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You finally worked up the nerve to buy a vibrator.

Now comes the big hurdle: introducing your fella to the new battery-operated man in your life. Yes that's right -- just because you have the real thing at home doesn't mean the two of you can't shake up your sex life with a toy. We asked Claire Cavanah, co-founder of sex shop Babeland, for tips on working a vibrator into your twosome. "Adding a little stimulation during intercourse can bring each of you to new heights."

Popping the Question
Of course, you may have reservations about asking your guy if he's cool with you bringing a friend. Many girls I know worry that a man will freak or feel threatened by the suggestion. Here's how to do it with minimal awkwardness.



"Show enthusiasm and talk positively about the sex you're already having, then bring up the idea of adding a toy," Cavanah suggests. (Example: "Hey baby, last night in the shower was so hot. Let's try this next!")

Cavanah also recommends looking at vibrators online with your guy so that he feels included. It can also help demystify the process for him -- and reassure him that there are lots of styles besides the "great big plastic penis"-looking ones that can make him feel inadequate.

Regardless of how he reacts, it's important not to feel embarrassed or guilty about wanting to use a vibrator. Says Cavanah, "A significant number of women need that strong, consistent vibration to get all the way to orgasm, even with a lover. That's just how some women are built."

In other words, if he truly wants to get you off, he'll give it a go.

All the Right Moves
Now, how do you use this darn thing? To do this, have one person hold the vibrator while the other enjoys the stimulation, or rest it between you for a mutual thrill. Cavanah also recommends holding a finger vibrator against your cheek while going down on him.

In addition to the tips suggested above, Cavanah recommends the woman getting on top, as it will be easier for him to reach your clit. A doggy-style position will also give him space to reach around. And if you prefer face-to-face, look-Ma-no-hands lovin', try a vibrating ring.

Advanced Options
While any vibrator will work, certain models are specially designed to deliver happy endings to both parties.

"A finger vibe like the Fukuoku is easy to use in any situation," Cavanah notes. "It slips over the tip of your finger and feels good on the balls and clit. Vibrating cock rings like the Bo strap onto the penis to deliver vibration to the clit during intercourse and also to the shaft of the penis." Many condom manufacturers now make these types of toys, which you can get in drugstores.

"One of Babeland's most popular toys is the We Vibe because it's the first and only vibe that can be worn by a woman during intercourse. Its horseshoe-shaped design can provide consistent vibration to the clit, g-spot and the penis simultaneously, which can lead to simultaneous orgasms."

Safety First
With great sex comes great responsibility. Cavanah warns against going from back to front with your vibrator, which can spread all sorts of nasty bacteria.

"If you think you'll be using the toy anally and vaginally, put a condom on it before using it on the back door, and take it off for a clean surface up front," she says. "Condoms are a good idea for toys and penises as a general rule. They keep everything nice and clean."

Got it? Good. Now go grab some extra batteries ... you just might need them!

Tell Us: Have you ever used a vibrator with your partner?