Danish researchers have discovered that people with chunky thighs live longer than people with skinny ones. Jiggle away, cellulite! Henceforth, you shall be regarded as an omen of longevity.

Even obesity, age, and smoking didn't seem to affect the correlation between well-padded femurs and living long. But before you start pounding Chunky Monkey on your legs in celebration, scientists say this has less to do with overall chubbiness and more to do with the distribution of fat on the body.

Having big thighs simply means that some of your "winter stores" have graciously avoided being deposited on your abdomen, which can lead to diabetes and heart disease, among other health problems.

Further research is needed to see if increasing muscle mass in your thighs without weight loss can increase your longevity. Until then, we'll take the elevator.