We ran a post from blogger Courtney A., a college girl who gave us the lowdown on hooking up with famous Internet ho Tucker Max. We got a huge response from readers, so we invited Tucker to write a rebuttal. Here, in his own words, is his response to "I Slept With Tucker Max, the Internet's Biggest Asshat."If you're reading this, then you've probably read the "I Slept With Tucker Max" piece that started it. Basically, a girl I f--ked in State College wrote her account of what happened. I have to say, I applaud young Courtney for two things:
1. Using her real name and picture. I would have had very little respect for her if she'd written all of this anonymously, but she didn't. If you are going to kiss and tell, be honest and open about it, and she was. Very cool.
2. Being pretty fair and honest about everything. For the most part, she left out all the insecure editorializing bulls--t that girls usually put into those things, and basically told it like it was. I was very impressed with her fairness and objectivity.
In fact, I was so impressed with the whole piece that I didn't even feel the need to write any sort of comprehensive rebuttal. Though I disagreed with a few things, and she left a few things out, I was going to let it all lie, because it was far more true than not. The fact that she was fair and reasonably accurate and actually spoke from a position of experience instead of just assuming what I was like secondhand, that immediately puts her ahead of 95 percent of the people who write about me.
But when Lemondrop asked me if I wanted to write a rebuttal, I took them up on it. I couldn't help it. Not for the reasons you might think.
But I couldn't stop myself from writing this, because of one thing she wrote.
"He screws like he's jackhammering a sidewalk. I faked orgasm to get him to stop."
I don't have any beef with her description of me in bed. I would prefer the phrasing "dominant and aggressive," but whatever; you call me a jackhammer, the difference is semantics. The thing that pissed me off is that she said she faked an orgasm to get me to stop. I mean -- honey, really? Did you think I was paying the LEAST bit of attention to you or your "orgasm?" You know why I stopped? Because I came. That's always when I stop. I couldn't tell your orgasm from pixie dust, and neither would make me stop if I wasn't done, that's for sure.
Yes, there were a ton of details she left out. Like when this other hot girl was all up in my s--t, and Bill Dawes [comedian & Tucker associate] went up to her and said, "Hey Baby Fat, I think you've lost this one," and she took off and got her friend to promise to f-ck my friend Jeff if I left with her. I had actually forgotten about that until Jeff reminded me, but it's an irrelevant detail. The basic point is that she came out to f--k me, and she readily admitted that, so whatever. It's a story not a police report; she got enough right.
Courtney, I know you're only 21, so that explains a lot, but baby, please understand: We all reap what we sow. Just like I have to be OK with the women who come to f--k me Twittering about it or writing about it for millions to read, you need to be OK with me not caring for or considering you in bed. I'm sure there are a lot of guys who will be sweet and gentle with you in bed and really pay attention to your needs, but the guys you come out to sport f--k probably won't be among them.
And for the record, two things she said I want to confirm as true:
1. I absolutely baby talk my dog, Murph, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I love that goofy mutt, and she likes it when I baby talk and I don't care who knows.
2. She wasn't lying when she said I told her I wanted to eventually settle down and have kids. I do. Maybe not now, but soon enough that I think about it now. Of course, traveling around the country f--king all kinds of college girls who throw themselves at me probably doesn't help accomplish this goal. Eh, what can you do?
Still single, ladies: tuckermax@gmail.com
Tucker Max is the gentle soul behind TuckerMax.com and the author of the bestselling memoir, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. His new book, Assholes Finish First, is now available from Gallery.












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Wednesday 30 September
By lauragilbert08
Perhaps my thoughts on Tucker Max and this post are best expressed through cartoon:
http://www.explodingdog.com/november15/loveyoumore.html
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Thursday 01 October
By Arabella
I hope this douche gets AIDS
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Friday 02 October
By Lee
Or, at the very least, his penis becomes unusable so he can no longer pursue his "dream" of "settling down."
Sunday 04 October
By Hannah
LOL!!! You're comment is too funny. Yet, I have a feeling millions are thinking the same thing. I fully agree.
Thursday 01 October
By no one
this guy is a real ass!!!! and all the morans that hang around him are just that. his facebook page is filled with them.... no real woman would ever want to associate herself with him.... thats why he goes for the naive little tramps. One day he will wake up and he will be to old to play with those girls any longer and to washed up and synical for any proper woman to ever love him... he will live a very lonely life and die alone and loathed. I hope it was worth it pin head :)
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Wednesday 07 October
By Homer J. Simpson
I'm sure it was well worth it!
Thursday 01 October
By Mari
This guy is a real ass and UGLY too
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Thursday 01 October
By Jess
he sounds like a schmuck AND a douchebag! what a winning combination for a future daddy!
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Thursday 01 October
By Keri
I love this man! He is a complete selfish asshole, but he owns it. My husband brought home his book, and we both read it by the end of the week. It's non-stop LOLs if you share that sense of humor. I don't understand why any self-respecting woman would want to "sport f--k" anyone, let alone Tucker Max. If you have ever read his book or his blog, you would know that he's going treat you exactly how you let him. Door mats will get walked on, and sluts will get jack hammered. Courtney A. is a moron for expecting anything else out of Tucker.
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Friday 02 October
By Lee
If you have ever read his book or his blog, you would know that he's going treat you exactly how you let him. Door mats will get walked on, and sluts will get jack hammered. Courtney A. is a moron for expecting anything else out of Tucker.
Thank you for saying what I've been trying to say for years! Kudos!
Friday 02 October
By Kara
Guys like this are what make women dislike males in general. It would be nice if he got some horrible STD but at the same time he might pass them on to some unsuspecting female. I hope that someday he can know what if feels like to be in the other persons shoes.
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Sunday 04 October
By Reality check
"It would be nice if he got some horrible STD but at the same time he might pass them on to some unsuspecting female."
Any person (man or woman) who does one night stands, gets an STD and claims he/she was "unsuspecting" is an idiot and got what they deserved. If someone is too stupid or lazy to educate themselves about the risks of casual sex and how to protect themselves and others, they're shouldn't be having sex (casual or otherwise).
*only exception is if someone was raised in a bubble environment like the FLDS cult and doesn't know how the real world works. Then I do feel sorry for them.
Wednesday 07 October
By Pat
are you serious, your gonna blame it on him for the fact that she is an attention grabbing slut. of course you probably are too and are just defending your own. Everyone has to take responsbility for there own actions, she was a slut who wanted to get pounded by Tucker, she knew who he was and she slept with him and is now complaining about what he writes 300 pages about in his book, (which is why hes famous), If your a dumb slut your gonna get treated like one, thats your fault no one elses.
Oh by the way Most men hate women because theyre dumb, emotional, and golddiggers. The only time whiney bitches like you become interesting is when you shut up and open your legs.
But your probably a fat dyke, so scratch that, erkel wouldnt even fuck you
Friday 02 October
By Donna
Interesting... I guess I'm old but I don't see anything amusing about this guy or his stories... and I can't say much for a girl that would just go home with and screw any guy she knows NOTHING about and it's worse that she DID know what he was like.... whatever floats your boat I guess.
As for his movie... I feel like I've seen it before... if you are a woman whose ever had to endure drunken assholes in a bar before... you've seen it too. :P
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Friday 02 October
By Carrie
I never heard of Tucker Max before Lemondrop featured Courtney's story, but now I'm hooked! His stories are very fun, and he is definitely an amazing writer. I mean seriously, a self proclaimed asshole like himself comes off that charming in his blogs? -That or I am in love.
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Friday 02 October
By Rachael
Tucker Max. WOW. I just got reading "I hope they serve beer in hell" Though he call women whores, uses them for his pleasure, Makes girls think he loves them. I am Still very Attracted to him.Its wierd... I finish reading his book prove to myself what everyone else says about him and I still WANT TO FUCK HIM. I just dont understand it. He is quite attractive and Im sure he is better in bed then most people say.. ha ha.
My favorite part in the book.
YOU GAVE ME A UTI!
Thats not an STD you got in in the hottub.
NO I DIDNT.
YES you did (while lauging)
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Friday 02 October
By 3dogsandalady
Your dog is the only unconditional love you're getting and that's because she doesn't know any better. The rest is just creative writing. Do yourself a favor stop embarrassing yourself. Your not that hot and or good in bed, it's obvious from the way you write. That you should think yourself so high and mighty dickhead is the only thing I find hilarious about you and your upcoming sebum.
Do us a favor get rich, get fat and most importantly, move on.
Luv ya babe!
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Friday 02 October
By Jeff
Do you know how comical this is? Consider the incredible hypocrisy in all of this. Take note of the countless women (and severely jealous “men”) who berate Tucker Max for being Tucker Max, who slam him on the Internet, who say this and that about him… yet all and all, there is a never-ending supply of women who simply line up to sleep with him. Nowadays, not only does Tucker NOT have to even remotely “work” to court or pick these women up, he actually treats them like garbage and they STILL line up to sleep with him; Courtney’s story is solid evidence of this; yet another tale of a pattern that repeats itself over and over again in man/ women interactions.
Blogger comment: “Guys like this are what make women dislike males in general.”
Oh Please. If that were really true, if women truly felt that way, then guys like Tucker would never get laid at all, let alone have women come out of the woodwork (and get treated like sh*t) to sleep with him. Are you that naive? Do you really think the proverbial “nice guy” has women lined up like Tucker has? Really?
In reality, the blog bashing and negative comments display the feminine (beta) mind at work… Common wisdom dictates that guys that treat women like Tucker does are bad and would never enjoy the forbidden fruit of women given such an offensive and abrasive approach. Alas, the female creature is one not of logic but of emotion... Many of these exact same women who bash Tucker (or men like him), who agree that “Guys like this “are bad and should be avoided, are the exact same women who are lining up in droves to sleep with him/ them. Emotionally, women simply cannot avoid their attraction to this “Bad Boy” persona, regardless of the logic involved. No matter what your female logic says, women are attracted to that type of personality. The proof is in the pudding.
Instead of downing Tucker for being himself, why not blame the fuel to this whole fire? Where is the outcry on the droves and droves of your peers who are agreeing with you and then jumping into bed with the “Tuckers” out there? Where are female huntresses searching for their “nice guy” to rip the cloths off of?
Lets come back down to earth ladies…
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Sunday 04 October
By chesnutv
nailed it. 100 % right!!
Saturday 03 October
By melissa
hahaha
i think that this story is funny
he isnt an ass, this girl knew what she was getting into, the guy has a f***ing book all about his sexual prowess.
i think she got what she deserved.
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