Lemondrop

Forget the guy across the bar; your eyes are fixed on the dude behind it. And, chances are, if he's been tending bar for a while, he's heard just about all of these ill-advised attempts to attract his attention. So offer to buy him a drink, read on for what not to say, and become top-shelf material instead of just another dollar-draft drink.


10. "What do you recommend?"
He gets this a lot. Try suggesting a drink of your own for him to sample.

9. "So, can you score me free drinks?"
Ahh, nothing like an incentive to make him more appealing, right? It's the romantic equivalent of a cereal-box prize.

8. "How many girls hit on you tonight?"
Tons. Feel better? Didn't think so.

7. "Let's get wasted!"
Totally. What sorority are you in, again?

6. "I can drink you under the table."
You might think a challenge will appeal to his competitive nature, and you're right. But, if you're merely a lightweight trying to impress him with a heroic tolerance, think of how stoked he'll be when he's holding your hair back while you're tossin' Fiber One bars in the parking lot.

5. "Want to hang out this weekend?"
Would you ask a banker to go to brunch Tuesday at 11 a.m.? It's not that you're less important than making money, but Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are the crunch nights for bartenders-these three nights can produce more cash than a month's worth of Mondays and Tuesdays. Let's compromise and figure out a night off.

4. "Were you flirting with her?"
Probably. The best tips come from the bar patrons who feel special. C'mon, like you've never batted your eyelashes to get something you want?

3. "Wanna go to a bar?"
Yes, and no. Bars are certainly a great place for fun interaction, and a laid-back good time. But, if he spends half of his waking hours there, he might like to go somewhere else for a change. (You know, like a lounge or a pub.)

2. "When are you going to get a real job?"
Are you kidding? On a busy night at a quality bar, bartenders can rake in hundreds per shift.

1. "How much do you make?"
Just as you wouldn't ask this question to a doctor, lawyer or busker, you shouldn't ask a bartender either. Besides, we just told you! Read more carefully.

Matt Christensen has written for Maxim, Cosmopolitan and Match.com. If you see him out, feel free to buy him a Scooby Snack (Midori, Malibu and milk).