Your Favourite Whitney Memories: 'Singing At The Back Of The Bus'
Jamie Lee Curtis: Blame It On The Fame Game?
Last weekend I went out with a group of my girlfriends to celebrate a mutual friend's birthday. When we walked up to the bar, my ex was there with his girlfriend of over a year. Since I see this particular ex of mine as strictly a friend -- no romantic feelings whatsoever -- it didn't faze me to run in to the two of them. That is, until his girlfriend turned around, gave me the middle finger and called me, well, an effing bee.
She'd voiced her disdain toward me in the past, but this was the first time she'd been so blatant or done it front of my ex. Since I have never done anything that warrants her (somewhat accurate) judgment, my ex just stood there looking like a deer in headlights. So much for thinking he'd jump to my rescue.
I can't fault him for not taking a stand -- I suppose that would open a whole other can of worms in their relationship. But I don't grasp why my ex's new girlfriend won't try to get along with me (or at least ignore me), especially when my ex and I have the same group of friends.
Help me out -- what's your best strategy when it comes to making nice with a past guy's new girl? What should I do if she's nasty like that again?
Kristen Rollins blogs regularly about sex and relationships for Lemondrop.
Comments:
Add a comment
Tuesday 08 September
By CM
I've been here before: best friend (also an ex) who was dating a crazy possessive girlfriend (let me guess, *much* younger?). And there is nothing you can do (sorry!). Eventually they will break up since she's batty and things will go back to normal with you and your friend. But any move you take looks like you're trying to get in the way, which will make you look like the bad guy. Just wait it out and smile.
Reply
Tuesday 08 September
By Liz
My ex and I are close friends and I hang out with him and his new girlfriend all the time. In fact, she and I are almost closer friends now than I am with him. The way I was able to bond with her was by joking about some quirk my ex had or how we hate it when he does___. Also, I had to prove to her that I was not a threat and that I would never date him again. Now, she comes to me for advice on their relationship a lot because she knows I have been through that before. I know how she feels. If that doesn't work, kill her with kindness. It is hard to hate someone who is always nice to you...eventually you will give in.
Reply
Wednesday 09 September
By Myriad
That kind of girl is very trashy and low-class, and if he dated a girl like you and then Ms. Trashy Ass, I'm sure they'll break up soon enough.
A similar thing has happened to me, but a little reversed. I'm my boyfriend's current girlfriend, and his ex is being like that, even though we used to be friends. She says the nastiest stuff to me, right in front of him. Fortunately he's been sticking up for me.
You can't really do anything now or you'll look petty, but if it ever happens again, all you have to do is to: ignore the bitch, arch your eyebrow at your boyfriend, and say "What a classy one you have here" in a teasing voice. You'll shame him, embarrass her, make yourself look classy, and also kick her self-esteem in the ass, because you'll ignore her and won't talk to her.
Then you go about your day and have fun.
And if you want to be a bitch, say something naughty/flirty and then move on before the bitch can react. :3
Reply
Thursday 10 September
By Shannon
I have never stayed friends with an ex so I don't know about that. But if my husband and I ever run in to each other's exes we are never rude like that. If my husbands ex comes up to us to say hi I say hello and smile. I am confidant and know that my husband broke up with those girls for reasons. There was no reason for that little girl to act the way she did. I agree with the comment that he will probably break up with her because she is obviously batty. Guys don't like insecure girls and she is insecure in her relationship if she wants to treat you that way.
Reply
Thursday 10 September
By Cee
how immature. Seriously she doens't sound worth ur time...(or his)
If she deciedes to immature again jus ignore her cuz she's prob one of those chicks that just wants something to gossip to her friends about her "dramatic life." so getting in a fight w/her boyfriends ex would be the highlight of her pathetic life and u dnt have to give that 2her
Reply
Thursday 10 September
By wolfster9
I don't know what kind of shape your in,but it seems to me that she is looking for a Fight, so if you feel that you could beat her A...s, then do that , she has it comming. On the other hand, if you truely feel that you can't whupp her ,then like a true Lady ,simply ignore her and try not to hang out in the same places she does, this way you show her that you are not willing to stoop down to her level.
Reply
Thursday 10 September
By Melisa
Seriously she is a classless piece of trash, however your ex should put her in her place. It seems like you ex down graded to me, she is very childish. On the other note there might be a reason why she is doing it, maybe you ex might have told her some false information about you. Guys tend to tell females what they want to hear no matter how close his and your relationship might seem. At the end of the day he is still your ex, but if she keeps it up, I don't mean to sound ignorant, but I'd kick her ass. When you let things slide people think that your a punk or a pushover.
Reply
Saturday 12 September
By Susako
I would second the comment about killing someone with kindness. If you act rude/bitchy, you're just fuelling the fire and giving her an excuse to hate you. So mean comments to your ex about his current girlfriend in front of her aren't going to help. Don't look to him for help in this kind of situation, it's a tough one for him being in the middle and you don't want to give the girl fuel for the fire of her insecurities. If you want to be his friend, then don't drag him into an open battle, let him talk with his girlfriend about it in private, let him reassure her on his end. If this kind of situation pops up again, deal with her directly, don't go through him, be nice, be the better person, and let her know that you're extending the hand of friendship, not extending the hand to snatch away her man.
Reply
Sunday 13 September
By deadgrlsprstr
I tried to stay friends with my 1st b/f, the guy who was my first everything but the last two girls he's been with have made it impossible, for absolutely no reason other than I talk to him they have called me or texted me calling me all sorts of names and implying that I want him back. The funny thing is I'm engaged to someone else, the sad thing is my ex never once stood up for me or told his girlfriends to stop, after the first one we reconnected as friends and he actually apologized for all the shit over the years said he couldn't believe he had treated me like that and he was so sorry for it and wanted for us to be friends and promised me he would never let anything like that happen again. well girl number 3 comes along and does the same shit and he still lets it happen and even jumps in and I'm like "wow, you're 26 but you act like you're still in high school, that's freakin sad" as for the girl when she txted me I told her she was immature and that if she was that insecure in her relationship that was really sad for her. ps, she's 19, his last girlfriend was like 5 yrs older than us at the time he started dating her so 24 to his 19. it's sad but it's things like that that make me believe you can not be friends with exes, it just doesn't work out.
Reply
Sunday 13 September
By hrm12
My ex's girlfriend is like that. She apparently got into his phone and got my #. She sends me fairly regular texts telling me to stay away from "her man", etc. It's forced the ex and I to meet in private, which we do. We go get coffee and exchange comic books at least a few times a month (see! completely innocent!). I think the fact that it's kept secret though, makes it into something more than it is: two friends being dorkish together. The fact is, my ex and I broke up YEARS ago. We had our time. It was great, and now it's OVER. I wish his gf would realize this!!!
Reply
Monday 12 October
By tom
my ex girlfriend and my current girlfriend are bffs..what the f. lol i dont want them getting along. my ex tells her everything cus she knows me so well..and she will be like, for example toms gonna do this now, and shes right and then my girlfriend gets mad at me for it but still loves her. i wish they weren't friends
Reply
Monday 11 January
By ivonne guardado
gy
Reply