Guess what? It's Banned Books Week! Which in means in addition to encouraging you young folks to get out there and read something scandalous (here's a list if you need some ideas), we'd also like to reflect on the titles that should've made the cut. Without further adieu, our own personal list of books we'd ban if someone put us in charge:
1. "Eat, Pray, Love," by Elizabeth Gilbert. Glad you "found yourself" on your little spiritual journey, Liz, but it's hard not to feel, oh, a little annoyed that you had to do it while traveling to the most beautiful places in the world. What, no revelation settings in Detroit?
2. "The Game," by Neil Strauss. Heeeey dudes! If you can't pick up women to save your life, read this mess of an instruction novel which involves a "pick-up artist" named Mystery dishing advice that involves wearing boas and insulting the opposite sex. Woo-hoo!
3. "Twilight" series, by Stephenie Meyer. We know we might ruffle some feathers (or werewolf fur, for that matter) for saying this but c'mon, people. These books have nothing on the genius that is Harry Potter! The only good thing that came out of this series was Robert Pattinson. There, we said it.
4. "A Million Little Pieces," by James Frey. Nothing like writing a memoir that didn't actually happen. Ban.
5. "P.S. I Love You," by Cecelia Ahern. The movie wasn't that good, but if you can believe it, the book was even worse. Overrun with clichés, dull characters and just plain bad writing, we actually couldn't get through it. (Think the fact her dad was the Irish head of government had anything to do with this being published?)
6. "The Celestine Prophecy," by James Redfield. Mostly because every d-bag in art school we wish we hadn't dated was reading it.
7. Anything by Katie Price. Katie Price, or shall we call you "Jordan"? Shut up. You're not even a real celebrity worth one book, much less THREE. We guesstimate the amount of text you actually wrote on your own amounts to about ... five pages.
8. "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell," by Tucker Max. Listen, the dude can write, no question about that. But we felt it necessary to include this book in the list for the sake of womankind.
9. "The Da Vinci Code," by Dan Brown. We know it's a bestseller and that you're rakin' in the Benjamins, Dan Brown. But your complicated treasure hunt novel that throws in religion and deciphering codes and numerical sequences ... we call bulls--t on how fast Robert Langdon figures it all out.
10. "Multiple Blessings," by Jon & Kate Gosselin. Listen, there are a lot of people out there unfit to be dishing parenting advice; these are just two. Plus, was the book necessary? Can't we just watch your show (or pick up a tabloid) for all the info we need?.
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Comments:
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Friday 02 October
By Carissa
Overall, hells yes. Thanks for an honest description of the "Twilight" series inanity. I would differ on "Da Vinci Code", but you're allowed your opinion.
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Friday 02 October
By Zhul
(People need to stop referring to money as "benjamins" *especially white people*. It sounds really stupid)
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Sunday 04 October
By scilicit
Thank goodness you guys picked Twilight. I've just regained some faith in womankind.
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Sunday 04 October
By lovestoread
The Twilight series is absolutely horrible. I wrote something similar to it for a creative writing class in high school and threw it out because I was so embarressed by it. I couldn't put the Harry Potter series down and have read it multiple times. I tried to read the first book in the Twilight series and put it down about half way through. Way to sappy and stupid.
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Sunday 04 October
By sarah
FYI!Almost of or this stuff has to do with religion!Da Vinci Code was apperntly so good that they made it into a movie!Twilight is a very good book series that TONS of peopl read!!You should definatly not bann a book because some gay people are in it too!Gay people rock!You people obviously have bad taste in books!!
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Sunday 04 October
By ray
so so true lemondrop....
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Sunday 04 October
By flat top
I'm with all the list, except for Eat Pray Love - jealous much, Andrea?
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Sunday 04 October
By sarah
F.Y.I.!!Incase you didn't notice almost all of these books have to do with religion!!Ex:Da Vinci Code. Apperantly it was good enough to make it to the silver screen!Twilight!AWESOME BOOK!!!Made into a movie too!Most of them I haven't read but one description said "gay"! That is BS people!You should like the book for the purpose not because somebody is gay!Gay people rock!You people obviously have bad taste in books and should keep your opinions to your self!
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Tuesday 06 October
By RJ
everyone should just let up for a moment. every novel written that has some sort of following has its haters. I personally don't like twilight but a lot of people do. this also goes for the da vinci code. the bible banned? i think not, religion doesn't start wars extremists do. the koran doesn't teach hatred the taliban and other terrorist regimes do. if everyone would just stfu for two minutes and think before opening their mouths or typing. they would realize how ignorant they sounded. The Bible and other such religious texts have been around a very long time and fuel a lot of peoples lives. the people that practically breathe the bible for the most part aren't that bad they at least try and teach someone something versus these religious free people who are constantly showing us all how much hatred they have by blaming religion for everything. that being said everyone should grow up and be quiet from time to time. Start thinking about something besides conspiracy theories and vampires and get back to the basics the world sucks and we made it that way by being way to judgmental about everybody who doesn't follow our standards or way of life.
Sunday 04 October
By ForeverAPotterhead
I am so sick of hearing about Twilight! It's rediculous haw huge it is when it's really just plain bad. I cannot believe some people even try to compare an obnoxiously mushy book about a girl with some serious mental issues and her weirdo stalker vampire lover to a work of sheer genius like Harry Potter.
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Sunday 04 October
By Bruce L
You've done a really good job compiling a list of crap books that people should know better than to read, but at the risk of seeming overly serious about a piece clearly written in jest, please don't suggest that these books should be "banned." Banning books is one of the most shameful practices any supposedly civilized society can engage in, and really isn't something to be made light of.
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Sunday 04 October
By ray
so so true gbenit....we have to be carefull now days our OPINIONS might land us in jail..
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Sunday 04 October
By mezl
gbenit- i'm with you on that one.... whole heartedly.
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Sunday 04 October
By ed wallace
to the author of this stupid article i have a great suggestion if you dont like a book dont read it its as simple as that no book shoulod be banned no one made you read the books on your list im sorry but banning books is to much like the nazis banning and burning books for my taste
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Sunday 04 October
By Micheal
You need to have your head looked at...The Twlight series shouldn't be banned just cause you don't like them...Neither should The De Vinci Code...
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Sunday 04 October
By Dick
I know, it says humor, entertainment, fun, but any suggestion, humorous or not, sponsoring the suggestion of banning or burning books sends chills down my spine and Andrea Zimmerman has done just that. Wake up Andrea. If you don't want to read a book you're free to ignore it. Someone else might be more opened minded and want to read it. How about this Andrea... why don't we ban any and all articles and news reports we don't agree with and don't want to read, such as yours for example?
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Sunday 04 October
By junkie2
It appears the writer of this post did no research into BBW. Check out our blog here http://littlejunkies.wordpress.com/2009/09/25/wtf-people-still-try-to-ban-books/ for more information and the American Library Association's website (http://www.ala.org/ala/issuesadvocacy/banned/bannedbooksweek/index.cfm) for important information on an important and often over looked topic.
Sunday 04 October
By cuegoddess
I agree with ray and gbenit, so much hatred, hurt and pain in the name of G-O-D.
I like your list with the exception of the Da Vinci Code, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. If you take it for the entertainment value and don't treat it as gospel, (pun very much intended) it's very entertaining, my son and I both read it in less than a day.
Bruce had a good point...let's not BAN them, just don't buy/recommend them.
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Sunday 04 October
By Donna
I think that people have the right to read what they want , If you don't like it then don't read it. Twilight and all thew other book that were mention to be banned is someone's opinion and only there opinion. to all read what you like it's only entertaiment.
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Sunday 04 October
By LIONEL
ban the koran .
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