels in your body. Maybe you would rather your body keep its natural hormone cycle, messing with it can cause some emotional problems.
Also, this article was unsatisfying. Basically: try a bunch and see what you like. And those bumps cause so much friction, it feels like my vagina is on fire. I personally don't mind regular smooth condoms, but my boyfriend doesn't like the lack of sensation. He doesn't complain though, better than knocking me up.
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Monday 19 October
By Me
I tried the trojan ecstacy but if I remember correctly, they didn't have a resevoir (sp?) tip to hold the semen? Probably not a good idea :/
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Wednesday 17 March
By Jordyn
The Ecstasy does not have a Reservoir tip. Your suppose to leave a Half Inch of room for semen yourself.
Monday 19 October
By Jessie
After having my daughter I got a IUD inter uterine devise. It is the best thing in the world it is birth control without having to remember, five years worth!!!! We get to have great sex and we don't have to worry about condoms or pregnancy. It is 99.9% effective and it works in 3 different ways, 1 hormones, 2 blocks semen from entering the uterus, and 3 it blocks them from entering the fallopian tubes. Even better is that after the five years you can qualify for a 10 year! How awesome, you don't have to remember every month or day or week that oops I need to do something. Nope it is birth control for the forgetful. like me.... that is sorta why I have a daughter, however she is the sun in my life and would not change a thing
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Tuesday 20 October
By OxDang
Be careful with the IUD!! A good friend of mine had one for about a year and then became pregnant with her third child. They feared that the baby would have birth defects due to the devise, but luckily she found that she was pregnant early enough to have it removed. Birth control is great...but I believe that the extra comfort of using a condom as well is more than worth it!!
Thursday 22 October
By TG
it seems to me men are very proud of their penises they don't seem to want to protect it. they all piss bitch moan about using condoms
thats how they get trapped with a kid.
unfortunately I'm not in a committed relationship
I'm not out picking up random at bars.
I'm always the one who carries condoms and insists on condom use
I don't want to catch a social disease
I have the pill as back up or a front line of protection depending on your perspective.
I cant feel the difference with or with out a condom
but i like the Kimonos, the crown, lifestyle had some in a disk that were 21% thinner that I really liked. I don't usually like trojans
I've only had 2 condoms ever break 1 was a vivid. you'd think something put out bu the porn industry would be larger and a better product.
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Thursday 22 October
By Steph Auteri
Thanks for all of the comments, you guys! It's interesting to hear everyone's thoughts on condoms, especially as a woman who prefers to go without.
As for switching pills (where did that comment go?), I actually switched to Yaz in order to manage my PMDD, and it's worked like a dream. I'm afraid what would happen to my mood swings once I stopped taking it.
@MissZ: I am so with you on the getting snipped option. Why not opt for something so safe and easy if we feel we're done having kids? It would be a dream to not have to worry about birth control for the rest of my life.
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Friday 23 October
By Hello ICOTgirl
That is so funny, I did the exact same thing with me and my boyfriend. I had a great coupon in babeland and we tried tons of condoms, but we did not have Trojan Ecstasy. Well oddly enough i could not feel the difference but he liked crown's skinless condom. But I will give Trojan Ecstasy a shot I just heard it breaks easily that is why I never considered it.
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Saturday 24 October
By Jessica
I actually was in the hospital in the beginning of September because I developed a blood clot in my brain. After doing extensive testing, they determined I did not have an abnormal clotting factor, and my birth control pills were the sole cause of the blood clot.
I had taken the warning of a blood clot as a bit of a joke until it happened to me, but hopefully someone learns from my mistakes, and does not make the same one.
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Saturday 24 October
By fenton
i have sex with my girlfriend, we have sex a lot. and i mean it. when we wake up get home and go to bed. it usually last an hour to three hours, and we have very many an orgasm (4-20) a day. so i froze about a gallon of my sperm (never know) and got visectamin (i THINK thats how its spelt). its amazing. and i saved money on pills and condoms ( we used both). worth every penny
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Sunday 25 October
By glm
I had an iud also after my daughter and we're ready for another little one so i took it out last week, we dont want to get pregnant this month so we're relying on condoms for the next 3 or 4 weeks so my body can get "healthy" enough for pregnancy... anyway, thanks for the column, helped us narrow our search for the perfect condom. And if we do have an "oops" then great!
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Sunday 25 October
By Sarah
My favorite i've used is the Trojan 'Shared Pleasure'..it has a warming sensation and a reservoir tip for safety..it seemed to be a hit for both me and my partner
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Monday 26 October
By Doc Love
Durex LOVE condoms -- simply the best ~~
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Tuesday 27 October
By Yvette
I was recently diagnosed with blood clots and the only causing factor was my birth control. So in the later years of my life I'm having to do the condom thing.
I feel so high school and I hate it. My spouse doesn't seem to mind because he can't work up the courage to "snip snip". I don't pressure him because I wouldn't want anyone telling me what to do with my body, so for now it's condoms. I think I'll go look for the Trojan 'Shared Pleasure', sounds fun!
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