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Did you know that women can enjoy size anxiety, too? About the length of their eyelashes, that is! If you've seen those weird Brooke Shields plugs for prescription "lash enhancement" products, you know "Plz Him with Yr Massive Lidlocks" spam emails can't be long behind.

If you've ever felt your blood pressure go up during those Penelope Cruz mascara ads where she's wearing a chinchilla's worth of fake lashes (she was FOR SURE not born with those, and no, maybe they are NOT Maybelline), you'll enjoy this Funny or Die "commercial" for Lashisse Lash Enhancer. We don't know what we love more about it: the crazy, crazy Cousin It eyelashes, or the line "It's like a penis pump ... but for eyelashes." Enjoy!