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An octogenarian recently went all Rambo on her retirement community, arming herself with a rifle and threatening to start plugging people.

Police say 84-year-old Bertha Burrows of Middletown, N.Y., may have been hallucinating after taking new medication. Whatever her motives, she grabbed her .22 caliber single-shot rifle and decided to take action against people she thought were stealing from and poisoning her.

After a two-hour standoff the police finally convinced Bertha to give herself up (perhaps by offering her a one-year subscription to Reader's Digest or a package of delicious Werther's Originals). They found that although the gun was never loaded, she did have ammo on hand.

Let this stand as a reminder to you who would laugh in the faces of those who read Cat Fancy and crochet afghans. Really old ladies -- not only are they terrible drivers, but sometimes they're armed.