We ran a post from blogger Courtney A., a college girl who gave us the lowdown on hooking up with famous Internet ho Tucker Max. We got a huge response from readers, so we invited Tucker to write a rebuttal. Here, in his own words, is his response to "I Slept With Tucker Max, the Internet's Biggest Asshat."If you're reading this, then you've probably read the "I Slept With Tucker Max" piece that started it. Basically, a girl I f--ked in State College wrote her account of what happened. I have to say, I applaud young Courtney for two things:
1. Using her real name and picture. I would have had very little respect for her if she'd written all of this anonymously, but she didn't. If you are going to kiss and tell, be honest and open about it, and she was. Very cool.
2. Being pretty fair and honest about everything. For the most part, she left out all the insecure editorializing bulls--t that girls usually put into those things, and basically told it like it was. I was very impressed with her fairness and objectivity.
In fact, I was so impressed with the whole piece that I didn't even feel the need to write any sort of comprehensive rebuttal. Though I disagreed with a few things, and she left a few things out, I was going to let it all lie, because it was far more true than not. The fact that she was fair and reasonably accurate and actually spoke from a position of experience instead of just assuming what I was like secondhand, that immediately puts her ahead of 95 percent of the people who write about me.
But when Lemondrop asked me if I wanted to write a rebuttal, I took them up on it. I couldn't help it. Not for the reasons you might think.
But I couldn't stop myself from writing this, because of one thing she wrote.
"He screws like he's jackhammering a sidewalk. I faked orgasm to get him to stop."
I don't have any beef with her description of me in bed. I would prefer the phrasing "dominant and aggressive," but whatever; you call me a jackhammer, the difference is semantics. The thing that pissed me off is that she said she faked an orgasm to get me to stop. I mean -- honey, really? Did you think I was paying the LEAST bit of attention to you or your "orgasm?" You know why I stopped? Because I came. That's always when I stop. I couldn't tell your orgasm from pixie dust, and neither would make me stop if I wasn't done, that's for sure.
Yes, there were a ton of details she left out. Like when this other hot girl was all up in my s--t, and Bill Dawes [comedian & Tucker associate] went up to her and said, "Hey Baby Fat, I think you've lost this one," and she took off and got her friend to promise to f-ck my friend Jeff if I left with her. I had actually forgotten about that until Jeff reminded me, but it's an irrelevant detail. The basic point is that she came out to f--k me, and she readily admitted that, so whatever. It's a story not a police report; she got enough right.
Courtney, I know you're only 21, so that explains a lot, but baby, please understand: We all reap what we sow. Just like I have to be OK with the women who come to f--k me Twittering about it or writing about it for millions to read, you need to be OK with me not caring for or considering you in bed. I'm sure there are a lot of guys who will be sweet and gentle with you in bed and really pay attention to your needs, but the guys you come out to sport f--k probably won't be among them.
And for the record, two things she said I want to confirm as true:
1. I absolutely baby talk my dog, Murph, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I love that goofy mutt, and she likes it when I baby talk and I don't care who knows.
2. She wasn't lying when she said I told her I wanted to eventually settle down and have kids. I do. Maybe not now, but soon enough that I think about it now. Of course, traveling around the country f--king all kinds of college girls who throw themselves at me probably doesn't help accomplish this goal. Eh, what can you do?
Still single, ladies: tuckermax@gmail.com
Tucker Max is the gentle soul behind TuckerMax.com and the author of the bestselling memoir, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. His new book, Assholes Finish First, is now available from Gallery.












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Monday 16 November
By MelBel
As someone who is female, I just want to let the guys who are reading this article that might be good people at heart that NOT ALL WOMEN are attracted to douchebags. I would post on Tucker Max's website as well but I refuse to give his website traffic.
I went to Stanford and I'm considered attractive, I won Miss India America, look me up if you want: Melanie Kannokada. I'm only putting my name out there so people know I'm real. I read bullshit like this and I just want to cry for the young women out there who devalue themselves so badly.
But guys should know there are tons of women of quality who love being treated well & really like nice guys. These are girls who aren't slutty, who had a strong father figure, and have great self confidence -- me and all of my friends are like this. My boyfriend is the sweetest person in the world and he is probably what you guys would call "beta." However I don't give alpha asshats (that other blog had it right) the time of day when they hit on me, never did. I'm not even remotely turned on by that game playing douchebag BS. I don't like being treated poorly, no one with self esteem does. I hope all the men taking advantage of young women who don't know their own value yet get exactly what they deserve.
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Friday 20 November
By Dave
The guys smart enough to understand what you're saying already know this, and the stupid ones won't care and will still act like douchebags thinking it will help them pick up women. Catch 22.
Sunday 16 January
By info@kannokada.com
Dear MelBel,
I'd appreciate you to remove the fraudulent use of Melanie's identity.
Thank you.
Monday 22 March
By devin
so whats the point in commenting saying he's a douche bag or an asshole, he kind of admits it at every chance he gets, it's a fair warning, and again he admits he has low standards so saying something like he goes for trashy girls and wtv is again stating what he already admits,so whats the point of slandering him? he does what he wants and doesn't bullshit what he is, if you take time to comment on anything of his and state this shit over and over again its just a cry for attention so you can attempt to look intelligent, when really your just stupid, I'm not saying everyone should love him but if you don't like his stories or him how far did you get by commenting and saying hes an asshole or something? it just proves that being the knight in shining armor bullshit is just that bullshit, you don't have to be an angel to get laid, he proves it, he does what he wants and has fun with his life, personally to me that's fucking awesome, and i agree with jeff
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Friday 24 December
By Kannan
The part Mel conveniently forgot to mention is she dates 'good-looking' beta boys (I'm on her FB). When you are good looking most game rules do not apply. Infact, when you are good-looking anything gamish would make you look like an arrogant tool and make women insecure. If you have a chiseled jaw and over 6 ft you can afford to be that beta boy Mel is talking about, but for the 99% percent average Joe's out there, stay Alpha gentlemen!
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