Lemondrop

On Sunday night, HBO is premiering a new detective show called "Bored to Death." It would be nice to pretend we're watching it for scholarly pursuits, but let's be real -- with a cast that includes Jason Schwartzman and Zach Galifianakis, we're hoping it will be the ultimate smart-girl porn.

Clearly HBO is doing all the ladies who are a little too ... mature for Robert Pattinson a favor.

Sure, Schwartzman may not be the gold standard for sexiness, but he wrote "The Darjeeling Limited"; his band, Coconut Records, is actually pretty good; and most of all, he was Max Fischer, sparking an undying crush on him ever since the first time we saw "Rushmore" back in 1998. And Galifianakis is chubby, but you could really sink your hands into that beard. Plus, he's hilarious AND he can play the piano.

And after all, there's no point in fantasizing about a gorgeous dude if you can't get past the notion that he's probably a secret mouth-breather.

Read on for more thinking-lady's sex symbols.

Justin Long
Justin Long is like that kind of funny nerdy guy who sat next to you in Computer Science class in high school who secretly wanted to go to prom with you. Except when Justin Long takes off his shirt he looks like the white version of D'Angelo. Seriously.
James Franco
James Franco is super-hot, seems genuinely nice and, as an added bonus, he loves poetry. As in enough to read it out loud in public. Le sigh.
Paul Rudd
You secretly thought he was cute in "Clueless," but you also wanted to seem cool so you didn't tell your friends you watched "Clueless." Now he's like the hilarious, better-looking version of Vampire Bill, with the extreme advantage that you can't see a makeup line in his hair part.
Clive Owen
If you're going to have the hots for a dude who does action movies, it may as well be a guy who does hilarious ones like "Shoot 'Em Up," or smarty-pants ones like "Children of Men." Also this.
Wayne Coyne
At some point in time, Wayne Coyne went from being that weird guy in The Flaming Lips, to being that weird guy in The Flaming Lips who looks like a college professor you would want to do.


Who are your slightly less than conventional crushes, and what is it about them that you find so appealing? Let us know in the comments!