British novelist Fay Weldon is known for her feisty heroines. In fact, she's written several dozen novels with what many consider to be staunchly feminist messages. But in an interview to promote her most recent book, called "Chalcot Crescent," Ms. Weldon was singing a very different tune -- more "Stand by Your Man" than "Can't Hold Us Down.""It's such a waste of time trying to tell your husband to pick up the socks or clean the loo," she reportedly said. "It's much easier just to do it yourself."
Your Husband is Not Your Best Friend
Ms. Weldon, now 77 and the mother of four sons, also said that women have unrealistic expectations that men will be their best friends and *shocker* talk about their feelings. (Really? We actually know a couple of guys like that.)
But here's the real kicker: "I think we should have more teenage pregnancies, and work afterwards," she said. "If you have children late you have no energy left for sex, and then men wander off to find someone else."
We Consider the Source
Yes, but how are all those teen mothers supposed to support their kids and get ahead at the office? Ms. Weldon herself has been married three times and once scraped together a living to support her first son, so we're not so sure that she has all the answers.
Perhaps this is part of a publicity campaign to get attention and build book buzz? Well, she has our attention, but we're not buying it (or her book).
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Study: Some Guys Like STDs?!? (TresSugar) 











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Saturday 29 August
By Anna Maria
I feel she is correct in saying our husbands/lovers are not our best friends. Frankly if we have a man who wants to sit next to us and talk about "feelings", we might find he likes to sew curtains too and is ultimately lacking in sufficient testosterone to keep the relationship hot. If we want a best friend we best learn to befrend and trust our own gender and let our husbands and lovers be the men nature intended them to be.
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Saturday 29 August
By rachel
Well, my husband is my best friend. That is how it should be. It is important to have friends outside of your marriage, but your spouse needs to be top priority. We don't sit around discussing our feelings or anything like that. I know he couldn't care less about discussing that kind of stuff. He loves me, actions speak louder than words. We enjoy being together, taking care of our kids and our home. I think the secret to a great marriage is to not have unrealistic expectations. Perfect doesn't exist. Everybody has problems, how you handle those problems makes all the difference in the world.
Saturday 29 August
By SoapBoxSpeaker
Finally, a woman who gets it! Too many women expect a man to be the magic eraser for all of their life problems and when he can't make them all go away (after several attempts of him suggesting how she might correct said problems), she blames him for their existence.
I appreciate your comments A.M.! Married? kidding ;-)
®
Saturday 29 August
By George
Wow... A secure and honest woman. I did not believe those still exisited. You are so right and so is Fay Weldon. All others are in denial.
Saturday 29 August
By MoYenBX
Some husbands aren't overgrown pre-schoolers and can pick up their own socks without their moms...er, wives, trailing behind them and showing them how to do simple tasks even househould pets can do :)
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Saturday 29 August
By Tony
That mindset shows me how close you actually are to your husband and how much he actually means to you. I'm a man who has no problem moving a pair of shoes or hanging up my girlfriend's sweater if she leaves it out because I love her. Too many women think that if they pick up a guy's socks it makes them his "slave" or even worse it makes them a man's "door mat"! After all, what would Gloria Steinem think of you, right? If you can't do little things like that for each other why even be together in the first place?
A man who knows how to love his woman
Saturday 29 August
By David Haynes
My wife sits at home most all day on a computer on facebook when not on face book she is reading it takes all day to wash 3 loads of landury. When I was working sometimes there would be dirty dishes in the sink at bed time and they would still be there when I came home from work the next day. Now I am out of a job and at home most of the time ( when not job hunting ) so now laundry gets done , dishes get done and yes the vaccum even gets used and normal it gets done before she is done on face book. Not only do I pick up my socks every thing else that comes off before the socks goes in the hamper.I need to stay busy not working have to do something to work off the energy.
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Saturday 29 August
By Alexandra
Oh Dear it sounds like you're married to a useless slob and it sounds like you deserve better than that. There're a lot of hard working women out there you know?
They have a job, take care of the kids and the house and still manage to give their man love and attention. Yes they're super women and not so easy to find but at least you could aim for someone who's in between the extremes.
Saturday 29 August
By doogiette
Being a military family, many times we are all we have. My husband IS my best friend and we count on each other 100%. He picks up his own socks (and puts them in the hamper), cleans, cooks, mows the lawn and takes care of our children and I.
We even married young (he was 21 and I was 19). We waited several years before having children and have now been married for over 17 years.
Sounds like some really bitter women with more than likely some really bad experiences with men. There are good ones out there. They're just harder to find.
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Saturday 29 August
By Tay
I couldn't agree more doogiette! My finacee is my best friend. We were friends before we were ever lovers. I think friendship lays a good foundation for teamwork.
Saturday 29 August
By DawnS
Mothers of today need to teach their sons independence. Start them doing their own laundry early in life, cook for the family once a week, doing exterior work on the home also. Then they won't be quick to marry a woman, just to take care of them, picking up their socks etc. A married couple these days both have careers. Married couples still need independent time each and bonding time between themselves. This way, there won't be any resentment toward one or the other when neither of them are the servant & there is more time for the good part of life for both in the marriage. MOTHERS OF TODAY, TEACH YOUR SONS. It will bring them to a happy, comfortable & mutual marriage.
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Saturday 29 August
By kathe
i have been married over 40 years and not being tidy, but messy is
one of the leading reasons couples do not stay together.
certainly men can do their share -- their mothers probably enabled them;
and the wives continue doing so -- because it is easier -- only in the short run.
my husband is my best friend -- i can't tell him everything that i tell my girl
best friend -- but i cannot tell her everything either.
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Saturday 29 August
By ralphgmiami
Controversey SELLS!!!!And it's also free publicity!!!!!Look how many people, especially rock stars who do and say controversial things. They're not forgotten. In fact, they sell a million CDs by next week. Look at how many rappers say racist things that have the black ancestor of every black person rolling in their grave. Then the kids go out and buy the CDs. It all started with John Lennon saying the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. Then even people who were going to burn Beatle albums went out and bought them just to burn them. I think this lady did this to sell more copies of her book. The old cliche goes, "crazy, crazy like a fox."
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Saturday 29 August
By been there done that
Jerry Hall said it best when refering to the simplicity of keeping a man..."you've got to be a maid in the living room, cook in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedrooom!"
With all of those benefits, what woman wouldn't want to sprint to the altar to get married? I know Idid 25 years ago, and guess what? When middle age hits most men, they want a younger maid, younger cook and younger whore!
As for husbands being your best friend? Ther're men, they have a different agenda. Keep you best girlfriends close. They'll stick with you long after your husband/"best friend" is gone!!!
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Saturday 29 August
By Theodora Sue
This woman's opinion sounds like a bunch of crock to me. I have been married 41 years, and would only pick up my husband's socks on one occasion........if he left them on the floor a week and I decided to burn them! He is also my closest friend, yet not one I would tell every secret to, but the one I trust the most. I have been stabbed in the back by a few female "best friends" over my life span. I also had children in my early 20's and it did not spice up our life when the kids were grown. Time changes the passion and romance in any relationship, kids early or late. It is something one always has to work on all the time. I do feel teenage mothers are not the best thing. I believe a woman should have travel, career, and life experience before she marries so she can bring the wisdom to the children early on. It is hard to have a career and raise kids. I had kids young and worked part time and it was still hard. Men and women have affairs over a multitude of reasons, not just because women have no energy left for sex. It is usually because one or both have let the romance part of the relationship die. I don't feel this author has learned the best life lessons yet. There's still time. Perhaps she needs to have some therapy over why her marriages really failed. I don't think she gets it yet.
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Saturday 29 August
By SoapBoxSpeaker
And you probably toss the oars out of a life boat too.
Saturday 29 August
By Dan
My wife and i have been married 32 yrs we married at 18, I pick up my socks and clean and cook, Do we tell each other everything No im sure we dont ,we have been with each other along time , we are best friends but some things better left unsaid
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Saturday 29 August
By Vic
Lets see, we pay the mortgage, provide insurance, bring home the bacon, and YOU cant clean the loo and pick up my socks?
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Saturday 29 August
By Theodora Sue
Vic, Mommy should have taught you to pick up your socks as a wee one. We may be house cleaners, bookkeepers, mommies, lovers, cooks, educators, gardeners, social life organizers, volunteers at home, but we are not slaves for slobs. Get a life and pick up your own socks and have respect for your wife and yourself.
SoapBox Speaker, What the heck does tossing the oars out of a lifeboat have to do with my comments? You make NO sense at all. I tend to be very good at rescuing myself (and others, thank you). I might jump out of a lifeboat if YOU were in it though.
Sunday 30 August
By Granny Rob
This gal has been married 3 times -- doesn't appear to me that she knows much about knowing a good man as your best friend ... or men in general. She's got an "us against them" basic philosophy.
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